Fertility treatments, what are your opinions?

[sassafras]

I think I'm upset more so because it was portrayed as selfish and uncaring to have a child if you have an inherited disease.

Well, plus... pretty much everyone has some sort of inherited disease or predisposition to disease. Some are more obvious than others. Heart disease runs in one side of my family. Many cancers likely have a genetic component.

To some extent the risk of some predispositions can be mitigated with lifestyle choices and medication, but... where does the line get drawn, really? Heart disease = ok to have kids, diabetes = not ok to have kids? Yes some people make choices to have kids that I might not make myself, but jeez... I don't want to live in a world where someone else is making those choices for them.

 

[sparks19]

I would weigh the pros and cons. There is a chance my children or their grandchildren will have type1diabetes. There is a very strong chance my girls will have ocd, adhd, anxiety, and addiction; I would still have them. You're painting those of us with imperfections as victims and unable to better the world around us.

Yes, there are limits but for the most part I like to believe I would be strong enough to see the good and potential in my children, not the imperfection alone.

Not to mention that attimes those people we figure shouldn't be alive because they are suffering at the hands of their selfish parents are the ones changing hearts and changing peoples lives.

I like Josh Blue as an example. A guy with Palsy (I can't remember if it was cerebral or a different one). He has little control over his body's movements so what did he do? he embraced his condition and won Last Comic Standing and he has an INCREDIBLE outlook on life and his enthusiasm is so contagious I don't see how you could look at him and be like "Poor soul he must be suffering terribly".

Shorter life expectancy stinks when you are looking in but perhaps it just means they will make a bigger impact on peoples lives in a shorter amount of time?

 

[MandyPug]

And then we become the film Gattaca.

Watched that film in biology class... It was about as good as Contact.

 

[~Jessie~]

Where didninsay it was repulsive? I just asked if you (general you) THINK we should get back to a more natural way of conceiving children or "artificial ways should be explored more like ways of invetro that don't end up with 6-8 babies, things like that.

I find that many of you guys get very catty when someone has differing opinions from yours, I didn't even voice mine: if you go back to my OP no where (to my knowledge) does it say anywhere that I think anything it repulsive, I was merely what you guys thought about it.

Yes, you did voice your opinion. You said:

How far is too far to take fertility treatments? When should a couple say "enough is enough"? Should ppl listen to their bodies because maybe there is a reason bodily wise why someone can't conceive naturally.
Should we get back to the good old days of just letting nature decide? What are your thoughts?

and then you said:

I am not seeking fertility treatment ... I don't even have kids but I have an opinion about it & that opinion is that I really don't like it & I wish they had never come up with it.

It's quite apparent that you think pregnancy (and post pregnancy) is disgusting. You think breast feeding is disgusting unless you're not a human.

no strangely, nursing animals doesnt bother me as much, tho i dont know why

In the Chaz mom thread, you wrote this:

thats what stops me, the whole changing of your body ... im waaaay too vain for that LOL i have a hard enough time battling the 'pooch' as it is lol plus i am 30, getting too up there in baby making years (i have read the risk of birth defects rises once you pass 30) so to me its not worth it... plus i kust dont want kids LMBO

and this:

I see pregger women at the store waddling around & I think "why do that to yourself?" It's seems so ... Unattractive lol (don't mean to be insensitive ... Just saying) also I she seen a lot of women after baby & it's not mug better ... No thanks, not worth it for me.

And in the breast feeding thread, you had a ton to say:

I hate it, it wiggs me out & shouldnt be allowed in public... makes my skin crawl... orry but thats how i feel, when i see it happening i will if i can walk the other way if i cant i have voiced my distain like in a resturant... (REALLY??? sorry but i dont to look/hear that when i am trying to eat, turns my stomach just thinking about it)

yeah there is formula folks, the natural stufff may be best but i mean come on, why not put some in bottles for outings, eh? ewwwww if someone were in the buffet line doing that i would say something about it. thats even grosser ~_~.

i would never have kids, just the fact of having something inside me growing is enoiugh to wig me out.

Im not saying she has to, I'm just saying dont be surprised when i exhibit distain when i see it (which luckily is not very often). incase you are wondering yes i was breastfed & yes my mother & have conflicting views on this as you can probably tell. if we are together & see it she's like "awww" while I'm doing my best not to lose the food i have in my stomach.
i have seen moms with babies that i think are waaaay too young to be out in public, but thats a whole nuther thread. maybe they should wait til they can go a little longer btw feedings or something.

i dont know... the whole thing just creeps me out, i just cant get over the revolt i feel twds it. no i dont expect someone to jump to apease my opinions... just dont get pissed off when i respect them.

Yeah cuz I'm the bad guy I guess lol but I to agree with her, have a little dignity about it eh? That's what we saw when I was a kid, like your sister with your niece boobs all hanging out like a cow for all to see, ok I understand it's a right but why abuse it & ruin it for everyone else who IS being modest about it.

I do get thr willies about it but I can usually 'grin & bear it' if thr mom is being modest about it... Mom ways used a blanket for latching she said & she had a nursing be & wore button down shirts while she was brestfeeding & yes when that mom who let it all hang out like an ep of girls gone wild, she told her a thing or two.

i also dont understand who everyone is posting underwhere ads as a debate... its not even the same thing! those women arent flashing anyone! the whole underside of their boob is covered! its not even about the coverage, its just the fact that another living thing is feeding off you is almost enough to make me want to crawl out of my own skin because i personally hate my boobs being touched, i dont even like the fabric of my clothes rubbing against them, so the thought of something sucking on them makes me want to throw up, to me it gets the same reaction as someone suddenly tossing their cookies in front of me or something, i know they cant help it but im still going to away & go "ewwww!"

It is VERY, VERY obvious you find pregnancy and raising children as this disgusting terrible thing.

It's more than a little strange that you post over and over again about it, though. If you find it so disgusting, why don't you avoid these threads? It's like you're purposely trying to offend moms and make them feel bad about their choices.

 

[~Jessie~]

Well, plus... pretty much everyone has some sort of inherited disease or predisposition to disease. Some are more obvious than others. Heart disease runs in one side of my family. Many cancers likely have a genetic component.

Exactly. I have heart disease on one side of the family (maternal grandmother)- but we're unsure if it was caused by her lifestyle or if it was genetic. My mom gets stress tests every couple of years to make sure that she's not having any heart issues.

She also had asthma. My mom has asthma. My sister has asthma. I have asthma. Most likely, if I have a daughter, she'll have asthma.

I spent a LOT of my early childhood in the hospital due to asthma. Am I happy my parents chose to have me? YES! I love my life. Asthma is an inconvenience for sure, but it sure beats the alternative.

My paternal grandmother is in her 90s and still kicking. My dad's side of the family seems to live forever.

My parents really wanted children, and I'm thankful they didn't decide not to have us because of the possibility for genetic diseases.

A high school friend of mine's sister had spina bifida and was confined to a wheelchair. She was one of the nicest, happiest people I've met. She held a job, went to college, and married her high school sweetheart. Just because you're born with a disease doesn't mean life isn't worth living. We're not all perfect, and these challenges make us stronger.

ETA: If you're battling with infertility you're probably already down on yourself. If you're spending thousands upon thousands of dollars trying to conceive, you must REALLY want children. Any child would be lucky to be born into a home where their parents went through a ton of medical intervention (and expense!) to be able to have them.

 

[Greenmagick]

I do think its a valid question..why would one knowingly pass on certain genetic disorders. But just because its a valid question doesnt make one wrong for choosing to or make that child any less. Its a question that has a different answer for each person.

 

[AdrianneIsabel]

I do think its a valid question..why would one knowingly pass on certain genetic disorders. .

And the question is followed by, what makes one think such conditions (like Sass said most everyone has one form or another) negate what one would consider a full life?
(Posted earlier but Chaz ate-ed it)

 

[sillysally]

I do think its a valid question..why would one knowingly pass on certain genetic disorders. But just because its a valid question doesnt make one wrong for choosing to or make that child any less. Its a question that has a different answer for each person.

This.

Also, there are varying degrees of genetic disorders. Some are simply a predisposition to a problem that may or may not occur and can often be influenced by lifestyle factors. Others are guaranteed suffering and a shorter life span. I think that people should be allowed to make their own reproductive decisions, but if I was very likely to pass on something awful to a child I don't know that I would reproduce.

I think it's interesting that people seem more critical of those who are poor having children than those who have genetic disorders. I know many people born to poor families, or families with tons of kids, or children born to teenage mothers who are very happy to be alive and have a positive influence on those around them.

We may very well have kids, but the idea of something growing inside me like a little alien weirds me out a little, as does birth. I would not forgo child bearing for those reasons, but I understand understand the feeling.

 

[Lyzelle]

Well, obviously it doesn't make the choice or child any less. Everyone jumped on the Chaz crazy train with that one.

But honestly - if you could knowingly change a serious medical condition in your future unborn child...would you? To improve certain aspects of their life quality? At what line is having a child not worth the conditions they will deal with? At what point is the quality of life you give them genetically just...too much?

Everyone loves life. Everyone loves their kids. Obviously. Every life is worth living. Obviously. But this isn't YOUR life we are talking about. This is a completely new life you are completely responsible for that YOU created.

Personally, I don't want the responsibility of knowing I brought a kid in the world that would deal with depression, anxiety, PCOS, infertility, heart disease, diabetes, anemia...and who knows what else. I'd still love it, of course. Still try my best to make everything as perfect as possible. Know that it's a beautiful life, no matter what. But the idea of it makes me incredibly sad. Because it would be directly my fault, because *I* chose to give birth, no matter what, and that kid had no choice in any of it. They just have to deal and make the best out of it because it's life and everyone is supposed to love life no matter what, right?

I wasn't on a eugenics train or trashing everyone that said they had kids with medical problems. I just didn't understand the mentality of it being a-ok and no one bothers to think about the quality of life they are going to provide their kids.

It's going to be a different answer for everyone, because it's an entirely PERSONAL decision. But some things about I just didn't understand. I didn't mean everyone with a serious medical condition shouldn't have kids. There's all sorts of variables. Especially with the sheer amount of medical knowledge we have today. Some things that used to be debilitating aren't that serious anymore.

Just like I don't understand continuing to bring in children when you can't feed the ones you have. There are all sorts of variables to that, too. And it's not like I'm going to be all, "Everyone should stop having kids NOW". I just wanted to know what each parent thought about the quality of life they gave their kids, genetically. The reasons they decided to have kids despite the odds and everything else.

 

[sillysally]

I would a absolutely change my health issues. I have bi-polar, OCD, and really bad vision, and I would fix those in a heart beat. I would also fix future health issues in my child if it were possible. Life is challenging enough, I don't see a point in saddling them with something health (mental or physical) if I could do something about it.

 

[AdrianneIsabel]

I honestly think I am a better person for the challenges I have had to overcome.

 

[JessLough]

Oh, so nobody should ever have kids. Cause depression and anxiety happens without the parents having it.

 

[Lyzelle]

Oh, so nobody should ever have kids. Cause depression and anxiety happens without the parents having it.

You said it. Not me.

 

[sillysally]

I would a absolutely change my health issues. I have bi-polar, OCD, and really bad vision, and I would fix those in a heart beat. I would also fix future health issues in my child if it were possible. Life is challenging enough, I don't see a point in saddling them with something health (mental or physical) if I could do something about it.

I honestly think I am a better person for the challenges I have had to overcome.

Eh, I have other things I would rather pour my energy into instead of keeping my anxiety in check so that I'm not compelled to check every door, burner, and electrical outlet a dozen ones before I leave the house. I'd rather I had back all the time I spent in nearly crippling depression. And while we are wishing, I'd like to be able to select eye shadow without having to consider the ramifications of its consistansy on hard contacts. I don't see this things as making me who I am, I see them as ongoing health issues I have to keep an eye on, like diabetes or something.

 

[AdrianneIsabel]

I'm sorry you feel that way, we'll have to disagree.

To each their own, but some of the most magical, most extraordinary, and most inspiring people have been born of hardships. I think it's a different outlook on life, purpose verses existence. I don't mean this in the way that greatness cannot be born without hardship nor do I mean I would ever purposefully set a child up for hardship but I have a hard time thinking that in an effort for perfection we may not be harming or all be it removing the great minds and great souls of our world.

 

[Dogdragoness]

Just like I don't understand continuing to bring in children when you can't feed the ones you have. There are all sorts of variables to that, too. And it's not like I'm going to be all, "Everyone should stop having kids NOW". I just wanted to know what each parent thought about the quality of life they gave their kids, genetically. The reasons they decided to have kids despite the odds and everything else.

Um, that's something to think about.

 

[sillysally]

I'm sorry you feel that way, we'll have to disagree.

To each their own, but some of the most magical, most extraordinary, and most inspiring people have been born of hardships. I think it's a different outlook on life, purpose verses existence. I don't mean this in the way that greatness cannot be born without hardship nor do I mean I would ever purposefully set a child up for hardship but I have a hard time thinking that in an effort for perfection we may not be harming or all be it removing the great minds and great souls of our world.

There really is no reason to be sorry about it. I'm not. It's not a "woe is me" type thing, it just is what it is. This was the mental health hand I've been dealt, so I play it. However, it doesn't define me.

 

[AdrianneIsabel]

However, it doesn't define me.

That is why I do not believe it is reasonable to ask people to opt out of children because of an imperfection.

Can we make a list of greats of history and the present without some form of "imperfection". I believe this list would be short to none, the key point is they did/do not let it define them, nor consume them.

Again, there are extremes worth the disclaimer but in a general sense, I can't see "screening for defaults" being rational in breeding humans.

 

[Laurelin]

Personally, I don't want the responsibility of knowing I brought a kid in the world that would deal with depression, anxiety, PCOS, infertility, heart disease, diabetes, anemia...and who knows what else. I'd still love it, of course. Still try my best to make everything as perfect as possible. Know that it's a beautiful life, no matter what. But the idea of it makes me incredibly sad. Because it would be directly my fault, because *I* chose to give birth, no matter what, and that kid had no choice in any of it. They just have to deal and make the best out of it because it's life and everyone is supposed to love life no matter what, right?

Oh wow. Except for anemia, all those run in my family. I honestly doubt any family tree is without at least one of those disorders.

It's just silly to me to even begin to say 'Oh man, I could pass on my PCOS to my daughter so I shouldn't have kids.' It's not like PCOS is typically a debilitating disease. It sucks sometimes, there's some nasty increased chances of heart disease and diabetes and depression. and the infertility and then the physical issues. But come on... it sucks but it's a heck of a lot better than many diseases and disorders.

Every single person has setbacks and issues. Find me a perfect person and then we'll start to talk about how many issues you have to have before you shouldn't have kids.

 

[Lyzelle]

Oh wow. Except for anemia, all those run in my family. I honestly doubt any family tree is without at least one of those disorders.

It's just silly to me to even begin to say 'Oh man, I could pass on my PCOS to my daughter so I shouldn't have kids.' It's not like PCOS is typically a debilitating disease. It sucks sometimes, there's some nasty increased chances of heart disease and diabetes and depression. and the infertility and then the physical issues. But come on... it sucks but it's a heck of a lot better than many diseases and disorders.

Every single person has setbacks and issues. Find me a perfect person and then we'll start to talk about how many issues you have to have before you shouldn't have kids.

First of all, I said that. Not DogDragoness. Quoted wrong.

And my own reasons for not having kids are my own. You don't have to agree.

I LOVE how everyone in on a "You don't need reasons to have kids!" But whenever anyone explains their personal reasons for NOT wanting kids, "OMG SO INSULTING YOU WANT TO CONTROL EVERYTHING WE DO."

WTF?