What Do YOU Think?

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Southpaw

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I agree with M&M's Mommy. :)

I will wait until marriage, no matter how many people say it's "so hard" to do, I have self control and I'll feel proud of myself for sticking to it. And if a white wedding dress is supposed to symbolize virginity/purity...then I would feel weird wearing white on my wedding day if I wasn't a virgin.
 
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jess2416

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#122
Southpaw said:
I agree with M&M's Mommy. :)

I will wait until marriage, no matter how many people say it's "so hard" to do, I have self control and I'll feel proud of myself for sticking to it. And if a white wedding dress is supposed to symbolize virginity/purity...then I would feel weird wearing white on my wedding day if I wasn't a virgin.
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Thats what off-white / cream colors are for ;)
 
M&M's Mommy

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#127
Southpaw said:
I agree with M&M's Mommy. :)

I will wait until marriage, no matter how many people say it's "so hard" to do, I have self control and I'll feel proud of myself for sticking to it. And if a white wedding dress is supposed to symbolize virginity/purity...then I would feel weird wearing white on my wedding day if I wasn't a virgin.
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Oh my goodness, finally there is one that is in total agreement with me :). Thank you for saving yourself to your future husband! You should feel proud of yourself sticking to it :)

I dated my husband for almost 4 years before marrying him. Since I don't believe in divorce, I wanted to take all the time I could to make sure that HE was the one I wanted to be with for the rest of my life. Keeping ourselves from having sex before marriage was not an easy thing to do (specially when we loved each other as much as we did), there were lots of temptations, and trials, BUT, with a firm believe in chasity until marriage, determination, love, and respect for ourselves and each other. We did it. We kept ourselves pure until our marriage. It is probably one the best decisions we've made together..

Keep your chin up. There is absolutely nothing wrong with keeping yourself pure until marriage. Any man/boyfriend who says he loves you, but does not agree to let you do so are lying, and only looking for sex. He is not worth keeping.
 
Solace

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Ahh I tried but I just can't stay out of this one ;)

Jess, I agree with you! Dreeza, my dress will be white too! Actually I find it very pretty :D

I don't believe in god. I'm getting married because I've found the man I want to spend the rest of my life with, and I want the world to know he's MINE dammit! :D
 
M&M's Mommy

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Solace said:
I don't believe in god. I'm getting married because I've found the man I want to spend the rest of my life with, and I want the world to know he's MINE dammit! :D
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You don't have to believe in God to get married, and have your marriage validated. You just stated one of the very good reason to get married right there :):D
 
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And the tax breaks and health insurance are other good reasons ;)

Just kidding. I think that you shouldn't get married unless you love the other person.

I also want to get married to show the world that I love my fiancee, and to show that I want to spend the rest of my life with him :D
 
Dizzy

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What do I think? About sex you ask?

Well.

Here goes.

Firstly - while sex is NOT everything, it IS something. What percentage is entirely up to you.

I have had one night stands, I don't regret it, but I have made the decision that the next person I meet and like, is going to have to wait :)

Do what you please, don't rely on other people's judgements to make your OWN decisions. Just don't be a fool and risk everything for a quick shag - because there is no point.

Sex is a fun thing, and also a close and intimate thing.
 
bubbatd

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Interesting posts . And yes , with marriage failure at 50 % , I'd say that vows don't mean a dang thing today ..... and yes , to me there's a difference in having sex and making love to your one and only . If you love sex .....just think of your reputation and make sure you don't make babies . I'm bowing out of this one .
 
sparks19

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Well to be honest, I had sex before marriage..... A LOT. In fact too much. I was always "satisfied" with my sex life but it seemed it was nothing but a sex life.

Now that I am married and with someone that I truly love with every fiber of my being.... I TRULY wish I had waited.

Sex with someone I really didn't care that much about was terrible compared to being with my husband. it may sound cheesy but it's true. I am confident, sexual, uninhibited and clear minded when I am with my husband and it really made me realize how terrible the sex was before. Wondering if they liked the way I looked or if I was "good enough" for them. The relationships were PURELY based on physical needs and attraction.

Now that the sex is based on something much deeper and more meaningful it is better than I could have EVER imagined. I know he loved me before the sex and I ALWAYS know that he will love me after. It is simply amazing what a difference being with someone you love and trust with all your heart and soul can make.

it is personal choice but I would be sure I was doing it for the right reasons if I knew then what I know now.

Grammy, I couldn't agree more.

i used to be one of those people that thought marriage was just a piece of paper and that love was really a physical attraction. it is SO much more. it almost makes me sad to hear people say things like that because I find it really cheapens the image of marriage. Marriage is NOT just a piece of paper. it is a lifelong commitment (even though some people have decided to stomp all over that commitment because they wanted the tax breaks or whatever). if you think of it as just a piece of paper then YES your marriage is doomed to fail. I had only been with my husband for about a year when we got married but I KNEW he was the one and I still know he is the one. Everyday i am amazed that I found such a caring, loving, respectful, gracious, giving man to spend my life with. We have been through more hard times in our first year of marriage than most couples endure in their entire relationships. But we were ALWAYS there for each other no matter how stressful things were or how far apart we had to be. Marriage does not have to be religious. Marriage is a wonderful thing when it is entered into with someone you share a deep connection with. People take it for granted these days and that is very sad :(
 
Solace

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bubbatd said:
Interesting posts . And yes , with marriage failure at 50 % , I'd say that vows don't mean a dang thing today ..... and yes , to me there's a difference in having sex and making love to your one and only . If you love sex .....just think of your reputation and make sure you don't make babies . I'm bowing out of this one .
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No disrespect meant at all here.

I agree, some people take it too far. But if you're responsible and make smart decisions, there is nothing wrong with it. As far as reputation goes, I could really get into that (the wonderful double-standard between men and women when it comes to sex) but that's a different issue.
 
sparks19

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jess2416 said:
Why ????? you can have commitments with out that piece of paper...

But back to the original topic..

yep I like sex and its great, and no im not marrying anyone...and no Im not planning on having children....as yes I think having a "friend" is great, and I like having no strings attached sexual relationships...

Hooray for me, maybe I'll get some this weekend, or is it next weekend
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So what happens when you get old and nobody wants to sleep with you anymore? You will have NO ONE to lean on in your hard times, you will have NO ONE to support you and love you. You only have physical attraction. What happens when no one is physically attracted to you anymore? What will you do then? Go without? or find someone to love?

why the hostility towards marriage? bad experience? Or just never experienced anything but physical attraction?

I am not judging you but I used to be like you. I had that same attitude that you do. I didn't need anyone and never would. The truth is..... beauty fades. True love is forever.
 
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sparks19 said:
So what happens when you get old and nobody wants to sleep with you anymore? You will have NO ONE to lean on in your hard times, you will have NO ONE to support you and love you. You only have physical attraction. What happens when no one is physically attracted to you anymore? What will you do then? Go without? or find someone to love?
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Ok so you couldnt see the sarcasm in some of that :rolleyes: ....I dont NEED anyone to support me, never have, never will... I will always have people to lean on and people to love me regardless....so dont sit there and tell me I will have no one

why the hostility towards marriage? bad experience? Or just never experienced anything but physical attraction?
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It doesnt matter....

I am not judging you but I used to be like you. I had that same attitude that you do. I didn't need anyone and never would. The truth is..... beauty fades. True love is forever.
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What does beauty have to do with it.....?? trust me you were NEVER like me...


*So dont judge me when you really have no idea what goes on in MY private life*
 
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Dreeza

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sparks19 said:
it almost makes me sad to hear people say things like that because I find it really cheapens the image of marriage. Marriage is NOT just a piece of paper. it is a lifelong commitment (even though some people have decided to stomp all over that commitment because they wanted the tax breaks or whatever). if you think of it as just a piece of paper then YES your marriage is doomed to fail. ...

Marriage does not have to be religious. Marriage is a wonderful thing when it is entered into with someone you share a deep connection with. People take it for granted these days and that is very sad :(
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I just want to say that what i meant by agreeing that "marriage is just a piece of paper" is that getting married doesnt guarentee anything. I most likely will marry my bf, but even if we never got married, i would still be 100% committed to him for as long as i live...

does that make sense??

I definately agree that marriage has gone to crap, which is a HUGE part of the reason i view it as "just a piece of paper"

I am nevertheless excited to get married, cause i know when i do it will be to someone that i am commiting my life to :)
 
sparks19

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#138
jess2416 said:
Ok so you couldnt see the sarcasm in some of that :rolleyes: ....I dont NEED anyone to support me, never have, never will... I will always have people to lean on and people to love me regardless....so dont sit there and tell me I will have no one



It doesnt matter....



What does beauty have to do with it.....?? trust me you were NEVER like me...
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LOL your response tells me everything I need to know. You are hostile. You can deny it all you want but that "it doesn't matter" attitude says it all. You have no real response for me so you just blow it off. YES you will have family and friends but trust me it is not the same. Your post was angry and every post I have seen from you lately has been the same way.

I am not saying have someone to support you financially but eventually you will go through things in your life that you NEED support for. It will happen. No one can make it through their entire life without ANYONE. I had the same attitude that "marriage is just a piece of paper and it's all about sex" It is about SO much more than that.

In fact, I think you need someone now. In the past few months your posts have gotten more and more hostile and angry. You have avatars that says I **** people off deal with it. Your attitude has changed DRASTICALLY lately. No more happy go lucky Jess that you used to be.

No I don't KNOW you personally so don't pull that lame excuse on me. i KNOW your type and as much as you want to deny it I used to have the same attitude because I had a sister that showed no support and ACTED like she needed no support. Now she has alienated from her friends and most of her family. i would hate for that to happen to you because you have too much "pride" or too much "pain" to let anyone in. I have seen the damage that kind of attitude can do.
 
sparks19

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#139
Dreeza said:
I just want to say that what i meant by agreeing that "marriage is just a piece of paper" is that getting married doesnt guarentee anything. I most likely will marry my bf, but even if we never got married, i would still be 100% committed to him for as long as i live...

does that make sense??

I definately agree that marriage has gone to crap, which is a HUGE part of the reason i view it as "just a piece of paper"

I am nevertheless excited to get married, cause i know when i do it will be to someone that i am commiting my life to :)
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Don't get me wrong. Brian and I had sex before we got married. But I just wish that I had waited for him because nothing compares to it. But I am sure you understand that because you are in a similar situation.

I think that when it is RIGHT you just KNOW. It seems Cliche to say but it really is true. That is what happened with me and it seems that the same has happened to you :D

Your last sentence really sums up marriage. it is commiting your life, you are no longer living for yourself. You are living for both of you. Life is just not real life without that person. That person MAKES you whole, Makes you who you are. There is no better confidence in the world than knowing you have someone that will love you unconditionally no matter how terrible you look, no matter what embarrassing things you do, will tell you how beautiful you look even when they are holding your hair when you are throwing up LOL.

I wish you luck although I don't think you need it :D
 
B

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sparks19 said:
I think that when it is RIGHT you just KNOW. It seems Cliche to say but it really is true. That is what happened with me and it seems that the same has happened to you :D

Your last sentence really sums up marriage. it is commiting your life, you are no longer living for yourself. You are living for both of you. Life is just not real life without that person. That person MAKES you whole, Makes you who you are. There is no better confidence in the world than knowing you have someone that will love you unconditionally no matter how terrible you look, no matter what embarrassing things you do, will tell you how beautiful you look even when they are holding your hair when you are throwing up LOL.
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:hail:

Amen!

I don't need to depend on anyone.. but I love my husband dearly, he completes me. <3
 
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