All I can say is this....
Having a child changes EVERYTHING. The biggest lesson of all? You (yourself) is meaningless. I really weep at how many good people donn't want kids for such selfish reasons. Stop looking inside. Having Hannah made me a better man. It will make you a better person.
I look at you people who the first answer is about how it will "effect you 'plans'" and I LOL. The first step at real freedom? Have something bigger than yourself.
Since Hannah was born, my life has been better than ever. If only one could put something above themself.
Stop looking at how having a child effects YOU, look at how having a child effects OUR future.
We have had at this before. People who have a work ethic (I.E. produce tax $$$) need to pass it on. SOMEBODY needs to pay for all of this stuff.
Umm.. I beg your pardon?.. selfish?
Selfish because I want to live in the kind of world where I would want to raise a child in before I pop one out?
Selfish because I like myself and my life as it is?
Selfish because I want to live my life and enjoy it and be sure I want to child and am ready emotionally to deal with one and not just take out my resentment for my lost life on it? (and please don't tell me it doesn't happen. I've seen it. I've felt it. and it sucks)
Selfish because I fear the risks of pregnancy and child-birth?
Selfish because I don't want to run the risk of having a child and being a bad parent?
Selfish because I think I can contribute more to this world than popping out the next generation?
Sure, maybe Hannah did make you a better person. That does
not apply to everyone.
Take note of the entitled, stressed, over-worked, rude, pod people/crazy folk running around having nervous breakdowns or beating their kids to a pulp or dumping their kids at daycare/boarding school/with nannies 24 hours a day or even foster care because they simply cannot handle the stress or time or commitment for children
Take note of pod parents whose lives revolve around their children and who isolate themselves to the point of obsession and mental distress.
Take note of parents who have kids to please parents or society or to feel like they've done something with their lives (and what a laughable concept that is)
Did it make them better?
How do you think the kids feel about their parents having them to make themselves better people? or to change their lives? or just because?
Having a child so you can feel like a better person, because you want a lifestyle change or just so you can wear your superhero outfit and claim you are saving the world because you pro-created or because you think your DNA is that special that you need to pass it on MAKES ME WEEP.
I have plenty of things and plans bigger than myself.
I'm going to change the world for the better one day.
Who knows? Maybe I'll write a novel that inspires, maybe I'll find the cure for something, maybe I'll just be kind to everyone that I meet and inspire kindness in others, maybe I'll travel and give and help those who need it, who knows.
having a child is NOT a way to have plans bigger than yourself or to be a better person. Sure, sometimes it does work out that way..but it doesn't always and it sure as hell doesn't mean people that don't want one are selfish any more than it means that all parents are selfless good people.. HA!
Me not wanting to pop out a child is not about me being a selfish person.
It's about me not wanting one.
You want to be meaningless, that's just fine.
I don't.
I want my life to have meaning, to have purpose, I want to make the world better and kinder and cleaner and happier.. my life isn't meaningless. I'm not meaningless.
I CAN CHANGE and CREATE CHANGE. I don't need a child to hand it off to, I can keep myself and be part of it now.
My uterus is not my self worth and wether I want a child or not does not define how I see myself or how good of a person I am.
I plan on being the best person I can be.
and I think it's SELFISH to think that having a child will somehow make you better.
Having something doesn't make you anything.
Being a good person makes you better.
Being a kind person makes you better.
Being a smart person makes you better.
Being a compassionate person makes you better.
Being a passionate person makes you better.
BEING BEING BEING
Not having.
Not having a baby or a dog or a prius or a spaceshuttle.
Being a good parent does light the spark sometimes that leads to people being more compassionate, patient, kind.. but it sure as HELL doesn't do it all the time.
Having a child for any reason except wanting a child and wanting to be a parent.. is selfish.