not really trying to be rude, but what is your major malfunction with other women?? not all women are manipulative and use the poor man that is too dumb to realize it, but yet everytime a topic/question is posted about what men do or what women want either the man is dumbass and needs to be dumped or the woman is manipulative and needs to be hanged.
So, ladies...
- Thread starter RD
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As a woman, why would I approach a married man, and then initiate a "friendship" where only he and I went out and did things, all the while is SO/wife/whatever is constantly left sitting at home twiddling her thumbs. If I'm making the point to engage a married man in lunch/supper dates and other activities, without the addition of his SO/wife, then I'm looking for something, and I don't want his SO/wife in my way. JMO
Like I already said, a "How are you? How's the fam? Can you believe that numbnuts at work today?!" phone call is fine. Going as friends and coworkers to eat at the same place for lunch is fine. But to start phoning, texting, and inviting out for all other kinds of activities, while ignoring the SO/wife, that's crossing the line. Maybe the intentions are innocent. But I have a hard time believing it.
Like I already said, a "How are you? How's the fam? Can you believe that numbnuts at work today?!" phone call is fine. Going as friends and coworkers to eat at the same place for lunch is fine. But to start phoning, texting, and inviting out for all other kinds of activities, while ignoring the SO/wife, that's crossing the line. Maybe the intentions are innocent. But I have a hard time believing it.
do I have guy friends? yes. does my SO have female friends? yes. we both speak to them often and on the phone and in texts, I do agree that if he or I ever started spending more time with our friends than each other thats when it becomes a problem...
my SO spends all week with me, our weekends are ours to do with how we please, if we choose to spend it together fine, if not its no big deal, he takes care of "home" first and I trust him..
my SO spends all week with me, our weekends are ours to do with how we please, if we choose to spend it together fine, if not its no big deal, he takes care of "home" first and I trust him..
This is how I/my boyfriend feel as well. You put it nicely.
I'm sure sometimes the intentions are innocent. I haven't personally experienced this to be true, yet.
As for women mistrusting other women... it bothers me that the ill deeds of some women reflect so poorly on our entire gender. I've met some women (none on Chaz!) who literally say they HATE other women, all the while spouting off about how they believe in gender equality and gay rights and all that jazz.
I think I have a bigger problem with the "woman hating" women than I do with attention-seekers, although the two are often one and the same. I wouldn't say I trust women less than men. Safe to say I just don't trust people at all until I know them very well.
I'm sure sometimes the intentions are innocent. I haven't personally experienced this to be true, yet.
As for women mistrusting other women... it bothers me that the ill deeds of some women reflect so poorly on our entire gender. I've met some women (none on Chaz!) who literally say they HATE other women, all the while spouting off about how they believe in gender equality and gay rights and all that jazz.
I think I have a bigger problem with the "woman hating" women than I do with attention-seekers, although the two are often one and the same. I wouldn't say I trust women less than men. Safe to say I just don't trust people at all until I know them very well.
I have friends with husbands that I don't particularly like for various reasons. But I still make an effort to treat them politely, because I value the friendship I have. I would wonder why this woman doesn't value the friendship that she has with your SO enough to at least treat you politely. Perhaps she really does have designs on your SO. Perhaps something you did or said somehow offended her in some way (some people read between the lines when there are actually no lines to read between). You should ask your SO to talk to his friend privately face to face and ask her what is the purpose of her behavior. For example, he could say "We've noticed you don't seem to particularly like my SO. If there is something she did that offended you, I assure you it wasn't intentional. Is there anything you would like to tell me about, because we would really like it if we could all be friends. "
"If you trust your significant other, and other people are who you don't trust.. then what is the problem? They might try something and since you trust them to say no, they would, so..? My boyfriend is a good looking guy who is a hair stylist. He's around young girls all day who yammer about having crushes on him. Doesn't affect me one way or another.
I just figure I don't have to like my significant others friends and they don't have to like me. I'm an adult who isn't going to mix with EVERY body.
I just figure I don't have to like my significant others friends and they don't have to like me. I'm an adult who isn't going to mix with EVERY body.
Ehh, for me it is just a matter of not seeing any sense in borrowing trouble. I feel like at a certain level of seriousness in a relationship things change when it comes to the rules of friendships with the opposite sex. It's not like I monitor all Nate's interactions or he mine. He travels a lot for work, has attractive female coworkers, is in a band and frequently plays shows without me present and I don't think anything if it. Actually, it's not something that we have even sat down and discussed, just a kind of unspoken understanding we came to at some point.
And for the record, I don't hate women. I have, however, seen horrific enough behavior from fellow women to make me wary of someone who approaches a married man wanting to only be "friends" with him and not include his wife in their activities.
Bitches be crazy.
And for the record, I don't hate women. I have, however, seen horrific enough behavior from fellow women to make me wary of someone who approaches a married man wanting to only be "friends" with him and not include his wife in their activities.
Bitches be crazy.
This kind of comment has always baffled me. Are people worried about a woman "tripping" and falling onto their SO vagina first? Not being a smartass (well...maybe a little ) but really...it takes two to cheat. Even if a woman hypothetically showed interest, to insinuate that something would come of that means you think your SO would be convinced to cheat. If your SO is not interested in a romantic situation, chances are they're going to be annoyed if their friend hit on them. *shrug*
I don't hang out with my husband's friends. I don't dislike them..just have no interest. I'm not overly social, so I have very little interest in being chatty.
) but really...it takes two to cheat. Even if a woman hypothetically showed interest, to insinuate that something would come of that means you think your SO would be convinced to cheat. If your SO is not interested in a romantic situation, chances are they're going to be annoyed if their friend hit on them. *shrug*I don't hang out with my husband's friends. I don't dislike them..just have no interest. I'm not overly social, so I have very little interest in being chatty.
This kind of comment has always baffled me. Are people worried about a woman "tripping" and falling onto their SO vagina first? Not being a smartass (well...maybe a little ) but really...it takes two to cheat. Even if a woman hypothetically showed interest, to insinuate that something would come of that means you think your SO would be convinced to cheat. If your SO is not interested in a romantic situation, chances are they're going to be annoyed if their friend hit on them. *shrug*
I don't hang out with my husband's friends. I don't dislike them..just have no interest. I'm not overly social, so I have very little interest in being chatty.
) but really...it takes two to cheat. Even if a woman hypothetically showed interest, to insinuate that something would come of that means you think your SO would be convinced to cheat. If your SO is not interested in a romantic situation, chances are they're going to be annoyed if their friend hit on them. *shrug*I don't hang out with my husband's friends. I don't dislike them..just have no interest. I'm not overly social, so I have very little interest in being chatty.
Some behaviors are red flags for that sort of predator (and I do consider them a predator). Stuff like Miakoda pointed out, and there's no harm in being aware of what those are when making decisions about who to hang out with and who to cool it around.
My best friend in the whole wide world is a guy. We've grown up together and he's like a brother to me. He really hates my boyfriend but he's never been anything but polite to him anyway. In fact, my boyfriend doesn't even know that he hates him. If my boyfriend got jealous and made me choose between our relationship and my best friend (not that he EVER would), you can bet I'd choose my best friend in heartbeat.
However, if I had a newly formed friendship with a guy who really wanted to hang out with me all the time, KNOWING but not really caring that I had a boyfriend, I'd kind of question his motives. I'd be polite, but kind of non-receptive. And if he seemed to begrudge my boyfriend for no apparent reason I'd be put off the friendship. I kind of feel that there's a difference between new friendships and existing friendships when you're in a relationship. Maybe it's just me.
I trust my boyfriend completely. He has female friends and that's absolutely fine! No issues whatsoever. If one of his female friends didn't really want to get to know me, that's alright. But if she is straight up rude to me or seems to hate me for no good reason, that's when I'd have a bit of a problem and I'm sure my boyfriend would step in. We're very open with each other and we'd have a good talk about it.
If my boyfriend got jealous and made me choose between our relationship and my best friend (not that he EVER would), you can bet I'd choose my best friend in heartbeat.However, if I had a newly formed friendship with a guy who really wanted to hang out with me all the time, KNOWING but not really caring that I had a boyfriend, I'd kind of question his motives. I'd be polite, but kind of non-receptive. And if he seemed to begrudge my boyfriend for no apparent reason I'd be put off the friendship. I kind of feel that there's a difference between new friendships and existing friendships when you're in a relationship. Maybe it's just me.
I trust my boyfriend completely. He has female friends and that's absolutely fine! No issues whatsoever. If one of his female friends didn't really want to get to know me, that's alright. But if she is straight up rude to me or seems to hate me for no good reason, that's when I'd have a bit of a problem and I'm sure my boyfriend would step in. We're very open with each other and we'd have a good talk about it.
Yes, exactly. If it were a male friend of his who didn't like me, I wouldn't expect him to end the friendship. I don't like all of my friends' SOs, and a good chunk of my friends are guys. So I guess I just don't get dropping friends over this.
My perspective may be skewed, though. My BFF is a guy, we go out to coffee without our SOs once a week, and we've traveled together without our respective SOs. My husband goes out to lunch or dinner with former coworkers who are women from time to time, why in the world would I want to go along to sit around and listen to him talk shop with someone I barely even know?
My perspective may be skewed, though. My BFF is a guy, we go out to coffee without our SOs once a week, and we've traveled together without our respective SOs. My husband goes out to lunch or dinner with former coworkers who are women from time to time, why in the world would I want to go along to sit around and listen to him talk shop with someone I barely even know?
Chris does not have female friends and I do not have male friends. EVER.
WE do have aquantances of the opposite sex , but will never hang out alone with the opposite sex.
I am a jealous bitch who will do bodily harm to someone encroaching on my man.
He is my everything and the other half of my soul. I trust him with all my heart , but I know what a great catch he is and know others in our circle want him. (specifically baby mama's who realize what they screwed up)
He has been hurt so many times that he trusts me but thinks fate is going to make me fall in love with someone else. I know he gets jealous also. Good i say , then he will never take me for granted.
I have no desire to be friends with any one else but him actually . I had a close woman friend until she stabbed me so hard in the back it almost cost my family to much. I have tried cultivating other women friends , but really the bother is to much , with work and kids and homelife , I really only have time for him and them.
I dont miss it . I have all the friend I need.
Chris has 2 real friends , one lives with us and is our baby sitter , the other he works with.
Chris actually like's that Kerry (his friend that is nanning for us) and I dont like each other , We are coldly civil to each other and really dont talk . but he take good care of the kids while I am at work and It works fine.
wowo this turned long. lol
WE do have aquantances of the opposite sex , but will never hang out alone with the opposite sex.
I am a jealous bitch who will do bodily harm to someone encroaching on my man.
He is my everything and the other half of my soul. I trust him with all my heart , but I know what a great catch he is and know others in our circle want him. (specifically baby mama's who realize what they screwed up)
He has been hurt so many times that he trusts me but thinks fate is going to make me fall in love with someone else. I know he gets jealous also. Good i say , then he will never take me for granted.
I have no desire to be friends with any one else but him actually . I had a close woman friend until she stabbed me so hard in the back it almost cost my family to much. I have tried cultivating other women friends , but really the bother is to much , with work and kids and homelife , I really only have time for him and them.
I dont miss it . I have all the friend I need.
Chris has 2 real friends , one lives with us and is our baby sitter , the other he works with.
Chris actually like's that Kerry (his friend that is nanning for us) and I dont like each other , We are coldly civil to each other and really dont talk . but he take good care of the kids while I am at work and It works fine.
wowo this turned long. lol
This kind of comment has always baffled me. Are people worried about a woman "tripping" and falling onto their SO vagina first? Not being a smartass (well...maybe a little ) but really...it takes two to cheat. Even if a woman hypothetically showed interest, to insinuate that something would come of that means you think your SO would be convinced to cheat. If your SO is not interested in a romantic situation, chances are they're going to be annoyed if their friend hit on them. *shrug*
I don't hang out with my husband's friends. I don't dislike them..just have no interest. I'm not overly social, so I have very little interest in being chatty.
) but really...it takes two to cheat. Even if a woman hypothetically showed interest, to insinuate that something would come of that means you think your SO would be convinced to cheat. If your SO is not interested in a romantic situation, chances are they're going to be annoyed if their friend hit on them. *shrug*I don't hang out with my husband's friends. I don't dislike them..just have no interest. I'm not overly social, so I have very little interest in being chatty.
This really blows my mind.. not all women/men are like these wolves in sheeps clothing waiting to pounce
Especially just if the girl is ignoring you or giving you the cold shoulder.. it could be for any NUMBER of reasons. and if she isn't doing anything else other than not liking you, I really don't see the big deal. You deal with being ignored and a little cold shoulder attitude.. it's not the end of the world by any means.
It's RIDICULOUS to say "Oh I trust him/her 10000% but you know..women/men.. and affairs don't just happen and he/she could trick him!"
..last time I checked, it takes two to cheat and there is no amount of planning, trickery, or foul play that can "trick" anybody into cheating. If your SO cheats, it because he wanted to and made the DECISION to do so. not because anybody tricked him into doing it.
Last time I checked, we all know how sex works sooo regardless of any trickery, flirting or seduction, push comes to shove, HE/SHE DID IT BECAUSE THEY WANTED TO. We are not animals who can't control our sexual urges. We can say no, we can leave the situation, we can stop so short of actually being physical forced and raped.. cheating is 100% on your SO, not anybody else. Sorry, tough pancakes.
so if you really do trust your SO 1000%.. then you shouldn't be worried regardless of what everyone else is doing, even their friends of the opposite sex because you should know that regardless of any flirting or seducing or tricks, your SO is not some kind of animal who can't control themselves or their actions.
If you want to admit that you are a jealous individual that doesn't like your SO hanging around with people of the opposite sex or people you don't particularly like OR you admit you don't want other people talking about/seeing your SO our with someone else and stirring up drama.. fine. You have your reasons, at least you are being honest.
but let's cut the pancakes here. You can't 100% trust someone and also be worried about somebody else coming around and enticing them into an affair.
So even if you think this friend is "laying the groundwork" or "working their way in" or has an evil plan to destroy you as a couple, if you really trust your SO, you don't have a problem.
They might be able to trick him/her out to a restaurant, into their house, into the bedroom..
but NOBODY has ever tricked any adult in a relationship into having consensual sex without the person knowing what was going on or what they were doing :rofl1:
Especially just if the girl is ignoring you or giving you the cold shoulder.. it could be for any NUMBER of reasons. and if she isn't doing anything else other than not liking you, I really don't see the big deal. You deal with being ignored and a little cold shoulder attitude.. it's not the end of the world by any means.
It's RIDICULOUS to say "Oh I trust him/her 10000% but you know..women/men.. and affairs don't just happen and he/she could trick him!"
..last time I checked, it takes two to cheat and there is no amount of planning, trickery, or foul play that can "trick" anybody into cheating. If your SO cheats, it because he wanted to and made the DECISION to do so. not because anybody tricked him into doing it.
Last time I checked, we all know how sex works sooo regardless of any trickery, flirting or seduction, push comes to shove, HE/SHE DID IT BECAUSE THEY WANTED TO. We are not animals who can't control our sexual urges. We can say no, we can leave the situation, we can stop so short of actually being physical forced and raped.. cheating is 100% on your SO, not anybody else. Sorry, tough pancakes.
so if you really do trust your SO 1000%.. then you shouldn't be worried regardless of what everyone else is doing, even their friends of the opposite sex because you should know that regardless of any flirting or seducing or tricks, your SO is not some kind of animal who can't control themselves or their actions.
If you want to admit that you are a jealous individual that doesn't like your SO hanging around with people of the opposite sex or people you don't particularly like OR you admit you don't want other people talking about/seeing your SO our with someone else and stirring up drama.. fine. You have your reasons, at least you are being honest.
but let's cut the pancakes here. You can't 100% trust someone and also be worried about somebody else coming around and enticing them into an affair.
So even if you think this friend is "laying the groundwork" or "working their way in" or has an evil plan to destroy you as a couple, if you really trust your SO, you don't have a problem.
They might be able to trick him/her out to a restaurant, into their house, into the bedroom..
but NOBODY has ever tricked any adult in a relationship into having consensual sex without the person knowing what was going on or what they were doing :rofl1:
I'm so glad all our friends are mutual friends and I don't have to deal with any of that silliness lol. Really I'm sure that sounds like a horrible thing to others but I am very happy with it this way. We are a married couple and most of our friends are married couples and we hang out as couples and it's just nice and drama free and I'm so happy for that lol