Wow. And what a role model YOU are. Let's keep encouraging 16 year olds to go out and get pregnant. Because a 16 year old is mature enough to make life changing decisions that will not only impact their lives, but another life as well. A 16 year old was still considered a child THEMSELF last time I checked. You even mentioned that you and your mother had to struggle. Why PLAN a baby if you are going to have to struggle to provide for yourself and the child?! A baby needs a stable environment to grow up in.
You're also basically telling her to go on welfare and get help with things for a planned baby... which if you can't afford diapers and food, you should not be planning a baby.
You wound up pregnant at 18 years of age, and you said that because your mom bought you sex toys ( :yikes: ) that made you more responsible?! Ahhh... I really don't know what I can say to this.
And the average life expectancy was also like 40... so try again
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And bringing Nancy into the situation? Way to go completely off base. Nancy's daughter will be bringing a child into a STABLE home life, and will have a lot of help from LOVING grandparents. Which isn't the situation that the OP is in. And another member's life is quite frankly something that should not be brought into a thread which has nothing to do with her.
Your post infuriated me so much that I had to reply at 1:23am. Your advice is always so classy and helpful.
Very well said.
Puppylover--
It is very sad you had a friend instead of a mother growing up. As a parent you need to balance the two and things do happen but buying a young child sex toys is crossing the line.
You have horrible reasoning-none of it makes a bit of sense. All I can think is if you would have had time to mature maybe reasoning would have come into place.
Nancy did what she could and yes her daughter wound up pregnant. I bet she asks herself everyday if she should have been more lax or more controlling if things would have ended differently. But if she would have handed her daughter sex toys and oil she would have no doubt were the blame lies. She did what she knew to do and raising kids is a learning experience,she didn't fail yet
Exactly what kind of mother buys sex toys and "sexy clothing" for their young daughters?
My mom was always known as "the cool mom" letting me stay out late and stay at boys houses. But the difference was she taught me not to dress like a "sexy girl" and would never have bought me some sex toys. She never took me to bars or clubs. She was a mom first.
ya when i give advise on things, i give them BASED ON FACTS!! not fantasy!!!
you know reality check here, life DOES NOT END when you have a child. i was able to raise a child is the best thing in the world.. and another thing to everyone on here, just at what age do you think is mature enough? 30 40 50?? let me tell you something i have known people who are in there late 40's who have just had their first child and BOY OH BOY OH BOY talk about immature, they have little or no experiance with children, yet, some how they made it.
What facts have you made? A fact of what? You gave a opnion that a 16 year old should have hildren. that is NOT a fact. If it was then 16 year old children would be considered adults, they are not. They are considered children. If they get sick and need to miss a day at school. Their PARENTS need to call in for them. Not them, themselves.
If they get arrested , who do the polcie call. their parents. ect.
The huge difference between a 16 year old and a 40 year old having a child is massive. A 40 year old will have life experience, unlike a child, a 16 year old. We will take the averge 40 year old.
They live on their own, with our with out a SO. Pay their own bills. Have their own belongings, and probably moved out around 15-20 years before hand.
Now the averge 16 year old.
Lives at home. probably has no more then a bedroom to call their own. Pays no bills. Drives their parents car (If they have a license at that time). has a curfew. Is not allowed to stay out all not. Not allowed to make all their own decisions. ect.
A 16 year old does NOT understand the commitment and hard ships there is to being a parent. A 16 year old cares about a swet 16 party, driving a car, getting out of school and what boy that week to have a crush on.
No life does not end when becoming a parent. But it takes a 360 in what you are used to. You HAVE to change your whole life to accomadate another one.
if a 16 yr old can get a drivers license and a job at that age, then why can they NOT have children?? having a drivers license is a HUGE responsibility, you are not only taking your own life into this but MANY MANY millions of others, so what is the difference? if the state says you are 'responsible enough' to drive a vehicle on the roads for god's sake, then, at the same time you should be responsible enough to have children...
cars are not children. You cant even put the 2 together. Cars dont need 24/7/56/365 looking after. If you put a car away ina garage or parked ona road at night it doesnt matter to that car. It wont honk for you ar 3am to change its oil of fix its seat belt.
Its like saying kids and dogs are the same. They are not, but for god sake they are alot closer then cars.
when did have my child i did the same things, when i went to the movies i took my son, when i went out to dinner i took my son, when went to a game or the mall i TOOK MY SON, gee i see a pattern here I TOOK MY SON EVERYWHERE I WENT!!! all of you that had kids young were just not wanting the excitement and feeling of raising a child, when i went on trips i TOOK my son! he was rarely left at a babysitter's home, the only time i had to was when i took a test at the college, H@LL i even took my son to court when i filed for divorce!
you all seem to think that life comes to a hault well, it does not, and so what if i am supporting teens who want to get preggers and have children, who are YOU to say if they are ready or NOT? who are you to say they are not mature enough to have a child? if they are ready then LET THEM BE!
Offcourse you took your soon. that is what you have to do. as a baby need consitent care and and watching. A 16 year old will not understand that. They want to go to the next football game or dance.
I know SO MANY girls my age who had children at young ages from some at 13 (then she had her 2nd at 16) a bunch at the 15-17 age range and some from 17+ (One just had a baby boy onthe 13th of this month. She is 23 thought so alot older then a 16 year old so to say). have these girls made it? offcourse they are still alive and have their babies. Do they struggle? 110% every single one except for about 2 or 3 of them struggle VERY hard. WHy? becuase at a young age they thought a baby was what they wanted and they thought they could handle it. Well if they just waitied a few years life would have been a bit easier.
To tell a child of 16 to get pregnant is just luidacris and very ILL parenting in my opnion. What will you tell your soon if in a year he comes home with a girl and wants to have a baby with ehr? He says he understands every thing that is needed to raise a child. Then what? Throught a party for him and help him with planning this prgnancy? Yout o me need alot of growing up aswell. Act more like a rolemodel then the other. Telling children to get knocked up is just crazy and very poor teaching and parenting.