Do you believe in spanking kids?

[Squishy22]

Whats your opinion on this?

I do not agree with it. I don't believe in causing physical pain to a child because they did something wrong. I think there are better ways of correcting a child. Taking away privileges and time-out works just as well or even better. Consequences for actions are a must, but not physical pain.

With that said... I have never raised a child in my life. I am pregnant with my first one. So I don't have any experience with correcting children. I just think there are better ways of going about it. My fiance disagrees with me, so this could present a problem. We were both spanked as kids. He was even spanked at school which I even disagree with more. NOBODY should be able to put their hands on someone else's child!

If its so wrong to strike a dog, then why is it ok to strike a child? I disagree with both.

All opinions welcomed!!

 

[Melissa_W]

I have never raised a child before, but I don't plan to spank my child if/when I have one. I don't believe in teaching children to resort to violence. There are better ways to deal with problems. I was never hit one time growing up, and I turned out just fine.

 

[Buckshot]

I have seen several of my family raised without spanking at all and I must say I prefer the company of the kids who have been or at least think they could be if they got too out of line. I think kids need to know whos boss, without question, if that can be done without getting physical or at least the posture of getting physical, more power to you. I think a kid like me needed it, a kid like MelissaW, probably didnt.

 

[verderben]

I have no problem with spanking if it is deserved. I was spanked as a child but only if I was REALLY bad. And I tell ya what I never did whatever it was again. I wish nowadays more people WOULD spank thier kids because too many of them are totally out of control.

 

[GlassOnion]

I think it's OK as long as you're doing it to discipline the child and not take out your frustration on the child about the thing they did wrong.

It's a fine line, indeed. But I don't believe that an extraneous instrument should be used, just hands. NO belts, boards, or whatever.

My parents disciplined me with spanking. It was a HELL of a lot more incentive to be good than losing privileges. I could live without TV, radio, Nintendo, etc. They would have to take away everything out of my room to be very effective at disciplining that way and I think that would be even less humane than a spanking would be. Kid just sitting in an empty room all the time? Reminds me of those people who kept the girl strapped to a chair.

But spanking, yah I agree with it. My parents raised me and my sister that way and we turned out alright IMO. But a spanking from my parents was tame compared to a spanking from my grandparents. My grandfather would make us go out and pick our own switch (yah he used a branch) and if we didn't pick a decently sized branch the first time he'd select it himself. You did NOT want to get in trouble at his house.

But it worked and I don't fault him for it. I'd never do that to my kids but it's how my mother and her brothers were disciplined all the time.

 

[Buckshot]

You mentioned dogs in the post and they use intimidation and controlled violence to get the desired effect from their pups.

 

[Purdue#1]

i believe in spanking children. some kids in my school should have been spanked long ago. They have no respect for authority.

now some kids, all you have to do is warn them about what they are doing is wrong and they won't do it again. Others need to be shown that what you say goes.

 

[GlassOnion]

By the by I thought I'd throw this in. My sister is a teacher and says it's really hard to discipline a child now a days because if you tell them to stand in the corner or whatever, they just cut up. What do you do at that point? Send them to the principals office. But then it's just free time outside of the class room. They don't care if their parents get contacted because it's the same punishment at home. Stand in the corner, lose a 'privilege', whatever. It's not a very effective punishment. The kids that DO listen are those that get spanked and genuinely act good because they know the consequences.

 

[~Jessie~]

No, I do not believe in spanking. I would never spank my children, nor have I been spanked. My fiancee has never been spanked either. We wouldn't ever use force on our children.

 

[Xerxes]

You mentioned dogs in the post and they use intimidation and controlled violence to get the desired effect from their pups.

I don't mean to derail the thread-I've never seen a dam use either on her pups. I've seen them end playtime, ignore and use body language to get their point across.

I don't believe in spanking children.

 

[Purdue#1]

i can't remember who told me this but one time his dad had him go pick his switch and well, to be stupid, he picked a rose bush stem, you know with the thorns. His dad asked if he was sure that was his switch and he said yes thinking his dad wouldn't use it on him. Well he was wrong.LOL!!

but in all honesty i think some kids should be spanked. They are out of control, disobeying laws, having no respect for teachers, peers, and parents.

 

[Dekka]

I have spanked my child, then felt bad about it afterwards. I think it has taught him hitting people is ok (only spanked him a couple of times) He hits kids (he's 6) but would never hit a dog...interesting.

Now as a kid, I couldn't care less if I got spanked, but don't take my riding lessons away :yikes:

 

[bubbatd]

I was spanked as a child and the principal of our school could " strap " kids . believe me there weren't many !! That put the fear of God in us . Yes, I spanked my kids . Never out of frustration as I sent them to their rooms to " reflect " and for me to cool down . Therefore , they were of reasoning age . When a child doesn't know right from wrong .... spanking ,times out . etc don't work . A baby hurting a puppy or a puppy hurting a baby needs time to understand . And yes , since a dog doesn't understand " reasoning " I would never spank a dog .

 

[puppylover2007]

here is my two cents, i am a mother to a 13 yr old son, and i have never ever spanked him in his life.. the way i see it is you get a spanking it stings for about what 3 seconds??? then you go back to what you are doing like it never happened.. but, if you use the taking away priveleges.. case in point,

ahhh, my son, (who was 11 at the time )to this day still remembers not being able to go tot scout camp, he was out past curfew by 3 hours, ya i know BAD BAD!!.. so, we decided to take scout camp away, well, the 2 weeks following scout camp all the boys got together to talk about how much fun they had all had and Brady ( who is my son) was present, was like "mom, i felt sad, well, guess what since then he has NEVER missed curfew! Not once. and he is now 13, so, spanking NO, taking priveleges away leaves a lasting impression..

but, that is just my 2 cents.

 

[daaqa]

i believe in spanking children, if necessary. and the countless unspanked children that have crossed my path continue to confirm this. and ive met many wonderful teens/adults who were spanked and have no emotional scarring from it. some have even said that without it, they would have gone wild.

i also think that many people who spank, go overboard. it's all about not letting it become an emotional outlet for anger at the child. it should be reserved for the last.

i have to disagree with the hand-only statement. i was always taught that hands are for loving - not hitting. a properly used swatting implement is more effective [less emotional, not abusive] in the right hands. having a designated "paddle" tends to also make it an intentional punishment, rather than an angry reaction.

 

[GlassOnion]

He hits kids (he's 6) but would never hit a dog...interesting.

No offense but did you ever teach him that hitting is wrong? My father always told me again and again to never start a fight. The only time it was OK to hit someone was in self defense and it better be hard at that point in the game.

 

[Purdue#1]

By the by I thought I'd throw this in. My sister is a teacher and says it's really hard to discipline a child now a days because if you tell them to stand in the corner or whatever, they just cut up. What do you do at that point? Send them to the principals office. But then it's just free time outside of the class room. They don't care if their parents get contacted because it's the same punishment at home. Stand in the corner, lose a 'privilege', whatever. It's not a very effective punishment. The kids that DO listen are those that get spanked and genuinely act good because they know the consequences.

exactly. What does a suspension get you? OSS. Free time to play games and sleep in. I always thought it was stupid to expel someone. That's what they want make them come to school and sit in a room with no friends, no free time, just work. Make them go to lunch after everyone else is done. Some parents don't care if their kid gets into trouble. With these kids there is no fine line as to what is going to have a consequence. The parents are not consistent in consequences. whith children that are spanked there is a fine line. They know not to cross it.

 

[Dekka]

Oh he 'knows' hitting is wrong. I have told him many times. But if hitting is wrong, even when the other kid runs off with your toy, why is it ok for Mom to hit you?

 

[daaqa]

also, i think it depends on the child. my brother could withstand any number of privileges being taken away, he adapted far too well. it took a good swat to get his attention, nothing less. my sister, on the other hand, only took a stern look and she was in tears. i could also withstand having privileges taken away, i had a vivid imagination and only WISHED i could be sent to my room. i worked best with positive reenforcement.

 

[GlassOnion]

But if hitting is wrong, even when the other kid runs off with your toy, why is it ok for Mom to hit you?

Because mom is the authority figure in the relationship and has that ability. You're not on equal footing with your mom where as you are on equal footing with the kid. Does he hit you? Probably not.

Whenever someone stole my toy I'd go over and say maybe we could play with it together or something. Or I'd go and get an adult (yah, tattling, but it was my toy **** it!). If they ever got physical with it I'd just beat them and take my toy back. But only if they started it. That's the only time it was OK.