Do you believe in spanking kids?

[lilprairiemutt]

My kids get spanked depending on the offense. I never do it in anger and always tall them exactly why they are being spanked. I beleive the punishment should fit the crime. Whining will end them up in the corner. Messing with a plug in will get them a good spanking. Much better to get spanked than electrocuted. Also, if it is an offense they they have already stood in the corner for a couple of times, and they do it again, then they get spanked because obvioulsy standing in the corner didn't make a big enough impression. Being mean to the animals also got them a spankin when they were younger. My kid do not think its okay to hit, they have a great deal of empathy for those around them and can be trusted with newborn kittens. Lying is another thing that will get them a spanking because I destest lying. They have learned that the punishment will not be as bad if they tell me the truth.

 

[mrose_s]

I don't have an issue with it if its done properly. Like as a kid if I did something REALLY bad like hit my sister I got smacked. But it was like the end all consequence, if that happened it really ment we didn't do it again. I don't agree with people doing it so often their child actually beocmes desensitized to it so you have to progressivly hit them harder and harder.

i have a friend who's almost 18 and his dad still flogs him, but its more punching then smacking by this time. And for absolutley stupid things like moving his dads swag to get his shoes.


I think the difference between hitting dogs and smacking kids is that dogs are humans are different, we can easily explain to a child what they did wrong, a dog, not so much.

I was in the supermarket a while ago and hear a mother "shelly... come here, please coem here. 1.... 2....3!... shelly please come back" WTF?? My mother got to 2 and I was doing as I was told!

 

[Purdue#1]

I was in the supermarket a while ago and hear a mother "shelly... come here, please coem here. 1.... 2....3!... shelly please come back" WTF?? My mother got to 2 and I was doing as I was told!

Bet you werehaulin' @$$ to get back to your mom wern't you?!:lol-sign:

All my mom had to do when i was little was give her look to you and you straightened right up.

 

[Squishy22]

Because mom is the authority figure in the relationship and has that ability. You're not on equal footing with your mom where as you are on equal footing with the kid. Does he hit you? Probably not.

Whenever someone stole my toy I'd go over and say maybe we could play with it together or something. Or I'd go and get an adult (yah, tattling, but it was my toy **** it!). If they ever got physical with it I'd just beat them and take my toy back. But only if they started it. That's the only time it was OK.

I dont think a young child is going to understand that. I was spanked as a child and I was known to hit other children that took my toys. I think violence teaches violence.

Another example... my parents would strike their dog to correct bad behaviors, so when I got little older I did the same thing because I thought that was the right thing to do to correct a human or a dog.

I was spanked up until I was 14 and then started lashing out and refusing spankings. If you hit a dog, what are they going to do? Bite back sooner or later.

 

[Squishy22]

I think the difference between hitting dogs and smacking kids is that dogs are humans are different, we can easily explain to a child what they did wrong, a dog, not so much.

But your still teaching both that they better not do something unwanted or they will have to suffer pain.

 

[Squishy22]

I was in the supermarket a while ago and hear a mother "shelly... come here, please coem here. 1.... 2....3!... shelly please come back" WTF?? My mother got to 2 and I was doing as I was told!

The problem with that is a lot of parents dont follow through with consequence. the child knows they are going to get away with it without consequence whether its a spanking, time-out, a grounding, or a privilege taken away.

The child should be thinking... "well I better get my a$$ over there or I am going to be standing in front of a wall for an hour when I get home!!" just as much as a child thinking... "well, I better get over there or my butt is gonna be whooped".

 

[Renee750il]

It depends on the kid.

My mother never did learn that it didn't do anything but p1ss me off. Not even when - at around 7 or 8 years old - when she started with the spanking bit in the midst of an argument, I threw it out to her that I didn't care if she hit me, that I wished she would because that meant I was right and she was wrong. She didn't have a good argument so she has to resort to getting her way by being a bully.

Man . . . did I ever get an ass-whuppin for that, lol! Worth every welt, too.

Don't you hope you never have a kid like me, lol?

 

[GlassOnion]

Yah but that's the thing. Standing in front of the wall for an hour isn't a big punishment. You can amuse yourself in various ways, or even go to sleep if need be. A spanking is just pain, you can't really remove yourself from that punishment.

I dont think a young child is going to understand that. I was spanked as a child and I was known to hit other children that took my toys. I think violence teaches violence.

I disagree. I understood it was wrong to hit people when I was young. It just simply wasn't the way things were done in normal circumstances, only as a punishment that authority figures could do. I don't think I ever hit anyone aside from my sister (and who hasn't hit a sibling?) when I was younger and only a couple of times when I was older (but again, only because they took the first swing). I don't think violence teaches violence, it teaches manners and how to act. Something a lot of kids could do with now a days. Notice the lack of corporal punishment and the growing numbers of ill behaved kids? I don't think it's a coincidence.

 

[Samantha's pet]

I cant believe some of you think it's ok to spank a child but are so against spaking your dog. I love my dog more than anything but my future child will mean more to me than my dog. I think my child will deserve at least equal treatment to my dog. I am against either. I have never had a child of my own but I used to work at a daycare and I have been a nanny for a few years now I am also an early childhood education major. I was also spanked as a child and it did not work. I prefered spaking to punishment b/c it was over in a sec but taking privledges away hurt way more. I don't think you should hit your children. If I can get a room of 12 3 yr olds to mind w/ no problem by using time out I dont see myself having any problem controling my own child. I must agree that positive reinforcement is the best way to condition behavior in animals and children alike. It is not difficult at all in my experience to get children to mind without physical violence. Even the really, really terrible ones.

The main thing is to ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS follow through w/ a threat and give them rewards. It's not all about punishment. Congratulate them randomly when they are good and give them treats. You can come up w/ a reward system like schools do. (if you are on the good color so many days a week you get to go to the treasure box, etc.)

 

[lilprairiemutt]

Well, look at it this way, children of 40's,50's,60's and such were spanked and they were far better behaved than today's generations and seem to have a far greater understanding of whats right and wrong(including violence to others) than the kids today. And its the kids of today who raised with it suddenly being so horrible to spank your kids.

 

[ACooper]

Well I guess I will throw my opinion into the mix, LOL

As the oldest of five kids, now a mom & stepmom of 5 children AND someone who worked and also volunteered in our elementary school I feel I have been around/in charge of PLENTY of children.

I DO think a swat on the fanny works for some kids.......and doesn't work for others. It's all about what is important to the child, and how the punishments are handled.

Out of our 5, there are 3 that benefit from losing priveleges and 2 that benefit MORE from a swat when the offense warrants.

Honestly my husband is the master of inventive punishments. Example: Our oldest girl (then 10 now almost 16) had a very bad habit of stomping when she was angry........I mean stomping to the point of rattling dishes. My husband had talked to her, warned her, then made her stand in one spot for 10 whole minutes stomping her feet. Now 10 minutes may not sound long, but believe me when he was there MAKING her stomp as hard as she could, it was LONG! She has NEVER stomped through the house again since!

He tried the same punishment on our other girl like a year later.....ya, that didn't do it. She had to lose the TV for a week after several warnings. The TV is her extreme punishment.

Our 11 year old boy Corey can lose any privelege under the sun and will just fill it with something else. Take away electronics he will play legos. Take away his bike, he will skate.......so unless we make him stay in his bed for a whole week with NO contact, punishments are USELESS. Now a swat on the fanny works for him.......he dreads that more than anything we could throw at him.

So just like any other thing in the world, children are different and should be treated so. Just because they are related and live in the same house does not make one size fits all punishments...........

Know your child and know what works for them.......some children THRIVE with positive reinforcements.

Also, I agree with Grammy. Dogs do not reason like we do so hitting a dog cannot be compared to swatting a child.

 

[Samantha's pet]

In my experience it just doesnt work AS WELL as other formsof conditioning just like it doesnt work w/ dogs.

 

[Purdue#1]

i believe in correcting a dog. Its no different in my eyes. Children are more precious. if children are corrected than so are dogs.

 

[Renee750il]

Well I guess I will throw my opinion into the mix, LOL

As the oldest of five kids, now a mom & stepmom of 5 children AND someone who worked and also volunteered in our elementary school I feel I have been around/in charge of PLENTY of children.

I DO think a swat on the fanny works for some kids.......and doesn't work for others. It's all about what is important to the child, and how the punishments are handled.

Out of our 5, there are 3 that benefit from losing priveleges and 2 that benefit MORE from a swat when the offense warrants.

Honestly my husband is the master of inventive punishments. Example: Our oldest girl (then 10 now almost 16) had a very bad habit of stomping when she was angry........I mean stomping to the point of rattling dishes. My husband had talked to her, warned her, then made her stand in one spot for 10 whole minutes stomping her feet. Now 10 minutes may not sound long, but believe me when he was there MAKING her stomp as hard as she could, it was LONG! She has NEVER stomped through the house again since!

He tried the same punishment on our other girl like a year later.....ya, that didn't do it. She had to lose the TV for a week after several warnings. The TV is her extreme punishment.

Our 11 year old boy Corey can lose any privelege under the sun and will just fill it with something else. Take away electronics he will play legos. Take away his bike, he will skate.......so unless we make him stay in his bed for a whole week with NO contact, punishments are USELESS. Now a swat on the fanny works for him.......he dreads that more than anything we could throw at him.

So just like any other thing in the world, children are different and should be treated so. Just because they are related and live in the same house does not make one size fits all punishments...........

Exactly, Coop! Good post! Lucky kids

 

[Squishy22]

Yah but that's the thing. Standing in front of the wall for an hour isn't a big punishment. You can amuse yourself in various ways, or even go to sleep if need be. A spanking is just pain, you can't really remove yourself from that punishment.



I disagree. I understood it was wrong to hit people when I was young. It just simply wasn't the way things were done in normal circumstances, only as a punishment that authority figures could do. I don't think I ever hit anyone aside from my sister (and who hasn't hit a sibling?) when I was younger and only a couple of times when I was older (but again, only because they took the first swing). I don't think violence teaches violence, it teaches manners and how to act. Something a lot of kids could do with now a days. Notice the lack of corporal punishment and the growing numbers of ill behaved kids? I don't think it's a coincidence.

I was spanked AND put in the corner. I hated them both equally. I was not allowed to amuse myself, and if I did then I was kept there even longer. And I was put in what was called "army style" if I messed around while in the corner. "Army style" is where I had to take 3 steps back from the wall and support myself with my hands on the wall. Sometimes I was there for hours. Believe me... I took that punishment very seriously. I HATED it.

I believe the number of ill behaved kids comes from lack of consistency with punishment whatever the punishment may be.

 

[Samantha's pet]

Well, look at it this way, children of 40's,50's,60's and such were spanked and they were far better behaved than today's generations and seem to have a far greater understanding of whats right and wrong(including violence to others) than the kids today. And its the kids of today who raised with it suddenly being so horrible to spank your kids.

Thats b/c of the lack of good parenting. A lot of people who dont believe in spaking dont really discipline their kids at all. I dont think it's the lack of spaking I think its the lack of discipline all together. I just dont see why you would want to raise your hand and hit your own flesh and blood child that you birthed. Not when there are other means that are far less cruel. Being in the childcare profession this is something I just feel strongly about. If your parenting skills are lacking so that causing your child physical pain is the only way you can get you child to mind then I guess you gotta do what you gotta do but there are more effective ways. I will treat my child with at least the same respect and kindness my dog gets. (hopefully more)

 

[smkie]

Never

 

[GlassOnion]

I don't mean amuse yourself with like toys or playing with your hands or anything. I meant like retreating from the situation mentally. If I was ever punished by standing in the corner I would just pretend I was some place else. No movement required, parents would never know and if they did, what could they do about it? Punish me for using my imagination? An hour later I was free to go. Man, what a punishment!

But like I said, you can't (or I never found a way) remove yourself from the punishment of pain.

 

[Samantha's pet]

I disagree that hitting dogs and children is different. I have seen many dogs that were spanked or hit and they learn and they learn quickly. They do understand. Do I agree w/ that? Of course not but they do understand. It isnt wrong b/c they dont understand it's wrong b/c they are defenseless and they didnt choose for you to raise them or cause them pain. That is why it is wrong to spank a child. If someone doesnt want you to assault them and cause them physical pain it is a huge infringement on their rights to do so anyway. Especially someone such as a dog or child w/ no other options but to endure it and not fight back.

 

[zoe08]

Well, look at it this way, children of 40's,50's,60's and such were spanked and they were far better behaved than today's generations and seem to have a far greater understanding of whats right and wrong(including violence to others) than the kids today. And its the kids of today who raised with it suddenly being so horrible to spank your kids.

This is completely true. Everything now is wrong. And kids behave so much worse. I worked in a portrait studio, and the parents try to get their kids to sit still by saying oh we will go get ice cream, we will go to sonic if you hold still. HA HA. NEVER worked. Not ONE time did I ever see that work.

A really good song to listen to is a Different World by Bucky Covington
"We were born to mothers who smoked and drank
Our cribs were covered in lead-based paint
No childproof lids
No seatbelts in cars
Rode bikes with no helmets
and still here we are
Still here we are

We got daddy's belt when we misbehaved
Had three TV channels you got up to change
No video games and no satellite
All we had were friends and they were outside
Playing outside

It was a different life
When we were boys and girls
Not just a different time
It was a different world

School always started the same everyday
the pledge of allegiance, then someone would pray
not every kid made the team when they tried
We got disappointed but that was alright

We turned out alright

It was a different life
When we were boys and girls
Not just a different time
It was a different world

No bottled water
We'd drink from a garden hose
And every Sunday,
All the stores were closed.

It was a different life
When we were boys and girls
Not just a different time
It was a different world

It was a different life
When we were boys and girls
Not just a different time
It was a different world

It was a different world"