Could you date/marry/be with someone who was...
- Thread starter Paige
- Start date
I really don't see what the big deal is. I honestly wouldn't have any issues with dating a guy who is bisexual.
If you trust the person (which is important in any relationship regardless of sexual orientation), you'll know that they want to be with you. I guess I just don't see what the big deal would be.
If you trust the person (which is important in any relationship regardless of sexual orientation), you'll know that they want to be with you. I guess I just don't see what the big deal would be.
i wanted to make a comment on this particularly first.
JUST because a female is bisexual it does NOT mean in any way shape or form that a man can feel his has the rights an abilities to bring his "other woman" home with him simply because "it must be ok my girl/wife is bisexual.
OPEN relationships as behaviour like that is, has STRICT groundrules on ALL partners parts. if his girl is ok wiht it then great go them, but to essentilaly see it as a fre pass to "safely cheat" is NOT ok.
as another note, bisexuality to me is attraction, personally i prefer the opposite gender, however in the right situation, or with the right woman i would potentially persue a relationship with either sex. i enoy the intimicy with both and find either fulfilling in their own ways...
i have also DONE the 3some thing...before my pervious bf id slept only with girls, he came along, fun times and i wondered...it didnt go well..i was ok, but he didnt obey the preset groundules and pushed both mine and our partners boundries..he thought..."my girls said ok i can do whatever" and it doesnt work like that...there are rules.
Because i couldnt chock it up to simple bad experience myself and my current bf were involved in another one...all parties were aware of the rules...
unfortunatly im prone to bad experiences and she decided she was "in love" with my bf and my personal issues shut the proect of having another out, 2 bad experinces...im ot built for an "open" relationship, i dont like the jealousy that arrises form my own self esteem issues.
my bf knows im bisexual, and he loves me for me...my sexuality doesnt define me...and he KNOWS that ust because im into girls on occasion, does NOT mean he has the right to bring other girls home or cheat on me...
not all bisexual relationships mean "OPEN" relationships. we are a monogomous commited couple and have been for a long time...he has made it very clear he enjoys 3somes...but if im not emotioanlly capable of handling another body of intimicy in our relationship he doesnt NEED that...
on the flip side, ive dted bisexual guys, same goes for them, just cause their bi does not mean they need a male and female partner at the same time.
commitment and love is just that...no matter what sexuality you are!
Anyone that I would have ever dated.. I would need to know at least certain things about their past. I don't need to know the details, who, when, etc. But I do need to know if they've been active, tested for STDs, and emotionally what is there. I can't say that I would have never dated someone that wasn't completely inexperienced, but I can say that I AM very glad to have found Dustin. There IS something special about being each others' first kisses, first hands held, first relationships.... each others' firsts, and last. 
And it has never been about religion for me, as I was an athiest when we met, and we obviously didn't commit to all the traditional standards that some christians hold(waiting until legal marriage),... for me, it has always been more about just a smart, responsible relationship that would head in the direction of marriage from the very beginning.
So I know for me.. as awful as it may be, there ARE things I would have always had to know before a relationship got too far or too involved, and in fact knew about Dustin long before we made the decision to finally date each other(well, as I've already pointed out, there wasn't much to know)
And to whoever commented on the commitment issue.. I'm 100% aware that anyone of any sexuality can be committed and faithful in a relationship. I did say that in the post to refute even what my own experiences have been.
And it has never been about religion for me, as I was an athiest when we met, and we obviously didn't commit to all the traditional standards that some christians hold(waiting until legal marriage),... for me, it has always been more about just a smart, responsible relationship that would head in the direction of marriage from the very beginning.So I know for me.. as awful as it may be, there ARE things I would have always had to know before a relationship got too far or too involved, and in fact knew about Dustin long before we made the decision to finally date each other(well, as I've already pointed out, there wasn't much to know
)And to whoever commented on the commitment issue.. I'm 100% aware that anyone of any sexuality can be committed and faithful in a relationship. I did say that in the post to refute even what my own experiences have been.
http://www.chazhound.com/forums/showthread.php?t=45034&highlight=Sex+before+marrige
http://www.chazhound.com/forums/showthread.php?t=59074&highlight=Sex+before+marriage&page=4
T
Indeed.. seems as of late a certain other poster has more of this to do than myself. Nit picking through posts, finding every possible chance to find some way to bring up old grudges, and continually personally attacking... and then, to waste time searching through threads over TWO years ago. Indeed, most of us at some point grow up and learn to act as decent people, but certainly not all.
/end off topic
Foxywench, I completely understand what you are saying. and do in part agree with many statements in your post. This is why after I stated my experience with that bisexual friend (who's husband ended up leaving her for the girlfriend), that I stated this:
Of course, I'm not suggesting that all bisexuals aren't faithful to their partner. Not at all.
And even later said to clarify:
I'm 100% aware that anyone of any sexuality can be committed and faithful in a relationship. I did say that in the original post to refute even what my own experiences with friends have been.
My twin sister believes she is bisexual, but she certainly isn't the type to have two partners at once. When she finally finds someone, either female or male, she will be 100% comitted to him or her. I never once suggested that no one of bisexual sexuality could not be faithful in a relationship, but instead clearly stated the opposite. However, it always will be my own personal opinion, that when a third party is added, the faithfulness and commitment is long gone, as I view commitment and love between just two people whether they are gay, straight or bisexual. JMO.
/end off topic
Foxywench, I completely understand what you are saying.
and do in part agree with many statements in your post. This is why after I stated my experience with that bisexual friend (who's husband ended up leaving her for the girlfriend), that I stated this:Of course, I'm not suggesting that all bisexuals aren't faithful to their partner. Not at all.
And even later said to clarify:
I'm 100% aware that anyone of any sexuality can be committed and faithful in a relationship. I did say that in the original post to refute even what my own experiences with friends have been.
My twin sister believes she is bisexual, but she certainly isn't the type to have two partners at once. When she finally finds someone, either female or male, she will be 100% comitted to him or her. I never once suggested that no one of bisexual sexuality could not be faithful in a relationship, but instead clearly stated the opposite.
However, it always will be my own personal opinion, that when a third party is added, the faithfulness and commitment is long gone, as I view commitment and love between just two people whether they are gay, straight or bisexual. JMO.- Joined
- Dec 26, 2005
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Indeed.. seems as of late a certain other poster has more of this to do than myself. Nit picking through posts, finding every possible chance to find some way to bring up old grudges, and continually personally attacking... and then, to waste time searching through threads over TWO years ago. Indeed, most of us at some point grow up and learn to act as decent people, but certainly not all.
/end off topic
/end off topic
Not everything written to you should be taken in such a negative fashion. There are several ways you could have taken her comment and while it does not surprise me that you felt you had to jump up and defend yourself, I do think it would be wise to take a deep breath and chew your thoughts before replying.
We can't change our past, but we can certainly learn and grow from it. If you are indeed the changed person you say you are (are you? I bet you're wondering as much as some of us are
) then you probably should have realized by now that not everyone is ever going to agree on any of the same topics.. whether it be dog training, keeping cats outdoors, going to the doctor, etc., etc., etc.. And you'll also realize that as time goes by, we may often change our opinions on things and that's okay... as long as you believe and stand by your convictions, it doesn't matter what anyone else says. Sure, people are going to disagree, it's our nature! But it doesn't mean that every time someone disagrees (or that every time someone shows you have your opinion has changed) the world is coming to an end. So with that said, take things with a grain of salt. This is the internet after all and it's hard to know how people may mean some things to come across. So read posts and take a deep breath and if you're reading in the heat of the moment and you're already upset- simply walk away. I'm sure it was some fancy person who said that our actions that speak louder than words and I think I can stretch that far enough to cover reactions as well.
Tessa, you asked me to remind you about this the day you did not wait until marriage. You said that day would never come. So I have now reminded you.
I hope you learn from the experience and no longer simply blind out the views and opinions of others.
You have never been in another mans stall until you have shoveled his manure. Now take this as a very harsh life lesson and realise you are not immune to critisism or failiure.
I hope you learn from the experience and no longer simply blind out the views and opinions of others.
You have never been in another mans stall until you have shoveled his manure. Now take this as a very harsh life lesson and realise you are not immune to critisism or failiure.
T
I will no longer be responding to personal attacks or posts that personally direct me in this thread, because this post is about a general curiosity, and was going quite well until just one off topic, personally directed post.. so I hope it continues in that direction. If you reaaaallly feel the need to personally direct me, please do so through PM so as to not derail this thread further.
If you reaaaallly feel the need to personally direct me, please do so through PM so as to not derail this thread further.
I will no longer be responding to posts that start with "I will no longer be responding to" and I am also refraining from entering forthwith unto exchanges were whom the words 'squidge', 'monkey', 'focaccia', 'hula' or 'incognito' might be used, in a manner of communication, including and not excluding sign, spoken or typed words, whereby which the communicator is being, upon scrutiny, personal or even slightly over familar with oneself and ones alter-ego 'egg sandwich man'.
As from this moment forth.
As from this moment forth.
Kinda hard to discern in typing sometimes, and I could be wrong, but I think there was a note of sarcasm in Kenyi's post
not if you find the right people...
and thats mostly what peoples problems are, they jump into these types of relationships not thinking and just think that everything will be hunky dory without even talking to the other parties involved FIRST.....
IF you find the right people, and talk about things and are 100% honest with people about WHAT you want and what you expect, and they are on the same page you are those types of relationships can happen and can be very healthy, but to find people like that, its rare...
and thats mostly what peoples problems are, they jump into these types of relationships not thinking and just think that everything will be hunky dory without even talking to the other parties involved FIRST.....
IF you find the right people, and talk about things and are 100% honest with people about WHAT you want and what you expect, and they are on the same page you are those types of relationships can happen and can be very healthy, but to find people like that, its rare...
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S
The only reason why I would not date a bisexual man is because I would be afraid that he is actually gay and hasnt come out of the closet. I've heard too many horror stories. Men who marry women... have kids and then decide they are gay and get a divorce because they want to be with another man, not a woman. But then again, you dont control who you fall in love with, it just happens.
As far as threesomes come, I am open to trying it some day. Either with another woman or another man or even a 4some if we meet the right couple. I think it depends on the people involved. Some women I take an instant dislike too and there are some women I like right off the bat.
As far as threesomes come, I am open to trying it some day. Either with another woman or another man or even a 4some if we meet the right couple. I think it depends on the people involved. Some women I take an instant dislike too and there are some women I like right off the bat.