Chaz Moms and Moms-to-Be Chat (everyone welcome)

sparks19 · Jun 3, 2014

See I'm the opposite. I had no "outside" life until after Hannah was born. It was so hard to make friends in this area and being a mom made it a thousand times easier. I joined a mom's group which helped me meet other moms and then became close friends with a small group of them and that led to other opportunities to socialize and get together outside of group events and even without the kids lol. all under the guise of "it's so the kids can socialize" :rofl1: but really it's for us moms.

Then when we joined the homeschool co op... my social life blew up lol

and then we joined a church recommended by a friend from the mom's group and it got even better.

Dizzy · Jun 3, 2014

I will probably give up my job. I commute an hour to work (100 miles a day). It's just not practical at all. Plus I've always said I want to just be a mum if I have kids. We just need to chat to the accountant!!! We are very fortunate that we have no major outgoings. I may look for a more local part time job when baby is old enough for nursery. But not before 2 I don't think. Slightly undecided at the moment. I would probably have to return to work for 3 months if I take maternity leave, and I'm worried if that would affect breast feeding (which I want to do as long as possible), so lots to consider.....

Greenmagick · Jun 3, 2014

~Jessie~ said:

Just want to say....for me this was not true. Now, I LOVE being a SAHM and actually that was a reason that drove me wanting to have children, being able to stay at home. I did NOT love my job beforehand so I didnt miss it, but I did still have a hard time adjusting to being a SAHM. There are no breaks and it can be hard if you are not a person who really enjoys taking care of others. Hell, being a mom in general is hard. A working mom is hard, a SAHM is hard...its all hard lol. But its ok to NOT be super happy to be at home if that makes sense? I definitely missed even the job I hated at times, or more I missed the "time off" from being at a baby's beck and call. I just reminded myself over and over that they grow,....and they did

I am just not a baby person. I also had two high needs babies so that didnt help the situation

While I love being at home with my children, I never really felt like oh my children make everything else ok. I am just not that...motherly maybe? Not everyone feels that way, that being a mom is their new identity and thats it and thats ok too.

However, I counteracted this by yes, making a lot of new mom friends, doing playdates, meeting my dh (with the children) for lunch, etc.

And wow, that is really disjointed and confusing now that I am rereading it....but maybe my point still comes across lol. Its been a long hot day and I am tired so bleh, leaving it as is for now.

sparks19 · Jun 3, 2014

Greenmagick is right. When I first had Hannah I didn't have a drivers license and I was stuck in te house all the time. I put on a ton of weight and knew no one. I wouldn't have enjoyed working instead LOL but not having the ability to leave the house was hard. But once you find ways to get out with other moms
Or friends
Or wvwn meet hubby for lunch it makes a huge difference

for me.. I got my license, we got me a vehicle and it changed my life and honestly it made me a better mother because I started taking my needs into account also while taking care of the baby. YOUR needs matter too

milos_mommy · Jun 3, 2014

I'm currently a SAHM (well I do work part time on weekends but I don't really count that). I LOVE it. However, the first year had ups and downs and was at times, lonely, and I do sometimes miss working (ok, a lot, but I'd miss not working more if I was working, lol).

It's reallllly easy to meet other moms once you get past the newborn stage. But, tbh, I don't really like them. And I've met probably 2 dozen and became "close" with a handful. All they talk about is their babies!! I say they're boring, but what I mean is I can't meet other moms that are relatable or share my interests. Luckily I can still see quite a few of my pre-baby friends though, and we're still close although we spend much less time together.

I'm going back to school in September, so Lillian will be in day care. But we're also trying for another baby, so honestly I'm not sure I will end up with my master's and pursuing a career. I'm not sure I'm totally comfortable with the idea of resigning myself to be a SAHM long term, even though I absolutely love doing it now.

ThatCrazyGroomer · Jun 3, 2014

I stayed home with Winnie for eighteen months... I was miserable the whole time and just wanted to go back to work. We're expecting (due January 1) and I'm only planning to stay home the requisite six weeks and I'll be back in the salon. It's not that I didn't love being home with Winnie, it was just that even with school I wanted more than just to be home with her.

CaliTerp07 · Jun 4, 2014

I was itching to go back to work after my 6 week leave. I was so bored! To be honest, I'm kind of dreading this summer at home. I think (hope?) it will be better as he grows up, but I am so not a baby person.

You have to know yourself. There was definitely disappoinent from my in laws that I wasnt going to be a sahm, but it's just not for me. I would be unhappy, and that would translate to my kid as well.

Dizzy · Jun 4, 2014

Here you're entitled to 12 months leave so you have lots of time to decide! 6 weeks is so short!!

Our situation is very different. OH works from home and his job isn't Mon-Fri 9-5. So he's around a lot. Plus his parents live practically next door. Its not like I'd be alone all day with a baby. I'm also keen to do lots of groups and visit people!

It won't be the stir crazy inducing loneliness many mums report! I'm also not naive enough to think it will be a walk in the park lol. My biggest anxiety is actually giving up my independence. Losing my wage is huge to me. Huuuuuge. Which is why I won't not work forever. But I certainly am not tempted to continue with my current career...

~Jessie~ · Jun 4, 2014

sparks19 said:

I definitely plan on meeting hubby for lunch about once a week. He works ~25 minutes from home, but if he were closer we'd meet more often. We actually work together now, so it's just very easy to leave for lunch together!

I plan on joining some groups once Nora is old enough. We also have some amazing parks around here so it will be nice to pack her up and go for a couple of hours. We live in an area with tons of things to do fortunately!

I'm very blessed that we make enough money to not have to make a big lifestyle change. We'll be able to take a big trip every year which would've been a hard thing for me to give up. I'm very excited to be at home- it's what I've wanted and I feel like I am going to love it.

~Jessie~ · Jun 4, 2014

Dizzy said:

Here you're entitled to 12 months leave so you have lots of time to decide! 6 weeks is so short!!

Our situation is very different. OH works from home and his job isn't Mon-Fri 9-5. So he's around a lot. Plus his parents live practically next door. Its not like I'd be alone all day with a baby. I'm also keen to do lots of groups and visit people!

It won't be the stir crazy inducing loneliness many mums report! I'm also not naive enough to think it will be a walk in the park lol. My biggest anxiety is actually giving up my independence. Losing my wage is huge to me. Huuuuuge. Which is why I won't not work forever. But I certainly am not tempted to continue with my current career...

The maternity leave period in the US is terrible... I honestly couldn't imagine leaving my 6 week old baby in daycare. A year at home is much more reasonable.

Taqroy · Jun 4, 2014

ThatCrazyGroomer said:

I stayed home with Winnie for eighteen months... I was miserable the whole time and just wanted to go back to work. We're expecting (due January 1) and I'm only planning to stay home the requisite six weeks and I'll be back in the salon. It's not that I didn't love being home with Winnie, it was just that even with school I wanted more than just to be home with her.

WHAT! Congrats!! I'm super excited for you.

FG167 · Jun 4, 2014

I have absolutely no desire to be a sahm, but also, we could not afford it. We have some big things, huge changes, that we are considering so that may be a moot point anyway.

sparks19 · Jun 4, 2014

~Jessie~ said:

yeah, now that hubby works SO far from home (an hour and fifteen minutes one way) we don't get to meet him for lunch anymore BUT he does get to work from home two days a week now so that's a nice compromise lol.

It seems to be feast or famine around here as far as getting out of the house. When she was an infant and I didn't have a license or a vehicle I never left the house. Now I'm practically begging for a day at home lol. We are ALWAYS on the go somewhere BUT I am glad that we can get all our stuff done during the day so that evenings are spent at home with hubby as a family and not running from one social engagement or sport or lesson to another all night. Once I'm home I like to STAY home lol.

Thankfully Brian has a good job and provides more than enough for us. We have to make some sacrifices of course. Our house is small but it's easily within our means and we have to be mindful about purchases but we can also go out for lunch or dinner without breaking the bank and we can take our Disney vacation each year.

The dynamic if we are able to have a baby will be interesting to get used to but we'll make it work

I'm thinking I'm going to have to go with a wrap of some kind so I can do a lot of baby wearing (which I didn't really do with Hannah much) so that we can keep up with our schedule lol especially from September to May

Taqroy · Jun 4, 2014

I want to work part time and be at home part time. I think that would be perfect for me. Unfortunately, daycare costs destroy that little fantasy.

milos_mommy · Jun 4, 2014

Yeah, the other day Shane was talking about how it'd be perfect if we could "share" a job...like have the same skill set and whatnot and I could go to work for him once or twice a week. Lol, we can dream!

I really, really don't know what the future holds. Originally I vaguely planned to finish school by the time Lil was four, find a job, put like two years in, and have another with a big gap when she was 6ish.

Now having a family with close in age kids seems important, and I love being home with her and would hate to miss that with future kidlets. But I can't imagine giving up my career dreams, and I'm not positive we can afford for me to take my sweet time with school if it also means day care. We're leaning heavily towards more kids, but I'm ok with money being tight and making sacrifices. If we can only afford a camping vacation and my kids share a room, I'm fine with it, but I'm not sure I'll be ok with not having the money for horseback riding lessons or whatever.

Grown up decisions are hard.

Dizzy · Jun 5, 2014

I'm 12 weeks today

this may change Monday when I have my dating scan, but is right according to my last scan! Massive milestone! Been listening to the heartbeat, which is amazing! It's getting proper active though, as I'm finding it moves about more in there when I listen. Actually, it has been super active at all of my scans, so I think it may just be a wriggler!

milos_mommy · Jun 5, 2014

Good luck, Dizzy! Lil was a wriggler in utero and now she doesn't stop moving til she falls asleep. She's a runner, a climber, escape artist, into EVERYTHING, and I'm perpetually chasing her, except when she's napping and I'm mentally preparing for the next round.

Dizzy · Jun 5, 2014

Ha well knowing my oh it wouldn't surprise me. He never stops either! So if its anything like him it wont either! Fred will love it. Bodhi on the other hand is going to want to send it back where it came from.

Jules · Jun 7, 2014

Two more sleeps, Dizzy!!!

I

Dizzy · Jun 8, 2014

Jules said:

One more sleep!!!!

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