*Sigh*
We always have to do this don't we? I guess I could just ignore the threads...however I need to put in my two cents.
#1. Puck, I'm right there with Gus.
#2. I was on the pill when I was first married almost 8 years ago. Within the first year I developed a HUGE blood clot, much of which broke off, split into uncountable little pieces and went into my lungs. I nearly died. I was blue, with a O2 sat of 80, sometimes less.
I was healthy, young (I was admitted to the hospital the week of my 20th birthday, some birthday present
) and fairly active. I didn't smoke. I had not medical history that would point to it. The ONLY factor I had was the birth control.
BE CAREFUL! PLEASE! Even eating too much spinach can cause a problem with your clotting factors if you're on the pill/hormones. Riding in a car or plane for long distances doubly so.
I haven't been on bc since. We used condoms until we figured out that for all of our bother I was frickin' infertile anyway.
My doctor finally did an ablation 2 years ago because despite not being able to get pregnant, I was still bleeding 3 months in a row, losing a lot of blood. He tied my tubes while he was in there too, after making me sign paperwork stating that I wouldn't hold him liable if I could never procreate
As for the children issue. I was in the boat for a loooong time that said "No way am I going to put THESE genes into another living being" . I didn't want kids for some of the reasons Puck said. Now I wish desperately for that cooing little baby. I'll never have one that looks just like me (I wouldn't have anyway) but I wish I could.
Now our dream is to open a foster home for kids who need it: older kids, disabled, anyone really. For some reason I have this dream where I'm holding a little mexican boy named Miguel and he's calling me Mama . I want it to be real so badly.
I'm fulfilling dreams now, getting my degree in psychology, helping Tim get his in Engineering (duel major) . We travel as much as we can, we're remolding a house, we have three, soon to be four dogs, we're involved in all sorts of fun things. It still feels empty without a little person to share it with. Kids don't mean the end of your life! I can't wait to teach my little boy how to ride his first mountain bike down a mountain through the mud! I can't wait to take him rock climbing, and watch him climb higher than I can! I can't WAIT to hear him call me mom, and call Tim daddy. There is so much advantage to being a parent. It is so worth it. If you don't want to birth the kids, why not help those that are already here, but unwanted?
There is great value to raising up future leaders who love the earth and the creatures that inhabit it. It IS selfish to not invest in anyone or anything besides yourself. Don't kid yourself if you think it isn't.