The Moron's Rules of Breed ID

1) If it has a broad head and a short muzzle, its a pitbull
2) If its brindle, it's a pit bull
3) If its black and tan, its a 'Rockwilder'
4) If it has a short coat and doesn't have floppy ears, its a pit bull
5) All dogs weigh two to four times what is physically possible considering their appearent volume, so make sure you double to quadruple their weight. For example, pit bulls,
despite all evidence to the contrary, actually weigh over 100 lbs.
6) If its white and fluffy, its a poodle
7) If its brown and has prick ears, its a German Shepherd
8) If its any other color and has prick ears, its a wolf
9) If it has long, pretty yellow fur, its a golden retriever, and you should feel free to walk up to it without warning and pound it on the head
10) It is brown and white, shaggy and has a long pointy nose, its Lassie, and you should throw your kids in the well so she can rescue them . . .

I'm sure you all can add more . . .

You forgot...short, tight coat, prick ears and very alert...no matter what the color...it's obviously a Doberman. (not to be confused with the Doberman Pinscher...which is an entirely separate breed!)

Its its black its a lab....

If it has short legs, its one of those 'weiner dogs'

If it's fuzzy, it's a poodle. Of course it will weigh less than 10 lbs grown, despite the fact that it weights 8 at 10 weeks.
If it's big and fuzzy, it's a chow. No matter what color it is.
If it has a stub tail, it's a boxer mix
If it has blue eyes, it's a husky. Or a Wolf.
If it has cropped ears, it's a pitbull
If it has a curly tail, it's a chow.

If it has purple on its tongue, its a chow.

If its under 6 pounds, its a chihuahua.

If it looks like a rat, its a chihuahua.

If its taller than 29 inches, its a great dane.

If its white, stocky, with short fur, its an american bull dog.

If its short, fat, and has bowed out legs, its a pittie.

If its yellow, its a lab.

If it's a mixed breed, it's a Lab and/or Shepherd mix. (Come on people, have you seen Petfinder? EVERYTHING is a Lab or Shepherd mix... Where on earth are all these Labs and Shepherds that are breeding?!)

If it's small and Black and Tan, it's a Doberman Pinscher. The miniature one.

If it bit somebody, it's a Pit Bull.

If it is muscular, it's a Pit Bull.

If it's a Dogo Argentino, American Bulldog, Bull Terrier, Boxer mix, Cane Corso, Mastiff mix, or unidentified breed, it's a Pit Bull.

If it is an orange and white pit like dog with big ears, then it is obviously an Ibizan hound- so long as it has a red nose.

If it's a GSD cross with big ears that is somewhat slender... it's either a pharaoh or a beezer.

Heck, if it is remotely skinny and has remotely large prick ears, it's a pharaoh or beezer!

If it's black and had pricky ears it's got to be a Doberman.

If it's got wrinkles it's a Shar Pei mix.

If it's small and has white on it, it must be a Jack Russell.

If it's under ten pounds, it must be friendly..... Over ten pounds, it's vicious and ought to be banned. (Hey that one 'rule' could sum up bred identification altogether )

If it is brown and has floppy ears, it is a beagle.

If it has any spots, freckles, dots etc, it is definately a Dalmatian mix.

if it has a deep chest, its a whippet (mac gets that one ALL the time)

lol Some of these are hilarious!

If it is long and wide mostly white with short thick legs it is a JRT. But if it is a breedstandard JRT..if it has a rough coat its a westie cross. If it has no hair its a fox terrier..or if it has spots-see Hillsides post

Or it's a Beagle mix. I rarely see a dog in a local shelter that's not listed as one of those three mixes.

If it's small and fuzzy, it's a poodle. If it's larger and fuzzy, it's a chow. If it's medium/small and fuzzy, it's a chow and poodle cross.

If it's small, it's either a puppy or a chihuahua.

If its black and white, its a border collie.

If its red and white, its a Brittany, no matter that the dog is really a red MERLE aussie.

ROFL! That is TOO funny!

How about, if it's a mixed breed over 30 pounds and you aren't sure of its parentage, it's a Pit Mix.

If it's black with tan points, it's either a doberman or rottweiler.

I can't tell you how many completely purebred black and tan coonhounds I've seen listed as "doberman mixes" or "rotteweiler mixes". I mean, people, the description is IN THE NAME!!! Black and tan! Black and tan! How hard is this?!?

Also, if it's white with tricolor spots, it's a beagle. Even if it's 26 inches at the whithers (which of course would be a Walker hound).