Child Care

I think the better way to go is to underline the importance of responsible sex (since you'll never be able to control all the teens not to have sex).
And I also think people should wait to get married and start a family. It's crazy to me how it is totally acceptable for 18 year olds to get married and start a family nowadays. Go to college and get a head start. There's nothing wrong with having a baby with 25-30 when you have a cushion and can afford to stay at home for the first 2 years.

" the best form of birth control - working in childcare " *rofl*

I agree I've done the math. Some children are with us way more than they are with their parents, because on weekends I baby-sit, too.

I wish it weren't so, but it is. And I feel it is more than "just a job" to ensure that each child is cared for, feels comfortable, trusts me and my care of them, and generally has the best possible care in their "home away from home" as is (sadly) may be.
If all of the parents decided to quit tomorrow and be stay at home parents I wouldn't be offended at all... I would be worried about some of the kids, however
sometimes day care is the only stability in a childs life

Sad thing is I know a family that adopted a new born . He was in day care at 8 weeks .

That is horrible... I know a girl who is 18 and has a 1 year old, and her child has been in daycare since she was 6 weeks old... 40 hours a week.

I will be $100,000+ in debt when I get done with school. I will never have a cushion. Does this mean I will never be able to support kids?

I have so many thoughts on this issue I don't know how to collect them.

First of all, the issue of socialization is a huge factor in today's society. Whether or not you believe in a 50s style family is irrelavant. We don't live in a 50s style world anymore. Everything is fast paced and kids grow up a lot faster. They see the world through tv and get so much stimuli they HAVE to learn how to deal with it. My parents are both teachers and my dad has his doctorate in education with his major in early childhood development. This is the kind of stuff I grew up with. Not only that but I see it in my work all the time as I cover education in schools for the paper. I attend all kinds of seminars and meetings and many, many times the issues of bullying and other problematic behaviour stems back to children who were not socialized before they started school. We get authors, motivational speakers and other professionals who come in and do seminars. Parents will come and ask about their children and problems they are having. Many of them can be solved by socializing them before they go to school.

However, socializing does not mean taking your kids and dropping them off at daycare for 8+ hours a day. There are mom and tots playgroup classes that parents can attend and I've seen babies younger than 6 months at these. There moms are still there and the kids lay on mats and watch other kids play. They see their moms socializing and they see the kids socializing. Most of these kids will spend a couple days a week at the playgroup until they start school and it's an excellent start for them.

I know for me, I don't want a stranger raising my kids. I never have. I want to be able to give my kids the best start in life possible and know they are getting what they need. When I went to Chile I found myself in a culture where all middle and upper class families have nannies to raise their children. Most of them live the home and take care of the kids as well as the house and meals. It was a whole new world to me and it took me a long time to wrap my mind around the concept. One family I stayed with had a relationship that was more like a friendship. The mom hung out the kids and adored them and really didn't do much with them at all. I still don't agree with it but for them it worked. Did they turn out ok? Yeah, as did most of the families in Chile.

I have to say that I find turning the issue of parenting into a feminist issue is a bit silly. Nobody is saying women don't have the right to work. It's all about choices and circumstances. Most women realize that they have the right to work and that it's a choice on whether or not they want to. The whole feminist card makes me want to scream IT's NOT THE 60s ANYMORE EITHER!!! lol

Anyway those are a few of my thoughts.

:yikes: I honestly didnt even know that was allowed...

I mean, arent DOGS supposed to stay with their mothers till 6 weeks?? or is it 8??

Sheesh...that is just terrible.

And like Jules said...responsible sex REALLY, REALLY needs to be taught. When will people get it through their heads that teaching abstinence is NOT the way to go...

I was taught abstinence only, and i come from a very educated background...i am embarrassed to say that my bf had to clue me into some things....things i definately should have known, but didnt, cause my school never taught me. Luckily i believed in being in love before having sex, and also lucky my bf is very responsible!!

In my speech class, a woman (who taught daycare) gave a speech about safe sex. Anyway, she stated this bizzare fact that the average age for oral sex is 8... and the average age for sex is like 12. She said that she has found kids in the play tunnels doing "stuff" together, because their "mommy and daddy" do it at home in front of them.

A lot of the people putting their kids in daycare are the ones that wait til they are 25-30 to have kids. Many of them are well into their career by then. If they quit to take care of thier kids for 5 years, they would loose their positions, or have to start back over at the bottom, or find a job elsewhere in maybe a job that wasn't as good. It's easier to stay home when you haven't already established a good career.

:yikes:

It's sad, but very true. Babies usually start daycare at the tender age of 6 weeks.

the center I work at starts at 6wks. And people call wanting care for younger
more common than you think! the trick is to supervise the kids so they don't do these things, and then mention it to the parents so they squirm and see what they're doing to they're poor children !

So .... when do kids today get the message that teenage sex is NOT Right !! Too many ( even here ) think it's a natural ,normal thing to do . Yes, the feelings are normal and sex is natural , but the consequences can be over whelming to all ! Babies suffer, parents suffer and families suffer. To me , a couple are married and established before even the thoughts of children . If a "Whoops " happens , hopefully they are truly dedicated to each other and willing to marry and commit their lives to their child . Yes, I had premarital sex at 19 to my soon to be husband . He was my first . Had we had an " accident " we would have managed . Luckily we did start our family until 5 years later . We were wayyyyyyyyyyy too young !

I personally think the ideal would be having a parent stay at home and attend play dates with their kids, but I know that there are many people that don't have that option. Daycare is the next best thing, and personally I think at home daycare is the best. In my town there is a daycare center and I've heard a lot of horror stories from it. Also, people really need to do their research when it comes to daycare and the people they're leaving their kids with. My mom has been a daycare provider ever since I was a kid so I had a working mom with the benifits of a stay at home mom. The woman has the patience of a saint with little kids. They all love her and will often cry when their parents come because they "want to stay at Judy's house!", lol.

I wish that people were given longer maturnity leaves so they could spend more time with they're kids bonding for both parents. Business today just doesn't seem to support people who want to have families, a lot of times they are punished. I think that's incredibly sad.

Grammy, I really couldn't agree with what you have to say more. This is what kids of today NEED to hear. If they choose to listen is their deal, but it needs to be said.

I think the problem I have with all the meaningless, non-committed sex is that it causes suffering, particularly to babies and children. Children need stability and even though it's the norm today to divorce and fulfill your own needs, it doesn't take away from the fact that kids need a family and in all the midst of all the mess that their parents create they are left behind. People re-marry, have children with different people, kids live a week here, a week there. It's just really sad!

This I do totally agree with.

I completely agree Grammy and Showpug! I am a teen...I am going to wait to have sex when I am married...that is just the right thing to do...I really do not like all these things you hear about teens having sex and then getting preggie... It is just NOT right...that is some thing that is to be saved for marrige....not for teens to have when ever they want!

AGREED!

I was one of those kids who spent a lot of time in daycare and with day babysitters/in-home daycare before that. There was not other option. My dad was in law school at the time, so either my mom worked or we didn't eat or have a roof over our heads. By the time my second brother came along, I was in school, but still had to go to daycare before and after until my parents felt I was old enough to be a responsible latch-key kid. Dad had a job by then, but with law school loans it was still "Mom works or we don't eat."

I hated daycare. I hated most of my babysitters. Unfortunetly, we couldn't afford "the good ones" (I was forced to watch Mickie Mouse movies when I would have rather read books or been outside), but I most definietly did get good quality time with my parents at home. I had home cooked meals 7 nights a week; fast food was a very rare treat. I was reading 2nd grade level by age 4. I was not the trouble-maker type. So no, I did not have the "ideal" childhood, but I still turnd out pretty nicely I think. If I have my way though, I will not be putting my kids in daycare until they are much older and then only for a few hours. I do not want to have to pry my child's fingers off of the back of the seat to get them to go inside.

But I also hope to have a career that allows me to dictate my own schedual and not have to make a concrete choice between working and raising whatever children I might have. The jury is still out on that decision.

I've talked to my mom about having to put us in daycare and she said it broke her heart to have to do so, but there was just no alternative.

On the flip side, my friend's 3 year old LOVES going to preschool and daycare and gets sad when she has to stay home all day long. She is lucky though, and is in a "good" one.

Attachment parenting? Please educate me.

I do not believe that a 6 week baby should be in daycare, that is just not acceptable to me. But, again, different strokes for those different situations...

Nobody is saying that anyone has to take their child to daycare for 5 days/week, 8 hours/day.... but what about two or three times a week for three hours? There is NOTHING wrong with that! In fact, I applaud those that can let go of their children long enough to do so.

I think toddler age is a perfect age for getting out and having new experiences. And while you will not see a toddler involved in play other than parallel play, it's a great place to start.


Bonding with the mother and father is very important and parents who ship their children off to daycare at 6 weeks, well, i don't have much to say about them.

But the first three years of a child's life is very important and those three years should not be spent solely with the parents. Kindergarten is not what it used to be anymore, children who do not attend preschool are not prepared, it isn't like it used to be, sadly.

I see where you are going with this. I have to put my two cents in. As a stay at home mom I do see a lot of advantages but I know my kids will be going into something at age 3 where they will be around other children their own age. Kids need to be around kids of their own age and it's hard for me to set up playdates with kids that are my children's age so I think getting kids involved in some program (there is a momy and me class that is set up to start soon me and Emily will be going to) where they are around other children is a great idea.