Birth Control, what do you use?
- Thread starter Paige
- Start date
*Sigh*
We always have to do this don't we? I guess I could just ignore the threads...however I need to put in my two cents.
#1. Puck, I'm right there with Gus.
#2. I was on the pill when I was first married almost 8 years ago. Within the first year I developed a HUGE blood clot, much of which broke off, split into uncountable little pieces and went into my lungs. I nearly died. I was blue, with a O2 sat of 80, sometimes less.
I was healthy, young (I was admitted to the hospital the week of my 20th birthday, some birthday present) and fairly active. I didn't smoke. I had not medical history that would point to it. The ONLY factor I had was the birth control.
BE CAREFUL! PLEASE! Even eating too much spinach can cause a problem with your clotting factors if you're on the pill/hormones. Riding in a car or plane for long distances doubly so.
I haven't been on bc since. We used condoms until we figured out that for all of our bother I was frickin' infertile anyway.
My doctor finally did an ablation 2 years ago because despite not being able to get pregnant, I was still bleeding 3 months in a row, losing a lot of blood. He tied my tubes while he was in there too, after making me sign paperwork stating that I wouldn't hold him liable if I could never procreate
As for the children issue. I was in the boat for a loooong time that said "No way am I going to put THESE genes into another living being" . I didn't want kids for some of the reasons Puck said. Now I wish desperately for that cooing little baby. I'll never have one that looks just like me (I wouldn't have anyway) but I wish I could.
Now our dream is to open a foster home for kids who need it: older kids, disabled, anyone really. For some reason I have this dream where I'm holding a little mexican boy named Miguel and he's calling me Mama . I want it to be real so badly.
I'm fulfilling dreams now, getting my degree in psychology, helping Tim get his in Engineering (duel major) . We travel as much as we can, we're remolding a house, we have three, soon to be four dogs, we're involved in all sorts of fun things. It still feels empty without a little person to share it with. Kids don't mean the end of your life! I can't wait to teach my little boy how to ride his first mountain bike down a mountain through the mud! I can't wait to take him rock climbing, and watch him climb higher than I can! I can't WAIT to hear him call me mom, and call Tim daddy. There is so much advantage to being a parent. It is so worth it. If you don't want to birth the kids, why not help those that are already here, but unwanted?
There is great value to raising up future leaders who love the earth and the creatures that inhabit it. It IS selfish to not invest in anyone or anything besides yourself. Don't kid yourself if you think it isn't.
We always have to do this don't we? I guess I could just ignore the threads...however I need to put in my two cents.
#1. Puck, I'm right there with Gus.
#2. I was on the pill when I was first married almost 8 years ago. Within the first year I developed a HUGE blood clot, much of which broke off, split into uncountable little pieces and went into my lungs. I nearly died. I was blue, with a O2 sat of 80, sometimes less.
I was healthy, young (I was admitted to the hospital the week of my 20th birthday, some birthday present
) and fairly active. I didn't smoke. I had not medical history that would point to it. The ONLY factor I had was the birth control. BE CAREFUL! PLEASE! Even eating too much spinach can cause a problem with your clotting factors if you're on the pill/hormones. Riding in a car or plane for long distances doubly so.
I haven't been on bc since. We used condoms until we figured out that for all of our bother I was frickin' infertile anyway.
My doctor finally did an ablation 2 years ago because despite not being able to get pregnant, I was still bleeding 3 months in a row, losing a lot of blood. He tied my tubes while he was in there too, after making me sign paperwork stating that I wouldn't hold him liable if I could never procreate
As for the children issue. I was in the boat for a loooong time that said "No way am I going to put THESE genes into another living being" . I didn't want kids for some of the reasons Puck said. Now I wish desperately for that cooing little baby. I'll never have one that looks just like me (I wouldn't have anyway) but I wish I could.
Now our dream is to open a foster home for kids who need it: older kids, disabled, anyone really. For some reason I have this dream where I'm holding a little mexican boy named Miguel and he's calling me Mama . I want it to be real so badly.
I'm fulfilling dreams now, getting my degree in psychology, helping Tim get his in Engineering (duel major) . We travel as much as we can, we're remolding a house, we have three, soon to be four dogs, we're involved in all sorts of fun things. It still feels empty without a little person to share it with. Kids don't mean the end of your life! I can't wait to teach my little boy how to ride his first mountain bike down a mountain through the mud! I can't wait to take him rock climbing, and watch him climb higher than I can! I can't WAIT to hear him call me mom, and call Tim daddy. There is so much advantage to being a parent. It is so worth it. If you don't want to birth the kids, why not help those that are already here, but unwanted?
There is great value to raising up future leaders who love the earth and the creatures that inhabit it. It IS selfish to not invest in anyone or anything besides yourself. Don't kid yourself if you think it isn't.
hmmm I haven't heard of that one before but I like the idea of that. I'm going to have to ask my Doc about that when I go for my womanly checkup.
As for trips to disney... that was the only place i ever wanted to go even long before I had kids... but that could because I am a little childish. lol OK a lot childish.
As for trips to disney... that was the only place i ever wanted to go even long before I had kids... but that could because I am a little childish. lol OK a lot childish.
Micronor. That's the one that I am on. No side effects except for fewer periods, for me anyway. Yay!
They first put me on it when I had Aurelia because I was BF, but she weaned at 11 months and I'm still on it a year later. Our regular doctor told me it wouldn't work as well once I stopped BFding, but both doctors at planned parenthood (the real doctors, not nurses) said that it does. And so far it has been MUCH more effective than condoms were.
Then again, we're planning to start trying again in the next year or two so if it was to fail right now it wouldn't be the end othe world.
The other nice thing is that you can stop taking it and get pregnant the next day, instead of some kinds where you have to wait for months for your hormones to normalize.
They first put me on it when I had Aurelia because I was BF, but she weaned at 11 months and I'm still on it a year later. Our regular doctor told me it wouldn't work as well once I stopped BFding, but both doctors at planned parenthood (the real doctors, not nurses) said that it does. And so far it has been MUCH more effective than condoms were.
Then again, we're planning to start trying again in the next year or two so if it was to fail right now it wouldn't be the end othe world.
The other nice thing is that you can stop taking it and get pregnant the next day, instead of some kinds where you have to wait for months for your hormones to normalize.
If you don't want children, by all means use birth control as nobody is making you have them if you don't want any. But don't think for a minute that they are the cause of marital problems. If you go back and read over every single thread on Chaz where someone left their SO, not ONE will say "oh we just don't get along since we had the kids. What a bad decision." The ones with children say "Ahhh! My SO is controlling/physically/mentally/emotionally abusing me and now I have a baby and I can't possibly let him/her be raised in this enviroment by this monster, who refuses to go to counseling with me!"
Children don't cause problems in relationships. They aren't the root of divorce, and marital/relationship problems. Children magnify whatever is there to begin with. If it is bad, the bad is magnified. If it is good, the good is magnified. It's up to the parents to work through the bad if they want to stick together. Some people aren't willing to (and by this I mean oftentimes the half that is acting badly, not the ones who are trying and stuck with a deadbeat who thinks nothing is wrong)
Children don't cause people's SO's to suddenly mutate into wife beating drug abusing psychopaths, or verbally controlling jerkos. If it manifests after a child is born, they already had that facet to them and just hadn't shown it until then. The child did NOT cause their parent to turn into a monster by virtue of their birth. That parent has a choice to change that aspect of themselves into something positive, and grow from it, or let it consume them.
How many people on Chaz were in abusive relationships, and were only able to find the courage to escape when they realized the kind of environment they were willing to suffer alone in wasn't the kind of place their beloved children deserved?
I am super glad to have my daughter. She brings a level of joy into our marriage that is far and beyond what we had on our own. Her presence has magnified the good and bad in our relationship, and given us the opportunity to work through that bad and turn it into something good and better. To deepen our bond, and grow more close than we ever could have on our own.
Children don't cause problems in relationships. They aren't the root of divorce, and marital/relationship problems. Children magnify whatever is there to begin with. If it is bad, the bad is magnified. If it is good, the good is magnified. It's up to the parents to work through the bad if they want to stick together. Some people aren't willing to (and by this I mean oftentimes the half that is acting badly, not the ones who are trying and stuck with a deadbeat who thinks nothing is wrong)
Children don't cause people's SO's to suddenly mutate into wife beating drug abusing psychopaths, or verbally controlling jerkos. If it manifests after a child is born, they already had that facet to them and just hadn't shown it until then. The child did NOT cause their parent to turn into a monster by virtue of their birth. That parent has a choice to change that aspect of themselves into something positive, and grow from it, or let it consume them.
How many people on Chaz were in abusive relationships, and were only able to find the courage to escape when they realized the kind of environment they were willing to suffer alone in wasn't the kind of place their beloved children deserved?
I am super glad to have my daughter. She brings a level of joy into our marriage that is far and beyond what we had on our own. Her presence has magnified the good and bad in our relationship, and given us the opportunity to work through that bad and turn it into something good and better. To deepen our bond, and grow more close than we ever could have on our own.
I do need to do more research and talk to my gyno about BC methods. They said there were some options (most were implants) and gave me brochures. Like i said, i have already had a stroke, so the risk is already increased for me. At this point i want the STD protection (i dont sleep around, but want to be sure), and i have no problems possibly having to use the morning after pill. Dont worry, no offense taken to your post at all!
Ahhhh, this discussion again. I had a lovely post all typed up, but I felt it showed my hatred for children in too raw a format for a "family" forum to accept.
So I will say this.
I've never wanted kids, I've never liked kids, I find them completely intolerable. I will not change my mind. I will not change my personality and feelings I've had my entire life when I turn 30. I. Do. Not. Want. Children.
And I'm not the only one.
So I will say this.
I've never wanted kids, I've never liked kids, I find them completely intolerable. I will not change my mind. I will not change my personality and feelings I've had my entire life when I turn 30. I. Do. Not. Want. Children.
And I'm not the only one.
Sorry, but in many cases *having* children is a selfish act. It is fulfilling the wants or needs of the parent. I don't know any one who says "You know, I really detest children but I'm going to make them and raise them anyway for God and Country." Every single person I know who planned for their child wanted children. They wanted a family. They wanted parenthood experiences, wanted to raise a child. That's fine. However, I don't buy that it is some noble act to reproduce. All species want very badly for their kind to carry on--it is hardwired into arguably most humans to make more humans at some point. Do parents make sacrifices? Sure--my mother made incredible sacrifices for me that I am thankful for everyday--but she raised that this is nothing noble, but simply expected if you are going to have children.
DH and I have not decided about kids yet. And the reasons do start with I. As in, I was raised that your child is your first priority, and if you are not ready to make it such, you should not have a child. I have have mental and physical health issues that I need to get a handle on before I bring another little being into the equation. I am not entirely certain that I would make a great parent.
If we do decide to have kids, it will be be we took our time and thought it through carefully and decided that it was really want we wanted to do with our lives, not because we deluded ourselves into believing that somehow society will just not survive without our genes in the pool.
It irritates me when people who have kids insist on trying to "sell" the idea of children on everyone who does not. I think it's fantastic if you have kids and love them, and your kids are lucky to have such adoring parents. However, people should NEVER feel pressured into such a life changing decision, and if they don't want kids, it's not any of anyone else's business. I love dogs and my life has been enhanced by owning them. I love being married to my husband and he is my best friend. However, I don't run around telling everyone who is single or dogless what they are missing all the time.
DH and I have not decided about kids yet. And the reasons do start with I. As in, I was raised that your child is your first priority, and if you are not ready to make it such, you should not have a child. I have have mental and physical health issues that I need to get a handle on before I bring another little being into the equation. I am not entirely certain that I would make a great parent.
If we do decide to have kids, it will be be we took our time and thought it through carefully and decided that it was really want we wanted to do with our lives, not because we deluded ourselves into believing that somehow society will just not survive without our genes in the pool.
It irritates me when people who have kids insist on trying to "sell" the idea of children on everyone who does not. I think it's fantastic if you have kids and love them, and your kids are lucky to have such adoring parents. However, people should NEVER feel pressured into such a life changing decision, and if they don't want kids, it's not any of anyone else's business. I love dogs and my life has been enhanced by owning them. I love being married to my husband and he is my best friend. However, I don't run around telling everyone who is single or dogless what they are missing all the time.
I just wanted to add that, no, children do not cause harm... but people need to learn that they also do not fix problems. I don't want to say that even hefty little surprise babies are not a great joy- but I think Debbie wanted to say that children are something you SHOULD plan for. If you want a baby and are tying to have a baby, it needs to be right time. And a lot of people I know and see WANT a baby and TTC, but they are in no place to HAVE one.
I am going to be 28 this year and I am at ease not having a child... I still have at least 5 years to make up my mind if I want a child or not (that doesn't mean I want to start with 40). I have the right partner, but I don't feel that I am in a place in my life to have a child without feeling that I am missing out on something. And that has nothing to do with money, cars and toys- it has to do with things I haven't experienced yet. And until that moment comes, there will be no toddlers in this household. That doesn't mean that I am the kid-hating old hag as people around here sadly perceive me.
I also love how a question about birth control turns into a children yay or nay debate. Just as a thread about gay marriage will end up in a religious warfare. Sigh. Sometimes we just need to live and let live.
I am going to be 28 this year and I am at ease not having a child... I still have at least 5 years to make up my mind if I want a child or not (that doesn't mean I want to start with 40). I have the right partner, but I don't feel that I am in a place in my life to have a child without feeling that I am missing out on something. And that has nothing to do with money, cars and toys- it has to do with things I haven't experienced yet. And until that moment comes, there will be no toddlers in this household. That doesn't mean that I am the kid-hating old hag as people around here sadly perceive me.
I also love how a question about birth control turns into a children yay or nay debate. Just as a thread about gay marriage will end up in a religious warfare. Sigh. Sometimes we just need to live and let live.
I was a MISTAKE lol or as my mom says it a "surprise present" lol
I wasn't planned, but my parents love me just the same
my mom lost her 1st little girl 8 months into her pregnancy, then she had my 2 brothers and she always told people God would never again give her a little girl, and then I came along lol
lol or as my mom says it a "surprise present" lol I wasn't planned, but my parents love me just the same
my mom lost her 1st little girl 8 months into her pregnancy, then she had my 2 brothers and she always told people God would never again give her a little girl, and then I came along
lol
I have the Mirena IED, have had it for a year now. I too, can only give it awesome reviews. I don't have any periods and know that I'm baby free for another 4 years. No more mood swings or weight gain. The only problem I ever had was the first month or two after getting it. I bled non-stop and had cramps continuously, but I'd do it all again just for the security and convience.