why does he have to make me so mad

[juliefurry]

Ok, my husband is REALLY starting to get on my nerves! He said he was going to stay only two hours overtime and ended up staying SIX! Then he gets up and leaves right away for work without barely a bye to me or anything. He didn't even ask me how Emily was feeling this morning when she got up. Anytime I ask him to only stay 2 hours over he stays over a lot more. I really need to talk to him about bills and the baby and he seems to be purposely avoiding me so we don't talk about it. He got us cellphones and is cancelling our homephone and AOL because he thinks it'd be cheaper. We're going to try the cable internet only because they have a deal going for six months. I'm just mad he does this stuff without asking me because he thinks it'd be cheaper. I would rather have my AOL instead of stupid cellphones. So the cable will be put in this friday and then I have no choice BUT to use it and I'm afraid that if I use it then I will like it and not want to go back to dial up and then that will be bad.

 

[GlassOnion]

and then I have no choice BUT to use it and I'm afraid that if I use it then I will like it and not want to go back to dial up and then that will be bad

You'll love it. So much faster than dial-up.

Why would it be bad to like it?


As for the husband thing, I don't know. Go up to his work and talk to him?

 

[Boxer*Mom]

julie i think you need some hobbies besides the internet. honestly if your husband is working six hours of overtime or any at all when he is asked that's going to put a lot of money into his paycheck to help y'all out financially.

 

[Becca_]

Yeah, my daughter use to complain about her husband working so much. I'm thinking ARE YOU NUTS? More money for bills, less time to get on each other's nerves. And you'll love the cable.

 

[Kaleigh'sAdrienne]

Yea.. you'll love the cable.. a lot more faster then dial up and cell phones are a good thing All guys say they'll stay a certain amount of hrs and then they end up staying waaayyy over that time.. lol Also, guys are one track minded creatures... even if he seems like he's ignoring you maybe he has a lot on his mind working over time and all. Good Luck though!!

 

[juliefurry]

julie i think you need some hobbies besides the internet. honestly if your husband is working six hours of overtime or any at all when he is asked that's going to put a lot of money into his paycheck to help y'all out financially.

I do have hobbies besides the internet. I have my daughter who right now is sick. It's not that I don't mind him working overtime it's just EVERY night he is staying 6 hours over when he promises to stay 2 because I can't figure out these bills by myself it's driving me nuts. He stays 6 hours over everynight, doesn't get home until 6 a.m. then sleeps right up until he has to go in to work and leaves with no hi or goodbye or anything. On the weekends he will get up and call his work to ask about overtime and if they are offering it than he goes in and stays 8 hours. On sunday, he doesn't go to work but will go here or there and asks me to stay home so we don't have to drag Emily out. I don't mind him hanging out with his friend's but his friend's have wifes and whenever they ask where I am he always tells them "oh she couldn't come". I know this because his friend's wife called me to invite me to their house with my husband this weekend and says that is what he says. If this is just his way of being worried about bills and the baby fine but he needs to tell me this than I would be ok.

 

[Zoom]

Julie, you need to talk to your husband and find out what is going on. Maybe suggest, or demand, counciling. It sounds like he's doing everything he can to avoid his homelife and that's something you really need to find out the reason to.

 

[fastpitchchic]

I agree with zoom, I too had a husband that did the same thing, and lets just say he was doing something other than his work. I would sit him down and talk to him find out what's going on. Watch his body language it can tell you a lot.

 

[my2girls]

Julie, add me to the list too!! I agree w/ Zoom and Fastpitchchic (sorry if I got that one wrong). Anyway you definitely need to sit him down and get him to talk to you. How long has this been going on, if you don't mind me asking? I agree w/ previous poster about the body language thing too. You should be able to get a feel for what might be going on besides work. I hate to suggest something like that, but it really does happen

I have two little girls and I found out after I had my youngest who it 1 1/2, that my husband was meeting people online and while he was supposed to be working, he was meeting w/ someone else!!! We are still married, but let's just say, I don't trust him and I am always questioning everything!!!!!!!!! We did go to counseling and have actually just started back again. It really does help if both people are willing.

Jamie

 

[BigDog2191]

I agree with zoom, I too had a husband that did the same thing, and lets just say he was doing something other than his work. I would sit him down and talk to him find out what's going on. Watch his body language it can tell you a lot.

I agree. It's like dogs but watch his face; eyebrows and all. If you search online or a book, it shows how you can tell whether they're lying or not.

 

[juliefurry]

I called his boss today and asked if he would refuse my husband overtime and sort of explained I needed to talk to him, so his boss said he wouldn't have him stay over tonight he wouldn't even offer it to him. I can call my husband's work anytime and he is there, but I don't think he would be cheating because his ex-wife cheated on him with basically every man under the sun and he knows how it feels. He's been doing this for about 3 months I would say. It's now that I have a problem with it, I wasn't too worried when he was staying 6 hours over three days a week but now it's everyday and one weekend day. He does think he is helping by staying over all the time but he doesn't realize he is hurting himself in other ways.

 

[tessa_s212]

Sounds like my dad. He works alot just to avoid my mom and us kids. When he isn't working, he is in his bedroom on the comp.

 

[my2girls]

Tessa ~ That's sad! I don't think he is really trying to avoid you guys. Men are just weird like that sometimes. Sometimes they don't know how to communicate w/ women and kids (especially girls). Now any men reading this don't freak out on me about that. I'm not blasting the guys, I'm just stating reality. My dad was pretty much the same way. As I kid, I thought he was blowing us off and didn't care much about us. As an adult w/ my own kids, I know now that wasn't it at all, he just didn't know any better or any other way b/c it's how he was raised.

Julie ~ I hope you guys get a chance to talk and things start getting better for you. Maybe he's stressing about the baby and doesn't know how to deal w/ it. Sometimes guys do that too. They don't know how to deal w/ something but don't dare want you to know that.

Jamie

 

[thewhitewitchone]

Julie....wow...can I relate to your problem! My husband is self-employed and he is virtually NEVER home (or so it seems). He leaves in the morning and doesn't come back until 8, 9, 10 or later at night. He rarely calls me to keep me posted and when I call his cell, I always get voice mail. He also sucks at communicating. I talk, he says nothing. When he gets home at night (however late), he eats and then falls asleep in his chair or on the floor.
The thought that he is cheating has crossed my mind over and over again but he swears he isn't. We are going through a tough time too financially. I mean it's REALLY bad...and I guess it's just his dumb guy way of coping with stress. They clam up...we do the opposite. Not talking about things does NOT help any but how do you make someone talk if they don't want to??
Hope you have better luck with your hubby.

Pam

 

[bubbatd]

Julie, right now your hormones are raging and he may just want to feather the nest more... with Christmas coming , he may just feel it's the thing to do.

 

[Zoom]

Well, as a possibly related not, or not...I do know a guy who moved out while his wife was pregnant, because she was *that* difficult to live with at that time. I'm not saying you're the same way, but maybe your husband sees things differently?

Or he's working his butt off to be able to afford to give you some HUGE surprise later on...

 

[juliefurry]

Julie....wow...can I relate to your problem! My husband is self-employed and he is virtually NEVER home (or so it seems). He leaves in the morning and doesn't come back until 8, 9, 10 or later at night. He rarely calls me to keep me posted and when I call his cell, I always get voice mail. He also sucks at communicating. I talk, he says nothing. When he gets home at night (however late), he eats and then falls asleep in his chair or on the floor.
The thought that he is cheating has crossed my mind over and over again but he swears he isn't. We are going through a tough time too financially. I mean it's REALLY bad...and I guess it's just his dumb guy way of coping with stress. They clam up...we do the opposite. Not talking about things does NOT help any but how do you make someone talk if they don't want to??
Hope you have better luck with your hubby.

Pam

We are always financially bad. It seems once we get better he goes and does something like getting a personal loan or buying something (like cell phones) that we don't need and can't afford. I am so hoping that when our lease ends here we can go and stay with either my parents or my husband's parents three months and get our credit cards, and final personal loan paid off. It'll suck because we'll have all the kids and dogs but we don't want to stay here for another year and the place we want to rent won't be open until August. He'll be home tonight, can't guarantee tomorrow night but atleast I know he'll have to sit and listen to me tonight (or I'll sick Hannah on him ).

 

[GlassOnion]

Well, good luck.

Hope his boss and he are good friends. We have a way of dropping hints to each other when a wife/girlfriend is mad.

That way he'll be serious about the talk and not try to blow it off with something else.

 

[juliefurry]

Well, good luck.

Hope his boss and he are good friends. We have a way of dropping hints to each other when a wife/girlfriend is mad.

That way he'll be serious about the talk and not try to blow it off with something else.

Oh they know each other fairly well and he can set him straight. The supervisor likes to side with me (the pregnant one) because he doesn't want to make me mad. I'm sure he'll tell him to make sure he goes home and talks to me, well atleast he said he was gonna knock some sense into my hubby .

 

[BigDog2191]

I don't get how other men never want to talk about things and just avoid things like that. I hear about it all the time but I'm the exact opposite. If there's a problem, I REALLY want to talk about it.

I don't like loose ends or unresolved things, I guess...