What's an unpopular opinion that you keep secret bc you want to avoid confrontation?

[Dekka]

Oh and for the record, I don' think dressing provocatively=sleeping around. There really is no connection other than the stigma that there is a connection.

I just can't help but think..is this the kind of example you are setting for your kid? Would you want HER to dress that way?

Then again.. this doesn't just go for parents.
I really have no idea why people walk around wearing so little. Leave something to the imagination for heaven sakes.

and to those "looking for mates" especially.. wouldn't you hope to find somebody who is attracted to something other than the amount of flesh you have showing?
Your pretty face? personality? humor? intelligence?

By all means work the curves, wear things that make your body look it's best.. but to me that doesn't mean wearing as little as possible in an attempt to somehow I dunno, attract people by your nakedness. lol I dunno, I don't really get it.

See and it goes both ways. Why is hiding it better? Sure I want more in a partner.. but I also wouldn't want one who would think I needed to hide my body if I didn't want too. I went to an all girl private school.. people still dressed in short skirts even when there were no boys around. Some people just like dressing that way.

Making it a judgement value is what gives 'slut shaming' power. Do I want to see someone's boobs..? No but I find a lot of fashion hideous and would find the natural human body less offensive..

I don't the a human's value has anything to do with how much they cover or uncover.

If I had a daughter I would hope she would grow up to be confident to wear what she wanted. Of course there are times and places where dressing sexy is appropriate (ie not in the class room, not in the business place)

 

[Red.Apricot]

I have recently been jumped on for my opinion that: people are basically nice, and basically smart, and most people are really interesting. I genuinely enjoy hearing other people's points of view on stuff, even when I don't agree, and I don't think that people who disagree with me are stupid, dumb, or cruel, even if I think their position is wrong.

 

[Paige]

Uggz are infact ugly!

 

[Fran101]

See and it goes both ways. Why is hiding it better? Sure I want more in a partner.. but I also wouldn't want one who would think I needed to hide my body if I didn't want too. I went to an all girl private school.. people still dressed in short skirts even when there were no boys around. Some people just like dressing that way.

Making it a judgement value is what gives 'slut shaming' power. Do I want to see someone's boobs..? No but I find a lot of fashion hideous and would find the natural human body less offensive..

I don't the a human's value has anything to do with how much they cover or uncover.

If I had a daughter I would hope she would grow up to be confident to wear what she wanted. Of course there are times and places where dressing sexy is appropriate (ie not in the class room, not in the business place)

I certainly don't mean your value is based on what you are wearing.
I am saying that how about let your actual VALUE (the things on the inside. you know, your brain) shine through instead of trying to draw attention to flesh?

but If you HONESTLY love dressing that way because I dunno..clothing gives you allergies or you just like it. Then fine. Go you. If you dress that way on the regular..then fine. I am certainly not offended (a bit confused maybe..)

but to wear these kinds of clothes only when you are out and about when you are "looking for a mate" I think does the OPPOSITE of empowering women, I think it sends the message that
"Oh since my body is the most important thing about me/the only way to get attention. I am going to showcase it in the most obvious way! LOOK AT ME!"

I'm not saying wear a Burka! lol by all means, you don't have to HIDE your entire body. I LIKE my body, I like my cuves, I like my butt..
and I don't think dressing the way I do means I am ashamed of it. I think it means "I am proud of my body, but it is not the most important thing about me."
and I am around enough women to believe that the "I just like dressing like this" are not the majority.

The majority are IMO
a. People with low self esteem who do feel like their bodies are the most important thing about them
b. People with mates who are scared if they don't "keep his attention" he will stray (once again believing that your body is more important than who you are)
or
c. People peer pressured into dressing into thinking "you won't find somebody/won't be cool/won't fit in if you don't wear this" because of the idea that being sexy is the most important thing a woman can do.
or a variation of the above.

and I have had times where I have been guilty of dressing that way. and every time has been because of option C. not because I like the way I look in those clothes.

and I would hope my daughter loves herself enough to know that her body is not the most important thing about her and that WHO SHE IS is what matters.
I hope she does wear whatever makes her feel beautiful NOT what the world is telling her to showcase.

 

[Miakoda]

I don't equate someone dressed in daisy dukes as someone easy to get into bed. I do equate it to relishing the attention derived from such clothing. Some people cringe, others enjoy it.

But if I see a woman holding an infant, and then when she bends over I get a view of where that baby came out of, then I think there's a problem.

 

[Dekka]

I certainly don't mean your value is based on what you are wearing.
I am saying that how about let your actual VALUE (the things on the inside. you know, your brain) shine through instead of trying to draw attention to flesh?

My whole point is though that why would someone assume that my intelligence has anything to do with my clothing? Someone dressing like a nun isn't going to be any smarter, say wittier things or sound more knoweldgable than someone in daisy dukes..

I am saying how about letting your actual value shine through for real things.. not how you dress? Sure some people will make judgment values based on clothing (and not just skimpy dress, it could be over conservative, old fashion, hipster or goth...) but then IMO you just know who to avoid. (hence the not wearing it the work place unless you work some where that is appropriate)

People are more than the packaging, and IMO you are giving the packaging value by saying it should be "X" for people to see the real you... what if part of the real you is the way you like to dress? Would you want someone for a mate who couldn't see past the packaging? If the packaging is important to them (and lets be honest it is to a degree) then you know that person is not for you.

 

[MyHorseMyRules]

Dekka, I could be wrong, but I think what Fran is getting at is that she wishes more women were confident enough that they didn't feel like they had to dress like that to be liked.

 

[Dakotah]

Dekka, I could be wrong, but I think what Fran is getting at is that she wishes more women were confident enough that they didn't feel like they had to dress like that to be liked.

I think this as well.

I love my thick, muscley legs & I love my butt.
BUT I am not comfortable with my stomach. AT.ALL. I Hate it and I am trying very hard to tone it up and get ready of some belly.

To be honest, if TJ or my dad saw me walking around in a cocktail dress or booty shorts, they would be like "H3LL NO" because that is NOT who I am.
Yes, I have a dress that is short, but not cocktail dress short, and I love it. I wear my cowgirl boots with it , but I only wear it if I am with TJ.

I dare not wear something like that (or smaller/shorter) around another man. To me that is disrespectful to your significant other and yourself, that is just my opinion though.

 

[Jules]

^That. What also irks me is women dressing that way that leaves nothing to your imagination and then complaining when men stare at their boobs. Now, I would in no shape or form ever say that dressing provocatively allows a man to touch or rape you, or that you're inviting them to do so, but if you're putting it out for the world to see, well, then don't complain when they do (look, and only look).

 

[Zoom]

Dekka, I could be wrong, but I think what Fran is getting at is that she wishes more women were confident enough that they didn't feel like they had to dress like that to be liked.

This.

However, I also wish that more women would remember that they are WOMEN and not just moms and wives. I ran into this so often when I was doing Passion Parties and it just made me sad. If you have the confidence to wear something that "flaunts" your body--DO IT. Don't feel like you have to leave the "rawr" part of you behind just because you have a ring and a kid. I'm also in the "wear something that tastefully accentuates your best features". basically, dress for success/your body type.

 

[Dekka]

Dekka, I could be wrong, but I think what Fran is getting at is that she wishes more women were confident enough that they didn't feel like they had to dress like that to be liked.

But then you are assuming they are dressing like that because they assume they need that to be liked (thats a whole lot of assumptions ). At least the people I know that like to dress in skimpy ways are LESS concerned about what people think than those who worry if people will think they are 'sluts' for showing too much skin.

My first point was that I think people should wear what makes them happy and others should try to avoid making judgment calls on things like brains, confidence and other values based on what they deem acceptable.

 

[MyHorseMyRules]

However, I also wish that more women would remember that they are WOMEN and not just moms and wives. I ran into this so often when I was doing Passion Parties and it just made me sad. If you have the confidence to wear something that "flaunts" your body--DO IT. Don't feel like you have to leave the "rawr" part of you behind just because you have a ring and a kid. I'm also in the "wear something that tastefully accentuates your best features". basically, dress for success/your body type.

Agreed!!!

ETA: Dekka, I judge mostly off of behavior and not how people are dressed. But IME, most women don't fall into the category you're describing. It's sad, but it seems to be true.

 

[ravennr]

i also cannot stand if a girl wears a super low-cut top then complains when a man or even woman looks at it. that really does bother me. the low-cut tops i wear are not really that low. i also avoid wearing short dresses, purely because i have short legs and in my head it looks obscenely ridiculous (and yet every other short woman is capable of pulling it off in my mind as well so there you go).
not even as a woman, but as a human being, i expect comments. i thank people for the good ones and take the bad ones with a grain of salt. anymore, they don't phase me. what i'm comfortable in, whether it's clothing or makeup, is what i wear.


as mean as this might sound to some, though, i do thing there are certain articles that require a body type. body-con clothing as an example really requires a specific body type. those are the only times where i see someone wearing something a little risque, where their body just doesn't work with the piece, and in my mind i want to re-dress them. they can still be sexy, they can just do it in something that actually compliments them.

 

[Dekka]

I agree it should suit you (if I have to look at you lol) to be attractive. But I still dont' care what people wear. Just realize if you weight 300 pounds and wear a speedo to walmart.. I am going to stare in shock and amazement!

 

[-bogart-]

ow came across this on again today.


The women whom dump there kids off on there people because they "Need a break"

WTF ? seriously I can count on 1 had the amount of time I have ever been away from my kids. This girl will drop her son off with his granny and disappear for days becasue she just "Needed some HER time".

Seriously , you should not have kids if all you care about is yourself.

 

[sparks19]

ow came across this on again today.


The women whom dump there kids off on there people because they "Need a break"

WTF ? seriously I can count on 1 had the amount of time I have ever been away from my kids. This girl will drop her son off with his granny and disappear for days becasue she just "Needed some HER time".

Seriously , you should not have kids if all you care about is yourself.

Yikes....

I know just what you mean. I know girls who treat their parents like they OWE it to them to take care of their grandchild. like "It's YOUR turn to watch him" Uh... say what? My neice... she is one of these girls. She treats her parents like junk but then she demands that they "do their part" when it comes to the baby

A girl who HONESTLY said to her mother, two weeks after giving birth, that she wanted to go to a party and she's an adult and they can't tell her what to do but ... they have to watch the baby. "I haven't been out since the baby was born" Aww poor thing... here's an idea... RAISE YOUR KID or find someone else to take him who will permanently.

The family is on the verge of disowning her really. it's just getting crazy.

 

[-bogart-]

Yikes....

I know just what you mean. I know girls who treat their parents like they OWE it to them to take care of their grandchild. like "It's YOUR turn to watch him" Uh... say what? My neice... she is one of these girls. She treats her parents like junk but then she demands that they "do their part" when it comes to the baby

A girl who HONESTLY said to her mother, two weeks after giving birth, that she wanted to go to a party and she's an adult and they can't tell her what to do but ... they have to watch the baby. "I haven't been out since the baby was born" Aww poor thing... here's an idea... RAISE YOUR KID or find someone else to take him who will permanently.

The family is on the verge of disowning her really. it's just getting crazy.

Yeah , and have to go out drinking and parting ALL THE TIME> just makes me want to take there kids and give them to someone who will actually , you know care.

 

[ravennr]

i just turned 22 in September, so i'm realizing that i'm at the age where many people are choosing to have kids. but i am so tired of seeing these girls i went to high school with pawning their kids off on their parents and their entire life consists of clubbing and beer.

i'm not even in the same country, and i'm aware that you're spending MOST of your time partying and that is ridiculous. the worst part is that most have no shame. they happily admit it! ugh.

 

[Jules]

I don't see anything wrong with having a responsible babysitter or family watch children so the parents can have some "me" time. I think during a time when I was a kid, I would spend once a week at my grandparent's place so my parents could have their time, and their time alone. Of course, my grandparents were thrilled to have me and I was thrilled to go there.

Obviously, if you pawn your kid off for 2 weeks in a row or every second day to go partying, that's not responsible. But just because my parents routinely went on a date night to a nice restaurant or a movie and left me alone more times than they can count on one hand, doesn't mean that love me any less or weren't fit to be parents.

 

[sparks19]

I don't see anything wrong with having a responsible babysitter or family watch children so the parents can have some "me" time. I think during a time when I was a kid, I would spend once a week at my grandparent's place so my parents could have their time, and their time alone. Of course, my grandparents were thrilled to have me and I was thrilled to go there.

Obviously, if you pawn your kid off for 2 weeks in a row or every second day to go partying, that's not responsible. But just because my parents routinely went on a date night to a nice restaurant or a movie and left me alone more times than they can count on one hand, doesn't mean that love me any less or weren't fit to be parents.

I'm definitely not saying that.

I wish Hannah had grandparents that lived closer so she could go spend some time over there. Not just for us but for her too and her grandparents. I know they would love to see her a lot more than they do. if they lived here I would absolutely let them take hannah for a night or a weekend or whatever they wanted to do.

BUT the difference in that and what I was saying before is the expectation that they'll just take your kid whenever you have something better to do. Like the example of my neice "it's YOUR TURN to watch him" uh no it's not their TURN. it's ALWAYS your turn... you are his mother. If they want to take him then great but it's not something you demand