What is love at first sight? or did the bond take time?

PlottMom

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#41
I have never had love at first sight. I need to work for a bond. I also can be slightly sociopathic and overtly rational in my considerations. It takes a fair amount for me to truly love something. I love my dogs, each of them, even when they drive me insane but it was not immediate.
Pretty much this, which while it makes me go "meh" when people sell/rehome dogs that they don't bond with (seriously, I get that dogs are a commitment, but you have to live with it for years... if you don't like it, better to find someone who does.) it also makes me not worry when I don't bond immediately with a dog. I give any dog that comes home 1 year to show significant improvement. If I get it, they stay. That was the promise I made myself after I spent a year crying over not bonding with Liz. Liz who now clearly thinks the sun rises & sets with me. I adore my silly little lizard dog, and she is SUCH a good dog! But it took us a lot of work & tears to get there. As I said in another thread, it took me a year to say "I love you" and "good dog!" to Rage. Even Daisy had me in tears the first few months, what with her not being housetrained & howling her basset ass off while I was living in an apartment complex & going to college full time.
 

AdrianneIsabel

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#42
Pretty much this, which while it makes me go "meh" when people sell/rehome dogs that they don't bond with (seriously, I get that dogs are a commitment, but you have to live with it for years... if you don't like it, better to find someone who does.) it also makes me not worry when I don't bond immediately with a dog. I give any dog that comes home 1 year to show significant improvement. If I get it, they stay. That was the promise I made myself after I spent a year crying over not bonding with Liz. Liz who now clearly thinks the sun rises & sets with me. I adore my silly little lizard dog, and she is SUCH a good dog! But it took us a lot of work & tears to get there. As I said in another thread, it took me a year to say "I love you" and "good dog!" to Rage. Even Daisy had me in tears the first few months, what with her not being housetrained & howling her basset ass off while I was living in an apartment complex & going to college full time.
We're so similar. :yikes:
 

thehoundgirl

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#43
My past dogs first:

Rocky it did take me awhile to form a bond with him because he was such a naughty puppy. But after the naughty puppy stage we bonded instantly. He wasn't my dog.. but he was a hell of a family dog. He would always sit by me when I opened Christmas presents every Christmas as if he wanted to share my joy too. When we went to the lake he wouldn't let me go alone and always went down with me when I went by the water. We had 12 darn good years with him. It broke my heart when he died before Christmas in 2009 because he loved it so much. He was never just my dog, but that dog had my heart.

Jenny: It was love at first sight definately. My parents got her when they picked me up when I got out of the 7th grade and I asked to hold her and that was it. She was a bit challenging and really had no common sense when she was a pup. It didn't make me resent her though, she was a bit quirky but I loved her all the same. I think our bond grew tighter when I trained her in 4-H and she was pretty quick to get stuff. It annoyed my parents when they wanted her to come inside she wouldn't listen to them only to me. :p

She was a bit of a houdini if you left her out for 2 seconds she would get out the front gate pushing her nose against it and it didn't take much since she was a Rottie mix. I had to chase her in the rain, in my pajamas, and bare feet once. It was super annoying that she made me chase her for 2 blocks before she would let me catch her. :rolleyes: She was thankfully never hit by a car but quite the houdini. I had 10 and a half wonderful years with her and she passed away 2 months after Rocky did. There will never be other dogs like them.

Ginger wasn't really my dog.. we inherited her when my grandmother passed away. But I did really love her. We knew her since she was a pup and had 7 more years with her and she was put down in 2010 because she couldn't walk any more since she was badly bred. She was sure a special girl.

My current dogs:

Buster: I don't think he has ever been "my" dog. While I love him, he is most bonded with my dad but I do love this dog so much. He is quirky and annoying but he is a really great dog.

Rudy: I really don't have a bond with him but I do love him. He's more of my parent's dog.

Dixie: It was love at first sight when the ACO brought her in when I was working at the shelter that night. We bonded right away and her little aroo roo roo's has never stopped. She makes us smile every single day and I hope she has this personality forever. She is just amazing. :)
 
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#44
With Cinnamon, it was love at first sight. I still remember when my sister brought her home, a little bundle of white curls in her arms.

With Luna, it took a little more time for us to bond. I knew she was my dog when I saw her at the shelter, but I was having trouble connecting with her when I first brought her home. I guess it was because I was still grieving for Cinnamon and felt a little guilty having another dog. But once I got passed that, we bonded completely.
 

CharlieDog

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#45
Pretty much this, which while it makes me go "meh" when people sell/rehome dogs that they don't bond with (seriously, I get that dogs are a commitment, but you have to live with it for years... if you don't like it, better to find someone who does.) it also makes me not worry when I don't bond immediately with a dog. I give any dog that comes home 1 year to show significant improvement. If I get it, they stay. That was the promise I made myself after I spent a year crying over not bonding with Liz. Liz who now clearly thinks the sun rises & sets with me. I adore my silly little lizard dog, and she is SUCH a good dog! But it took us a lot of work & tears to get there. As I said in another thread, it took me a year to say "I love you" and "good dog!" to Rage. Even Daisy had me in tears the first few months, what with her not being housetrained & howling her basset ass off while I was living in an apartment complex & going to college full time.
Definitely this, and we have the same sort of loose rule here. Any adult dog brought home with the intention of staying gets 8 months to a year for us to decide if we've bonded or not, if they fit or not. Obviously not every dog is on a year long probation, and I can say I can't really see NOT bonding with a puppy (though I know it happens lol) but the first few months of Enzo were me going "wtf was I THINKING?! A LAB? UGHOMG" but now I can't imagine not having at least one goofball labradork around.

Indy and I took like, over 7 or 8 months to bond. It wasn't instant gratification, and I really ended up with her because Knox needed someone who could play with him, and she was available. It could have really ended up being any female shepherd who was dog social. Enzo and Ozzy shunned him because neither one of them speaks Shepherd and would play like he does. Indy came her as a pet for us, possibly another running partner for my husband and to hopefully help alleviate some of Knox's other dog loneliness/frustration.

We have a working partnership now, and that has definitely changed how we operate. Our bond is definitely deeper, and requires less words and more gestures and body language. I hesitate to say it, because I waffle between believing you only get ONE heart dog, and believing you have to be super lucky to get a dog like a heart dog more than once, but our relationship is approaching that point. Sure, there are still crossed wires, and misscommunications, but even with my husband who actually speaks English and is capable of telling me in plain English how he's feeling in that actual moment we have the same issues. But really, Indy and I just "get" each other, much clearer than any of the other dogs I've worked with or had or have now.

Ozzy, I loved immensely as a puppy. He was MY BOY. But it became clear as he grew up he was my husbands dog. He still is :p I still *like* him, but we don't really have a bond at all. He will ignore me in favor of my husband (to be fair, he ignores both of us if there is a space heater on somewhere, haha) and is just in general a "daddys boy"

Jones is a hilarious, handsome, charming, debonair puppy. Who's very socially outgoing with both people and other dogs. I love him to death, but to say we have more than a rudimentary bond would be inaccurate. Right now, bugs dirt sticks and grass are cooler than I am lol, but he's a puppy, and still discovering the ENTIRE world, so he gets a pass haha.
 

Shai

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#46
Takes me a while usually. I like them when they come home (or else they would not come home :p) but it takes a bit to form that bond.

Kim -- I'm not sure how long it took. It was so organic as we were trying to figure each other out that it just sort of developed on its own.

Webster -- took about three months. I finally took him on a little weeked trip just the two of us and we clicked.

Mira -- was an odd case. She bonded to me the moment she laid eyes on me. It took me a couple weeks, but I think a lot of that was figuring out her expressions and body language. After the extremely expressive faces of K&W it was an adjustment to an all-black dog with different facial structure and drop ears. Nuances took me a bit. By the time I had them, we were pretty much inseperable though.

Cookie, ironically, was the fastest bond of them all, though not as deep as Mira's. Probably because how quickly we bonded worried me since I knew she was leaving, and I made an effort to keep other people on her radar as important.
 

BostonBanker

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#47
It must just be from my own experience, but I'm baffled that people find/believe they will automatically or inevitably bond with a puppy, but adult dogs it is a crapshoot. I bonded so much faster with Meg; it would never occur to me that puppies would be easier (or harder) to bond with. It's an individual dog thing for me, not an age thing.

I still wonder if Gusto and I are really fully bonded. I kind of hope we aren't - I adore him, but I'd like to think there's even more and better to come.
 

Finkie_Mom

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#48
It must just be from my own experience, but I'm baffled that people find/believe they will automatically or inevitably bond with a puppy, but adult dogs it is a crapshoot. I bonded so much faster with Meg; it would never occur to me that puppies would be easier (or harder) to bond with. It's an individual dog thing for me, not an age thing.

I still wonder if Gusto and I are really fully bonded. I kind of hope we aren't - I adore him, but I'd like to think there's even more and better to come.
The only reason I think that is simply because of my own experience thus far. Which is very minimal. It took me longer to bond with both adults than it did with Kimma. But it might just be an individual dog thing in my case versus strictly a puppy versus adult thing. For the most part, I got to raise Kimma how I wanted, whereas Bubbles and Pen came with some "issues" I didn't know about in picking them up. So we shall see about Jari :p

ETA - I also think that while Kimma and I are definitely bonded, we are only continuing to strengthen that bond. Every trial we compete in, every training class/experience we have, every pet and rare cuddle, makes things even better. It's really cool and something I never thought could happen with a dog <3
 
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#49
Crystal: It actually took me a long time to bond with her. Although she was smart, and actually very well behaved as a puppy, it just took me forever to have a bond with her. Took almost two years to actually be able to say 'we've bonded'. But I'm very glad I still have her to this day.

Nour: (previous dog) He was absolutely 'love at first sight'. I felt as if he was 'my' dog, my buddy, right away. Even though he is/was absolutely goofy and stubborn, I still loved him and bonded to him right away. I'm not even sure what it was, but I could definitely tell someone I was glad to have this dog right away. We were just good for eachother, I guess.
 

~Dixie's_Mom~

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#50
With Chloe there was an instant connection. I hadn't had a dog for months. It killed me not to have a dog. They have always been my passion since I was probably 2 years old.

We went to visit some friends in Alabama who had recently lost their dog. When their dog died they went to animal control and met some dogs. They actually had met a Schnauzer a few days before and were planning to get it but when they came back to pick it up it was very fearful and growling. They decided against taking the dog and asked if there were any other dogs they could see. The kennel person brought out Chloe. She was not what they were looking for AT ALL but when the kennel person told them that she had been there for over 90 days and didn't have much chance of not being put down, the husband (T) said "we'll take her". The wife (R) was shocked, as this was not the type of dog they wanted, but if T had fallen for her so quickly, she hoped she would with time.

A few days passed and she wasn't feeling a bond with Chloe (originally named Nina at the shelter but renamed Alex by R) and both T and her agreed that she was not the dog for them. They couldn't stand taking her back to the shelter where she would likely be put down, so they decided to foster her until they could find her the right family.

Later that week is when we showed up. We actually met them at a large shelter in Alabama (not the AC where they got Chloe) that day to help them find the right dog for them. We looked around a nd saw some gorgeous dogs. I was missing having a dog so much. Finally we found a Lhasa mix (their do who had died was a Lhasa) who was perfect, but someone had looked at her earlier that day and were planning to come get her. The shelter people said that they were closing in a couple hours and that if the woman hadn't contacted then regarding the dog by the time they closed, the dog would be T&R's. So we left and went out to eat. The whole time we were so nervous but R told us all about Chloe and we tried to "subtly" talk my dad into getting a dog. We were actually told that she was a full Chihuahua, and I've always loved Chi's so I was thinking "this is perfect!". Everything we heard about her made her sound like such a great dog and I was so excited to meet her! After we ate we went back to the shelter and the woman had called and said she couldn't get the dog! So T and R filled out some paperwork, sat down in another room with the shelter person and talked, we left with (who would soon be) Muffin. :)

When we got to their house my dad was already there (he and T had ridden together with my brother). I walked in and there was this (very obviously not full blooded) little Chihuahua sitting on my dad's lap. R joked "looks like Alex has already won your dad over!" My dad just laughed and set her on the floor and said "watch this you guys" and Chloe put her front paws on my dad's leg and used her head to press against his other leg and shimmied up onto his lap(which she still does to this day)! It was so cute and funny! My dad was laughing and I thought "wow, I really hope he's falling for her." The rest of that day my sister and I played with "Alex". We realized really quickly that her name didn't fit her. So we (though we didn't think she'd ever in a million years be ours) started thinking of names for her. My sister said she looked like the boy dog (Papi) from Beverly Hills Chihuahua, but she couldn't remember the girl's name (I hadn't seen it yet) but she knew it was a cute name. She finally remembered that her name was Chloe! It was adorable, not too common at the time, and fit her perfectly! I loved it and so we started calling her Chloe. R agreed that it fit her better than Alex and we all tried to convince my dad that Chloe was perfect for our family. She slept with my sister and I on an air mattress that night, and I wanted her so badly...

The rest of the weekend (we ended up staying Monday as well because it snowed) we tried to "subtly" convince my dad that we needed this little dog. I don't remember exactly how it happened but my dad said yes. We were all in complete shock. We were going to have to leave her with T and R for another week because she had been scheduled to be spayed by the shelter, and it was going to be free (since they had paid the adoption fee).

So we packed up our things and were walking out the door when I looked down and Chloe was looking at me like "where are you going without me?" And I started to cry. I didn't want to leave her. I felt like I was leaving a part of my heart there. And I was a little bit scared that my dad would change his mind somewhere between Alabama and Tennessee. I gave her a hug and a kiss and got into the car. R stood there in the doorway with Chloe in her arms, and I looked into Chloe's eyes until we we were too far down the driveway to see her, with tears in my eyes.

A week passed and we found out that the shelter pushed back her spay due to some event they had going on, and we were going to have to wait ANOTHER week. We decided we wanted her now, and we would get her spayed in TN. So my parents met them halfway (I was in school) and brought her home to TN.

The first several months were great, I was so in love with her, and she was the perfect little dog. Then one day my sister had her outside on her leash using the bathroom when she saw some neighbor dogs loose in our (unfenced) yard. Chloe ran toward them, and her leash snapped! She fought with the huge dogs (an ACD and two lab/gsds) until my mom saw it and screamed so loud that it startled the dogs and it gave Chloe a chance to run up to the house. My mom and sister brought her in with blood all over her and them, and when I saw her I was so scared. She looked so bad. She was in shock and had TONS of puncture wounds all over her and her stomach looked like it was bleeding from the inside (she had herniated, badly). We rushed her to the vet and they had to do emergency surgery. I sat there with blood on my shirt and hands just shaking (probably in shock myself) and crying, and thinking "I can't lose her, I can't live without this dog." We went home and waited for the vet to call.

Eventually she did, and Chloe had survived the surgery but was still on rough shape. She would remain on IVs and be kept under close supervision until closing and then she would come home for the night and be sent back to the vet the next day to remain under supervision and be kept on the IVs. We went to pick her up and she looked terrible. Holes all over her body, and she could hardly move except to wag her tail at us when we got there. <3 When we got her home, we layed her down on the couch and I sat there and watched her breathe for hours because I was so scared she would stop breathing. But time passed and we put our mattress on the floor and slept down there with her for the next couple weeks, and it took a lot of wound flushing, bandage changes, and time, but she started to heal. :) That was 3 years ago. And aside from the scars, she absolutely perfect. :)

Sorry it was such a long story, but I felt like I needed to explain. Long story short, I wanted her before I met her. I loved her the second I laid eyes on her. I knew she was mine when I drove away with tears in my eyes. And I knew I couldn't live without her when I almost lost her. She is my heart. :) I tell her that I love her every single day, and I hope we've got a lot of days left. <3

Since this is so long I will do Violet in another post, later.
 

Maxy24

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#51
I didn't like Tucker for the first two weeks, he was a puppy after all. I don't think I can bond with a young puppy, they always seem so generic to me. I remember having a MUCH harder time leaving my cats to go to college than leaving him. I still loved and cared about him of course. But I think my the first time I came home to visit I was able to start bonding with him since he'd toned the biting down. Over Christmas break is probably when he became totally my boy.


I formed an instant bond with a dog I met at the shelter a few weeks ago though, I've never fallen that head over heels for a dog before despite volunteering at shelters since early high school.
 
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#52
With our very first dog, Danny, it took me maybe a month to warm up to him. I was in fourth grade when my parents surprised us with a 1 year old, 80 pound collie. Except for a couple weeks in a foster home, he had lived his whole life on a farm, and he was pretty wild at first. To be honest, I was afraid of him for a bit - we'd never had a dog before, and I hadn't really been around that many. I did bond with him pretty quickly after that, but he was never really "my" dog, even though I did most of his training.

Cricket was pretty instantaneous. I got her at four months old, and I knew she was mine as soon as I saw her peering out of her crate in the breeder's car. I had her out and walked around with her for maybe 10 minutes before I had to go help with something (this was at a dog show), so I gave her back to the breeder for a minute. She watched me go and whined. I already belonged to her.

Journey and Newton were a little different, because they were born in our house, so we were the first people they really bonded with.
 
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#53
I hesitate to say it, because I waffle between believing you only get ONE heart dog, and believing you have to be super lucky to get a dog like a heart dog more than once, but our relationship is approaching that point. Sure, there are still crossed wires, and misscommunications, but even with my husband who actually speaks English and is capable of telling me in plain English how he's feeling in that actual moment we have the same issues. But really, Indy and I just "get" each other, much clearer than any of the other dogs I've worked with or had or have now.
This is kind of how I've grown to feel about Squash. Roxy was absolutely the best dog I've ever known, and when people use the term "heart dog" I think of her and that's her, exactly. When she died I was devastated and still hardly a day goes by that I don't think about her.

But my relationship/bond with Squash is turning out very similar. Sometimes it actually creeps me out a little, to be honest. And I don't think it has anything to do with getting him as a puppy... I'm not sure how to articulate it but he just seems to get what I'm asking from him and I get what he's asking from me. When we are working on skills or tricks, whether it's luring or shaping, he guesses correctly what I want much earlier in the process than my other dogs. If he's having trouble with something, I guess correctly what he needs to help him much better than I do with the other dogs. Maybe it's a by product of working so much with him, but at least some of it is just the way he is.
 

Laurelin

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#54
Nikki was definitely my childhood heart dog, if that is possible. She was so special to me. And Sumer, she's been absolutely amazing. We don't 'get' each other in quite the same way, though. But she's seen me through so much.

Mia is my little girl though. Through and through and the feeling seems to be mutual. We are together constantly as much as possible. All the other dogs will be in another room and Mia is curled up at my feet. We are total opposites in so many ways. Mia is loud and super active. I'm pretty quiet and chill. We're both a little obsessive and antisocial though. I don't know why but Mia is just right for me. Luckily I like her since everyone else finds her tiresome.

The funny thing is that Nikki and Mia are a lot alike in a lot of ways. My family does say that Nikki was nicer and not as obnoxious but a lot of their temperament traits overlap.
 

Jenne

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#55
A friend sent me a pic of Chase and I was like, "meh", but then I saw a pic of his brother and I was in instant love with the brother, Versace. SO I contacted the breeder and asked him to bring both male puppies. I loved the look of Versace, but Chase was the one I connected with... He was so cute and affectionate and when I went to go look at his brother, he followed close behind. He didn't leave my side the entire time I was deciding, Chase kinda chose me. I took him home that day.

Our bond was instant. He never cried if I was close, but if I left the room he would follow me immediately whining if I moved too fast for him to keep up. I think umbilical training really helped us bond more closely as well. It's only been recently that he goes outside by himself and leaves the room I'm in.
 

RBark

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#56
The bond between Kobe and I took several years. I loved him from the get go, but he always felt more like Ollie's friend not my dog. It wasn't until it was just me and him that our bond deepened and I fell in love. At this point in my life, I could not take care of 99% of dogs with my 12 hour work days and semi-frequent work trips.

I almost feel as though it was some kind of fate that brought him to me. I can't imagine life without a dog. Kobe saved me from that. He has become a very special dog to me in his own way, in ways that Priscilla and Ollie could never have.
 
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#57
It took abit. The first few weeks were OK. The difficult part came at about 4 - 6 months. Holy hell... Literal blood, sweat, and tears. It was really frustrating for both of us and there were alot of ups & downs. But funnily, working through that actually bonded us alot closer lol.
 

RedHotDobe

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#58
I hated her, and she hated me. She was not the puppy I wanted, and she had no interest in me. I was the one baiting her while she was being stacked on the table at three months, and she just looked at me as if to say, "**** you and **** your cheese." She puked all over herself on the car ride home, and I got to carry her puke-soaked puppy self to the bathroom. She slept draped over my chest that night. I wouldn't call that the point where I decided I loved her, but I did decide that she might be somewhat okay. Until she started screaming and destroying everything in sight... She's a hard dog to bond with. Despite living a large portion of her life with my parents and sisters, she has no real connection to them. She's fond of Adam, but he's more of her second choice. She gets me, and if she didn't use that understanding to constantly irritate me for her amusement, I might appreciate it more. :p

Duke was definitely almost instant. He was much more mild-mannered and respectful, and not an obnoxious puppy. He was a huge bundle of nerves, but his overwhelming desire to please made him endearing. I don't think we ever came to know and understand each other like Rumor and I have, but I liked him much quicker than I did Rumor.
 

Shakou

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#59
With Charlotte it was. From the moment my husband sent me a picture of her and said "I adopted this dog!", I melted instantly.

With Ma'ii, I was very happy we got him, but the bond took time.
 

Upendi&Mina

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#60
I loved Cara from the moment I saw her, she was mine and I was hers and we never looked back. However with every other dog I've had it's taken a bit, it took nearly a week for Mercy to really feel like "my" dog.
 

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