I feel you - mine's quite long, too... Well, probably mid back. It's thick, out of control, and stuck between curly and straight. So I usually leave it down, some times I pin back my bangs, or leave it all loose and crazy.
Putting mine in a ponytail HURTS me, literally. I've cried trying to put my hair up, before. Sucks cause for work right now, it has to be up and in a bun to go under my day cap.
Another thing I sometimes do when it hurts too bad to put a normal pony tail up is a half pony tail on the top, and then take then bottom that was left loose and add it to the top half pony tail, so two pony tails, but they're semi secured together (all on the back of my head). It's different, and I'm VERY comfortable with my hair like that... Hmmm... maybe that's how I'll do it in the morning...?
Anyway, not much help, but I do feel you.