Two funny marriage jokes...

[Martoch]

A man and woman, who have never met before, but who are both
married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same
sleeping room on a totally booked transcontinental train.
Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they
were both very tired and fell asleep quickly he in the upper bunk and
she in the lower.

At 1:00 AM, the man leaned over and gently woke the woman saying,
"Ma'am. I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach
into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold." "I
have a better idea," she replied. "Just for tonight, let's pretend that
we're married." "Wow, that's a great idea!" he exclaimed. "Good," she
replied. "Get your own damned blanket!"
After a moment of silence, he farted.

____________________________________________________________

A man recently forgot his wedding anniversary, and resultantly, the present for his wife. Angered by this, his wife said:
"I had better wake up in the morning, and find something in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 3 seconds, or we're through!"
She woke up to find a scale in the driveway.
Funeral arrangements are for this Friday.

 

[oc_spirit]

hehehehe those are good!

 

[Zoom]

Oooh, snap! Thanks for sharing!

 

[Denaluvscorgis]

good ones!!LOL

 

[sparks19]

and the moral of those stories.....




The woman ALWAYS wins so stop fighting it

 

[Martoch]

How can we make up if we don't fight?

 

[avenlee]

LOl, I've heard both of these before but still enjoyed reading them again

 

[Saje]

I like them! But the "and his funeral is..." kicker is a pet peeve. It's not necessary. We get that he got in trouble!!!! (yelling at the joke not anyone here)

 

[Renee750il]

Then there was the guy sitting in the bar.

He'd laugh hysterically, then sob uncontrollably.

After an hour or so of watching this strange behaviour, the bartender was curious, so he asked the fellow what the problem was.

"Well," the fellow said, "my wife has been nagging me for a Jaguar for the last five years. That's all I heard. Over and over and over and over. We couldn't afford it, but finally, I saved my bonuses for the last three years, took out a second mortgage and sold everything I could and bought her that Jaguar she's been nagging me about."

The bartender still didn't understand why this fellow had such mixed emotions . . .

"It's like this," the fellow explained: "I brought the Jag home and told her it was out in the garage. She was ecstatic and ran out to see it . . . and the dam* thing ate her."

 

[chloesowner]

A man recently forgot his wedding anniversary, and resultantly, the present for his wife. Angered by this, his wife said:
"I had better wake up in the morning, and find something in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 3 seconds, or we're through!"
She woke up to find a scale in the driveway.
Funeral arrangements are for this Friday.

*Funeral music* Ouch

LOL Those are funny!