trying to read Twilight

[vanillasugar]

I promised my best friend that I would read Twilight (she's one of the masses that are obsessed with it and lent me her 1st edition hardcover). I'm trying. Really I am... but it's not going well.

I first tried to get into it almost two weeks ago, got about 20 pages in and forgot about it. I picked it up again tonight and 5 pages further I just *can't* do it.

It's a TERRIBLE book!! The writing is painful, and even if I didn't know the premise it would be completely transparent. I want to read it because I promised Meaghan I would... and I want to be a good friend like that. But it's painful! How on earth has this become a phenomenon? Usually once I start a book you're hard pressed to pull it from my hands until I'm finished, but this one reading even just a few pages is tiresome and frustrating.

 

[PoodleMommy]

your a far better friend than I am... :lol-sign:

I would never read a book for someone... I usually read things that everyone else finds boring. I never enjoy things that are popular

 

[vanillasugar]

PM I'm usually the same way, in fact I've been avoiding Twilight almost purely *because* of it's popularity. But she loves it so much I wanted to be able to at least appreciate why... but it's not going as planned.

 

[Izzy's Valkyrie]

I read book one and stopped after that. The plot was predictable so I saw no reason to read the rest. I was disappointed with the movie casting so I didn't bother with the film lol. It got popular because it's not above grade school reading difficulty and even popular bubble girls will read a vampire novel with romance in it.

ETA: Excuse the bitterness in the words, I got a lot of crap for my reading list in highschool and I couldn't help but snark when the "popular" girls at school started reading these "vampire novels"

 

[snugglz]

Don't worry about it's popularity and just sit down and try to enjoy it. It really is pretty good if you don't take it too seriously.

 

[noludoru]

*pat pat*

Just watch the movie. Make sure to watch the trailer first, then the Twilight Trailer Parody on Youtube, then the 'Jizz in My Pants' music video so you can have fun pointing out all the jizz faces, and after you've seen the sparkle scene, put the movie on pause and search for a video on youtube titled 'TWILIGHT PARODY.' After that, resume watching the movie and shouting "DO YOU WANT A VAMPIRE RIDE!?" and "he/she just jizzed in his/her pants!" for the rest of the evening!

Also, make sure you do this with a friend who also enjoys mocking Twilight, preferably with food and alcoholic drinks. It's so much more fun than reading the book.

 

[Izzy's Valkyrie]

lol! I just watched Jizz in my pants again for the first time since Winter break a minute ago and thought of Twilight!

 

[noludoru]

Well, duh. When you think 'jizz faces' you think Edward!

 

[Zoom]

Ok, now I want to go do that....

 

[Romy]

:rofl1::rofl1::rofl1: at this thread

Somehow slogged my way through all of them. Bella is sooo whiny. ARGH. Most of the time I felt like punching her in the face, but made it to the end. Was it worth it? Not really, except that it provided me with the motivation to keep working on my own projects. Hey, if that could get published, let alone become a phenomenon, then I can do it too. It was kind of a testament to, "hey, anybody can do this" :music_guitarred:

 

[Saje]

The movie was crap too. So weak. Lacking in character development. I had the feeling I needed to read the book first to really understand the characters and that's just lame.

 

[yoko]

Finally!! I feel your pain. I HATED that book

 

[puppydog]

I saw the book in a store window for the first time the other day. I just refuse to see the relevance of such utter crap!

 

[vanillasugar]

*pat pat*

Just watch the movie. Make sure to watch the trailer first, then the Twilight Trailer Parody on Youtube, then the 'Jizz in My Pants' music video so you can have fun pointing out all the jizz faces, and after you've seen the sparkle scene, put the movie on pause and search for a video on youtube titled 'TWILIGHT PARODY.' After that, resume watching the movie and shouting "DO YOU WANT A VAMPIRE RIDE!?" and "he/she just jizzed in his/her pants!" for the rest of the evening!

Also, make sure you do this with a friend who also enjoys mocking Twilight, preferably with food and alcoholic drinks. It's so much more fun than reading the book.

BAHAHAHA! That sounds like SO much more fun than trying to struggle through this book.

I talked to another friend of mine who said the first 3 chapters are torturous but it gets a bit better after that. *sigh*

 

[maxfox426]

My sister-in-law made me read Twilight last year (she was 16 and in love with Edward Cullen). I actually made it through the first book, but then I was done.

I totally see why the middle school/high school age bracket is so enamored with these books. The author SERIOUSLY knows her target audience! LOL! As long as you are female and between the age of 13-17, it's perfect. Whiny, awkward girl gets the hot, untouchable guy. It's every teenage girl's dream!

As for me, I'm with you Nilly. I just don't think it's particularly well written. The thing that bothered me the worst was the blatant redundancy of the text. I swear, every other sentence had the word "bleak" in it.

My husband and I had a funny conversation afterwards, though. He's a total book junky, and when I finished reading Twilight he started asking me about it, trying to gauge if he wanted to read it, too. I think he was more interested in just seeing how bad it really was (since I'd complained about it), but he was still curious since it was the big craze.

HUSBAND: So, what did you think? Should I give it a read?
ME: It's not really written for you.
HUSBAND: Yeah... I heard that half of it is just describing how hot the guy is.
ME: Not half. ALL of it is just describing how hot the guy is.
HUSBAND: ...
ME: I can see why your sister loves it so much.
HUSBAND: I don't think I need to read that after all.


:rofl1:

(The conversation isn't 100% accurate, just because I can't remember word-for-word, but the general gist is intact.)

 

[CharlieDog]

For those of you who read (and hated) the book

oxymoronassoc: saint_renegade: I like how we turned Edward into a 40 year old mother on a bad day.

 

[eddieq]

I'm glad I am not the only person to find that book unreadable. My 13 year old daughter read them all and enjoyed them. When she is into a book or series like that, I like to try to read them also so we have a common thing to discuss. I have read the entire harry potter series and the eragon series so far plus a tween novel called "Everlost" (which I actually found and purchased and gave to her because I liked it). I also have read the first few books of the "Rangers Apprentice" series. On Twilight, I handed it back to her with the bookmark still in the 2nd chapter and told her, "I can't read it. It's so tedious it makes my brain hurt." She said that was fine.

I didn't think the Twilight movie was a bad movie, but I'm easy on that point. I was entertained the whole time, so that's fine.

 

[puppydog]

What is the nonsense with the sparkly rubbish too?

 

[noludoru]

Ok, now I want to go do that....

You should. It's how I spent Friday night. There were plenty of Doberman-cuddles, too, though, so even if it hadn't been fun it would have been tolerable.

For those of you who read (and hated) the book

oxymoronassoc: saint_renegade: I like how we turned Edward into a 40 year old mother on a bad day.

WIN.

I would like to add this one for those who just want the gist of Twilight, complete with amazing quotes. The New Moon Recap is where it gets hilarious, though. She has all of them except Twilight with chapter by chapter recap/commentaries. Don't read them while drinking anything.

ETA: Puppydog, Edward is a sparkly vampire. I call them Sparklepires. He, um, sparkles in the sun which is why he lives in the cloudiest place in North America; except that Stephenie Meyer got it wrong and Forks actually isn't the cloudiest place in North America, but who cares about getting details like that right!

Another edit, because I am as addicted to mocking Twilight as I am to trying on ugly clothes to point at myself in the mirror and laugh. This quote needed to be shared:

Chapter 5: This is where I started skimming. Hard. You've heard of porn without plot (PWP)? I read these books for sparkle without plot (SWP). WHERE IS MY SPARKLING?

"Hi, Jacob! I was wondering if you could help me commit suicide by motorcycle? I'll never get this thing up and killing me by myself."

 

[vanillasugar]

You should. It's how I spent Friday night. There were plenty of Doberman-cuddles, too, though, so even if it hadn't been fun it would have been tolerable.



WIN.

I would like to add this one for those who just want the gist of Twilight, complete with amazing quotes. The New Moon Recap is where it gets hilarious, though. She has all of them except Twilight with chapter by chapter recap/commentaries. Don't read them while drinking anything.

ETA: Puppydog, Edward is a sparkly vampire. I call them Sparklepires. He, um, sparkles in the sun which is why he lives in the cloudiest place in North America; except that Stephenie Meyer got it wrong and Forks actually isn't the cloudiest place in North America, but who cares about getting details like that right!

Nolu, that first link has convinced me that I absolutely can not continue reading this book. HILARIOUS!