Think I'm about to upset my Grandpa

[skittledoo]

My Grandpa sent me an email yesterday inviting me over for Christmas. There's nothing like sorta last minute Christmas plans huh? Anyways... I wrote him back saying that I would love to come over, but I want to be able to bring Bamm. He wrote me back saying that he and my Grandma don't think that's a good idea because there's going to be a lot of people there (7 family members plus me). There house is HUGE (tri-level) and I had even offered to crate him most of the time in my old bedroom which is in the basement. Still the answer is no and I respect that since it's their house... BUT... that means that I'm probably not going to spend Christmas with them because this is Bamm's first Christmas with me and it's important to me that he be a part of it even if he's a dog and doesn't understand what Christmas is all about. I wanted him with me not only just because it's his first Christmas with me, but also because I still need to be able to walk him on potty breaks and I really wanted to show him to my aunt because none of them have ever seen him even though they live 15 minutes down the road. I haven't seen them in probably a year if not longer. They live 15 minutes from me and we never see each other... can you tell how close I am to my family?

Thing is... I don't have a major relationship with hardly anyone in my family. My dog and cat ARE my family...

Anyways... I just know that if I tell them that I'm just going to stay home then they're not going to understand... but it is what it is right? This way I'm respecting their wishes to not have my dog in their home and also still spending my Christmas with Bamm.

 

[Renee750il]

Careful, Amber. You're going to turn into me if you don't watch it!

 

[RedyreRottweilers]

Maybe since they are so close you could go for the meal. Just stay for a short time and then go back home?

As a person who is getting older, family and those family times you remember get more and more important.

Grand parents are not forever.

I say go for a short visit, come back home to Bamm, and it will all be good. You get to see your family, have a 2008 Christmas memory of them, and hey, what's an hour or two, huh?

 

[skittledoo]

Well Renee... didn't you know this is what I'm aiming for? When I grows up I wanna be Renee!

 

[skittledoo]

The only problem Red is that I don't have a car so I can't just go, eat and then leave... I'm at their mercy. My grandpa was going to pick me up at noon and then drop me off way later in the evening... that's basically my whole day

 

[PoodleMommy]

Yea I agree with Red... if they are 15 minutes away go for an hour or so only and than say you are sorry you have to leave but you must get home to Bamm.

But I probably wouldnt go at all in the same situation so my advice is very hypocritical.

Sorry we were posting at the same time... I didnt see your explanation to Red.

 

[Renee750il]

Well Renee... didn't you know this is what I'm aiming for? When I grows up I wanna be Renee!

Then you have to scratch a good deal of the part where you "grow up" by everyone else's standards

Not real sure why anyone would want to be me, though

 

[CanadianFreeSpirit]

I NEVER go to family functions. my dogs are not allowed, and since I consider them my children, just as my siblings do their kids, well, I'm a "package deal". love me, love my dogs. or don't expect me to be around.

 

[RedyreRottweilers]

Well then you just tell them you would LOVE to come, but you can't come if Bamm can't come because you can't/won't leave him for more than 4 hours without relief.

UNLESS someone will make themselves available to bring you back home sooner.

This way it makes it their decision in a way.

I say you are no better than any of the rest of us who have to suffer through holiday family gatherings. LMAO!!!

At least this year I don't have a family member out whoring with the worst white trash in 3 counties, so we will probably not have that sort of tire squeeling/gunfire/shouting match/jerryspringer holiday like we did several years ago.

See, could be worse.

 

[bubbatd]

I understand how you feel , but I think you should go .

 

[Renee750il]

I'm bad about it. I avoid all family gatherings at all costs. If I absolutely am compelled - or if I'm in a mood - I show up . . . with Kharma.

When you don't have a car, though, that's a whole different set of problems.

You've gotta make the decision you can live with.

 

[Dekka]

How far away is it, can you take a cab back? If not then tell them while you would love to come you can't leave him for that long.

No grandparents aren't forever. BUT you can visit them at other times of year when its not so busy and hectic too.

 

[Renee750il]

Nope. Grandparents aren't forever.

Neither are dogs.

 

[Zoom]

I'd see if I couldn't work something out since they are fairly close...I've learned to take every opportunity I can to see my family and am still pissed off at the fact that I had to miss my mom's side of the family when they all got together down in Phoenix for Thanksgiving.

 

[Cheza]

Oh that's a crappy decision to have to make isn't it...

I agree with what Red suggested... turn it into a decision on their end, and see if someone can drop you back off at home after a couple of hours. That makes it kind of a win-win.

I'm lucky enough that Rob's parents (who we are doing Christmas with) love the twin terrors to the point that they ask if we're bringing them every time we go over. So the girls will be included in the family stuff too.

I hope everything works out!

 

[Labyrinth]

Well then you just tell them you would LOVE to come, but you can't come if Bamm can't come because you can't/won't leave him for more than 4 hours without relief.

UNLESS someone will make themselves available to bring you back home sooner.

This way it makes it their decision in a way.

This is an excellent idea. My husband and I are going to be flying to my parent's place xmas day, but it's going to be a short trip because I need to be home to medicate one of my ferrets and the airline won't allow me to bring her on board. I told my parents I could either make a short trip, or just stay home and they opted for the short trip.

 

[milos_mommy]

Maybe since they are so close you could go for the meal. Just stay for a short time and then go back home?

As a person who is getting older, family and those family times you remember get more and more important.

Grand parents are not forever.

I say go for a short visit, come back home to Bamm, and it will all be good. You get to see your family, have a 2008 Christmas memory of them, and hey, what's an hour or two, huh?

Agree with this...go for a short time.

 

[M&M's Mommy]

Nope. Grandparents aren't forever.

Neither are dogs.

So sorry Renee, but it just doesn't sound right to me to put our dogs in comparison to our grandparents !! :yikes:

Skittle, I am with Grammy, Red & everyone else who totally understand how you feel about not being able to bring Bamm, but think you should go. If not for the entire time, then at least for the meal. You can explain to your grandpa that you don't really want to go without Bamm because of such and such, but in light of Christmas, you're making an effort.. hopefully he will, too.

Years down the road, when your grandparents are no longer alive, you may find yourself wishing to give everything you own, just to spend one more Christmas with them but then you can't. You may regret not joining them for this Chistmas while you still can.

 

[Renee750il]

Trust me, Theresa, on my dad's side, the dogs were DEFINITELY the choice to make when it came to grandparents or dogs.

On my mom's side, with the exception of Nanny and Granddaddy, the dogs are by far superior in all ways, and they both would have said to go with the dogs

 

[Buddy'sParents]

I just have to chime in here... I have seen some threads similar to this one, where someone has chosen their dogs over their family and really, I don't see a problem with it. What is that one thing we all just love about our dogs? The unconditional love that they give, right?

I am in the same boat as skittle, our families would love to see us on holidays, but on one side of the family they are simply not welcome (been there, done that, had a horrible experience and won't ever subject myself nor my dogs to it again) and the other side there is no room for my 3 giants (though they are very welcome, it's just not a safe situation). Dogs or not, they are part of MY family. They are with me everyday, give me gray hairs, make me laugh and lick the tears off of my face, so yes, I choose them- every single time. Not every family is bundles of roses either. So there are lots of reasons why I choose my dogs over our families. If circumstances were different, like we didn't live 4 hours away, then maybe we could work something out, but as far as I'm concerned, it's a two lane highway and they know where we live. If families really wanted us around then they'd make exceptions to have us around. I would never leave my kids at home and even though so many people dislike it, my dogs are my kids right at the moment.

/rant


Anyways, skittle, you have to do what you are comfortable with. If you can make the decision to not go and not regret it, then so be it. But if you're going to feel bad about and wish that you were with your family, then I would try as best as possible to work it out. Maybe you can borrow a friends car? Bus? Either way, I know where your heart is and I'm sorry you are in such a place that requires you to choose. ((HUGS))