The Venting Thread

Discussion in 'The Fire Hydrant' started by *blackrose, Sep 3, 2012.

  1. sparks19

    sparks19 I'd rather be at Disney

    Joined:
    Jul 7, 2005
    Messages:
    28,563
    Likes Received:
    3
    Trophy Points:
    38
    Occupation:
    3
    Location:
    Lancaster, PA
    Home Page:
    He obviously cares about you an it doesn't sound like an "I want to be right so you need to get over it" thing as much as a "you have been hurt and I don't want you to hurt anymore and experience what decent himan beings are really about".

    I wouldn't take it as a confrontational "do as I say So there" thing. It sounded like he was trying to be cute and funny.

    Really I think the Live and Respect series would be a hreat help here. He wants to FIX the issue. Not fix it like prepare his family but fix uour difficulties. Fix it in the way of showing you that this doesn't have to be an issue, show you that he isn't just some guy and that his family isn't just some guys family.

    Don't make it into a power struggle. Power struggles don't end well... Ever. Don't be dramatic just be honest. Ask him.... Ok, they will love me because you do... Loving is different from shock. They van love me and still be shocked and say unintentional hirtful thigs. If they are shocked and it hurts me... How will you feel? How will you handle it?

    We don't really have a racism issue here but my dad and my siblings are always making "stupid american" jokes that always hurt brian. They think it's funny. We don't. It is a hard thing to deal with and it is hard for me to stand up to them. Thankfully, Brian doesn't blame me for my weakness or put it on me to fIX it. He knows my struggle. He knows i am not trying to be disrespectful or comfrontational or that I don't care. He knows that it is hard for me.
     
  2. Saeleofu

    Saeleofu Active Member

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2009
    Messages:
    9,036
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    36
    I have to do homework. And I have class from 2:15 - 4:30 tomorrow, but I KNOW I'll have to be in owner-handler group with Logan at 1:30 or 2pm. I HAVE to be in class to give a presentation. I can be late, but I MUST be there before class is over. I'm stressing because I can't miss either, and THIS PRESENTATION WAS NOT ON THE SCHEDULE WHEN I REGISTERED FOR THE SHOW! :wall: I also have to be at the show grounds super early tomorrow to be sure I have time to groom and load all my crap into the car so I can LEAVE. I don't ever take Logan to zoo classes, but I do have that accommodation. We're not going behind the scenes, so technically I could take Logan if I needed to. But he's literally NEVER been to the zoo. Most of my coworkers and classmates know about him, but I'm 99% sure my instructor does not. But he won't freaking be there anyway, he found some other random person to listen to our presentations. HOW THE HELL CAN YOU GRADE PRESENTATIONS YOU DIDN'T EVEN SEE?!
     
  3. Beanie

    Beanie Clicker Cult Coordinator

    Joined:
    May 17, 2006
    Messages:
    14,011
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    36
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Illinois
    Home Page:
    Whether he thought it was cute and funny or not, it's not cute. He is flat out refusing to take her feelings into consideration at all. NOT cute. It's already a power struggle because he won't listen or talk about compromise. "That's it." twice??

    Nope. Respect must go both ways, he is being very disrespectful to Fran's feelings here.
     
  4. Red.Apricot

    Red.Apricot Active Member

    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2011
    Messages:
    2,985
    Likes Received:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    38
    Location:
    Southern California
    I am white, and my boyfriend isn't--it never would have occurred to me to tell my family in advance that he isn't.

    But!

    If he had asked me to, I would have.

    I would have let him know that I didn't think it was necessary, but I wouldn't even say that in an 'I'm not going to do it' kind of way; I'd still do so.
     
  5. sassafras

    sassafras mushinois

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2011
    Messages:
    6,405
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    36
    Location:
    Minnesota
    This right here would bother me A LOT. I think he just really likes you and wants to show you that his family is "good enough" for you, but... it's SO not about him winning or proving anything to you, it's about you being comfortable. And it's such a small thing to ask him to do to make you more comfortable - I mean, if it's not a big deal, then why is he making such a big deal about it?
     
  6. sillysally

    sillysally Obey the Toad.

    Joined:
    Sep 20, 2008
    Messages:
    5,074
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Occupation:
    2 dogs, 2 cats, 2 birds, and 1 horse
    Location:
    A hole in the bottom of the sea.
    This.
     
  7. stafinois

    stafinois Professional Nerd

    Joined:
    May 11, 2009
    Messages:
    1,617
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    Mayberry
    Home Page:
  8. FG167

    FG167 New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2012
    Messages:
    2,709
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Occupation:
    3
    Location:
    Jefferson, GA
    I agree that his heart is in the right place but it's Fran's life and feelings and she gets to decide when she's comfortable or not. If it's love, this is a SIMPLE thing to do, especially if you go the picture with the dog route. IMO.
     
  9. -bogart-

    -bogart- Member of WHODAT Nation.

    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2008
    Messages:
    3,192
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    South East Louisiana
    Fran, ask him if his mom has a Facebook. If so they probably already know. I follow my kids because we don't see him a lot. And I love to post old pics of him and tag him. That guwrntees a call. Lol
     
  10. GipsyQueen

    GipsyQueen Active Member

    Joined:
    Feb 10, 2007
    Messages:
    6,079
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    36
    Occupation:
    2
    Location:
    Germany
    I hate starting at a new place of work. I love that I actually got the job - but they are using a totally different computer program than the one that I'm used to, and didn't really show me how to use it. Totally making me paniky and peaking my anxiety. :(
     
  11. Jules

    Jules Magic, motherf@%$*#!

    Joined:
    Jan 13, 2006
    Messages:
    7,204
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Occupation:
    3
    Location:
    Indiana
    While I do agree that it is important for him to respect you, Fran, and your wishes... If I had a boyfriend, who would make the request you made, I'd also be like "wut?" It would create an awful, weird situation if I'd stress to my parents and warned them that my SO has a different skin color, because they truly do not care.

    I would go ahead and trust him... He probably knows his parents best and most likely, already told them that your family is from Haiti.
     
  12. Saeleofu

    Saeleofu Active Member

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2009
    Messages:
    9,036
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    36
    STUPID PEOPLE WON'T STAY OUT OF MY GROOMING SPACE! My grooming space is notl a hallway! Yes, you WILL get stuck on the zip ties poking out from my crate when you rub against that. You know what would fix that? WALKING IN THE ****ING AISLE!!!
     
  13. GipsyQueen

    GipsyQueen Active Member

    Joined:
    Feb 10, 2007
    Messages:
    6,079
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    36
    Occupation:
    2
    Location:
    Germany
    HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO WAIT 7 MORE WEEKS TILL PUPPY COMES HOME.




    lowercase.
     
  14. Southpaw

    Southpaw orange iguanas.

    Joined:
    Jul 31, 2005
    Messages:
    7,788
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    38
    Occupation:
    7
    Location:
    Minnesota
    I hate being female. :( I'm in such horrendous pain today. Called in sick to work which makes me feel sooo bad because that means they're really short handed today. There's no way I could function though. Don't think I'd even be able to safely drive.

    Today also marks 4 years since Molly's been gone. It seems impossible. I still miss her so much.
     
  15. Locke

    Locke Active Member

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2010
    Messages:
    1,919
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    36
    I called my grandma to thank her for my birthday card and present and she lays on a full out guilt trip.
    "Oh...(starts crying)...I was so sure you would stop by after your class today. (More crying) I kept thinking you'd drop by any minute" (Still crying)

    She's been pretty ill the past 3 weeks, and kept saying not to come over.
    Uuuuugghhhh...I feel like the worst granddaughter ever.
     
  16. meepitsmeagan

    meepitsmeagan Meagan & The Cattle Dog Crew

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2012
    Messages:
    3,378
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    38
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    5
    Location:
    Michigan
    Why must cute cattle dogs come up on my newsfeed?

    [​IMG]

    IT'S A PROBLEM.

    PS. Sorry it is huge. I don't know how to change the size of a FB picture.
     
  17. Dizzy

    Dizzy Sit! Good dog.

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2005
    Messages:
    17,761
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    36
    Occupation:
    Not enough.
    Location:
    Wales
    I can't stop eating!!! I'm getting super squishy!!
     
  18. Xandra

    Xandra Active Member

    Joined:
    Mar 11, 2009
    Messages:
    3,807
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    36
    Ohhh it's going to be painful!!

    Do you have preference for male or female? And are you driving to pick him/her up? If you are that'll be memorable trip lol
     
  19. *blackrose

    *blackrose "I'm kupo for kupo nuts!"

    Joined:
    May 11, 2010
    Messages:
    7,061
    Likes Received:
    3
    Trophy Points:
    38
    Occupation:
    2 dogs (and 3 half dogs and a half cat)
    Location:
    Mississippi
    I'm pretty sure the dogs smell like dead-things. I'm choosing to ignore it in hopes they will bathe themselves. Ugh.
     
  20. Locke

    Locke Active Member

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2010
    Messages:
    1,919
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    36
    Good lord, that puppy is CUTE!

    I also have SERIOUS puppy/dog want. Her description includes "she can jump quite high". Can you say disc dog??

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
     

Share This Page