The musing thread

[Beanie]

I met my boyfriend on Okcupid! Lol I guess it varies by region.. being in Boston, the site is nearly 100% college aged-people.. and I'd easily say 70% are looking for relationships.

I live in a college town too so it's... full of college boys wanting a booty call LOL.
Or old men wanting... whatever that is.

Truthfully the booty calls did not bother me so much as the creepy old men. No surprises on the college boys, they see a cute girl in the profile picture and make their move (and good Lord, Lines face-to-face are bad enough but Lines on the internet are even lamer...) The creepy old men though... gross. Nope can't do it ew ew ew. I shut that down.


A friend of mine is still on there and she started messaging with a guy who seemed nice, they were having a good conversation until his fifth message went something like "We seem to have a lot in common and I think we could get along great in person too, so I'd like to ask you out on a date, maybe we could go get dinner and see a movie and then after that I'd like to take you home and eat you out and see how many times I can make you cum."
No lie. I saw the message. I had to read it three times to make sure I wasn't hallucinating halfway through and somehow reading a totally different e-mail.

Ew ew ew shut that down ew.

 

[Fran101]

I live in a college town too so it's... full of college boys wanting a booty call LOL.
Or old men wanting... whatever that is.

Truthfully the booty calls did not bother me so much as the creepy old men. No surprises on the college boys, they see a cute girl in the profile picture and make their move (and good Lord, Lines face-to-face are bad enough but Lines on the internet are even lamer...) The creepy old men though... gross. Nope can't do it ew ew ew. I shut that down.


A friend of mine is still on there and she started messaging with a guy who seemed nice, they were having a good conversation until his fifth message went something like "We seem to have a lot in common and I think we could get along great in person too, so I'd like to ask you out on a date, maybe we could go get dinner and see a movie and then after that I'd like to take you home and eat you out and see how many times I can make you cum."
No lie. I saw the message. I had to read it three times to make sure I wasn't hallucinating halfway through and somehow reading a totally different e-mail.
Ew ew ew shut that down ew.

Stupid "lines" or saying gross things (like I wanna eat you out) at the bar I guess I'm just like whatever, you're drunk..people say dumb things.

BUT ON THE INTERNET?! You have time to edit that ****! You had to THINK about that, write it, decide it was a good idea, THEN SEND IT.

Like in what world would your friend (who obviously since they are a few messages in just isn't on the site looking for a hookup) respond well to that?!

Like what?! you want to what?! You don't even know how I am!
You couldn't make me orgasm with both hands and a map! You don't even know my last name!

 

[Beanie]

BUT ON THE INTERNET?! You have time to edit that ****! You had to THINK about that, write it, decide it was a good idea, THEN SEND IT.

I KNOW. There was seriously a point where he sat back, thought, "Yeah, that's good!" and clicked send.
WHAT.
WHAT.
WHAT.

I mean truthfully my friend probably would have slept with him if he had just straight up asked her to dinner and then afterward been like "so should we go back to my place?" But NO he decided to lead with THAT.
WHAT.

 

[meepitsmeagan]

I don't feel like I'm 21. I feel like I'm in my 30's.

Running around trying to keep the fridge full, the house clean, the dogs fed and trained and exercised, getting to work, finishing up school, keeping our marriage healthy. Saving money for our house next year, saving money for two new vehicles, saving money for a horse, planning money for propane and taxes and new tires. Buying things that are completely unnecessary to life. Full benefits and making the average salary of normal middle aged American families. It's all things society tells me that 30 year olds do. 21 year olds are supposed to be out partying and passing out in unknown peoples bed's after contracting several STI's.

Then there is planning for ACD and eventual bird dog puppy and it makes me feel like Josh and I are planning to have children. "Well this is what we need to do for these developmental stages, and this is how they should be fed, and we will have to pack a whole doggy diaper bag for the trip..." I feel like a mom. A very awkward mom who gets those glances when walking down the sidewalk. "This is the time frame we need to plan for as I will have a break in school and will be able to..." blah blah blah.

It just doesn't seem right... We aren't spoiled. Both Josh and I work our butts off for what we have. Things just happened to fall into place for us. Sometimes I feel bad because we are better off than a lot of people we know. I don't know. Late night random musings from Meagan. This probably should have been a thread.

 

[stardogs]

Don't feel bad! I never did the irresponsible 20-something things either and I LOVE that DH and I are better off than a LOT of people we know. We've worked hard to do that and we deserve it **** it!

 

[AllieMackie]

I met my boyfriend on Okcupid!

I did too, as some already know. Not trying to rub salt in wounds or anything... just that I actually had a pleasant experience for the half year or so I was perusing the site. Even the guy I dated twice before my current dude was a nice guy. Even though we didn't hit it off, he visited my store to get his dog's food and say hi (and not in a creepy sense, he's since found someone else.)

My dating site muse... kindness and a bit of openness can go a long way. I had about 80% sex-or-vague creepers, 20% nice-but-not-my-type. Current boyfriend fell into the 20% category. Like, he really did. More than others. Profile text was all super-serious mode (and uh, many of you have met crazy me...) and aside for a few similar interests and morals, nothing clicked. But he started off talking about craft beer, so I amused it for the first few back-and-forth messages, and today here we are.

If my brief experience with dating sites have taught me anything at all, the profiles don't give the full measure of the person. At all. I mean things like kids and such? Yeah, those are bigger. Even then, they may not be quite as they appear.

 

[Julee]

I've been starting my day very consistently at 9am-9:30am. It's nice.

 

[AdrianneIsabel]

I've been starting my day very consistently at 9am-9:30am. It's nice.

I start mine at 5-530, the jealousy I have for your schedule is immense.

 

[Michiyo-Fir]

I saw War Horse, the theater production a few nights ago and it was amazing.

For those of you that love horses, the puppetry of those horses are phenomenal! If it ever passes through your area or you're in London, go see it! Highly recommended!

 

[*blackrose]

I don't feel like I'm 21. I feel like I'm in my 30's.

Me, too. Only finances are a little bit tighter for us and I'm currently not in the "buy all the nice things!" phase because I'll be moving next year and don't really have any motivation to deal with decor until I know we'll be somewhat stationary for a bit. I, too, have a diaper bag for my dogs when they come to work with me. LOL I'm 22...in the next year I'll be married, across the country from my family, being 100% responsible for everything, and most likely planning for a child. Thinking about that makes me go . It seemed like just yesterday I was at home being a kid!

You couldn't make me orgasm with both hands and a map! You don't even know my last name!

:rofl1: My most favorite line ever today.

 

[Southpaw]

Now everywhere I go, my nerdiness will be on display:

But it only cost me $3! How could I NOT buy it??

 

[Oko]

Today I learned that some people I thought were ok and nice are really, really not. Not really a vent because after initial upset ness, I was like 'why do I care about these doinks?' And got over it. Just, surprising. And I miss some people I'm surprised I miss, and it's making me nostalgic and hum. Very much a musing.

Also, why do these questions have to be so sick?

Why the heck is a cat missing THREE LEGS!!??

 

[Zoom]

Given that I just spent money on snowboarding equipment, I should be happy it's snowing, right?

But it's October 4th. It's too early for snow!

 

[Southpaw]

So conflicted.
Have to go into work 1.5 hours early tomorrow for a staff meeting: NAY.
Meeting is a lunch and learn, so I get free Noodles & Co for lunch: YAY.

:dunno:

 

[Saeleofu]

So conflicted.
Have to go into work 1.5 hours early tomorrow for a staff meeting: NAY.
Meeting is a lunch and learn, so I get free Noodles & Co for lunch: YAY.

:dunno:

The only lunch and learns I ever liked were Merial's, because FREE FRONTLINE AND HEARTGARD YAY! lol

 

[CaliTerp07]

How does one tell if a therapist/counselor is "good" or not? Have had several sessions, but how does one tell if her methods/style/advice is sound? Just gut instinct?

 

[Southpaw]

The only lunch and learns I ever liked were Merial's, because FREE FRONTLINE AND HEARTGARD YAY! lol

Yeah this one won't be as cool lol. We're just learning about the different medicated shampoos. Because we realized there's quite a few, but none of us actually know what they do lol.

 

[*blackrose]

Yeah this one won't be as cool lol. We're just learning about the different medicated shampoos. Because we realized there's quite a few, but none of us actually know what they do lol.

I *love* our medicated shampoos. I worked on the grooming side for about 5 years - they work and do WONDERS for skin conditions when used as directed. I think the proper medicated shampoo can make or break a successful treatment of a skin/coat issue.

 

[Fran101]

How does one tell if a therapist/counselor is "good" or not? Have had several sessions, but how does one tell if her methods/style/advice is sound? Just gut instinct?

gut instinct mostly.
(also, if possible, a chat with a long time client or two. I happened to find them and get a recommendation TO my current therapist)

IMO it takes a few sessions to feel each other out.
I like a therapist that has a plan, that doesn't ruffle easily, that isn't there to give me "feel good points" or coddle, that gives me tools to cope/deal (other than more sessions),that listens intently and gives feedback, that asks me questions that help ME get to the root of my problem, not try to find them himself and spoon feed them to me.

AKA:
I've had therapists that do this..
"The problem is your feelings towards mother. You feel inadequate because she did x, y, z."
Instead of this..
"How did you come to that conclusion? Where do you feel the pressure comes from? What are the standards you hold yourself to? Who are you really angry at?"

I need to go down the rabbit hole MYSELF and figure out the problem..it's like teaching! You don't just give them answers you give them the tools to cope, to find the answers within themselves.

Oh and don't ask me how I feel or tell me how I feel. Feelings are complicated, I am trying my best to explain them but nodding your head and saying. "How does that make you feel?" makes me want to stab you with a pencil.

IMO a good therapist should make you feel secure, listened to, but also should not be afraid to poke at your issues, to make you dig deeper, and should have a plan in place that you are comfortable with on how to deal with whatever you throw at him/her.
They all have ideologies and methods, you've just gotta find one that you feel would work for you.

There is no one size fits all. Some people like therapists that are more like friends (sounding boards, they give advice, they bring in their lives/real world examples, they chat..) some like more professional demeanors.. there are methods that are drastic and new, and some more old school.
Slow and steady or fast paced and tackling issues head one.. some people need tough love and some need to be taken slowly or they shut down..

Took me about 9 therapists to find one that was just right lol and I've had a few that were GREAT, just not what I needed.

 

[AllieMackie]

How does one tell if a therapist/counselor is "good" or not? Have had several sessions, but how does one tell if her methods/style/advice is sound? Just gut instinct?

The answer will vary slightly by person, but for me it was a combination of feeling comfortable with the way they present the difficult questions, how they help me work through it, and overall, if I feel their system and technique will mesh with me.

(I went through a few before finding one that truly felt right. Don't feel badly if you think you should try someone else.)