That's it! I'm done!

juliefurry

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#21
Idiots? We're talking about husbands now? My idiot doesn't understand the signs that I use to get Hannah to sit, lay down, or stay, so he just thinks telling her will work (which it doesn't) then he gets mad because she won't listen to him. Then I'll come up tell her to sit and give her the hand signal and she'll sit perfectly. I have tried showing him atleast once a day and it just doesn't sink into his head. Oh well, he's my loveable idiot so I guess it's ok.
 
Y

yuckaduck

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#22
juliefurry said:
Idiots? We're talking about husbands now? My idiot doesn't understand the signs that I use to get Hannah to sit, lay down, or stay, so he just thinks telling her will work (which it doesn't) then he gets mad because she won't listen to him. Then I'll come up tell her to sit and give her the hand signal and she'll sit perfectly. I have tried showing him atleast once a day and it just doesn't sink into his head. Oh well, he's my loveable idiot so I guess it's ok.

My idiot is like that too. He gives the wrong hand signals and Yukon does it and then he tells me the dog is stupid. Um no he did exactly what you asked idiot. But I love him and he tries hard.
 

Doberluv

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#23
Well, that's really nice that you love these nice men you have. You're very lucky. My post is about a creep who abused his dog and that upset me a lot. I feel helpless to do anything because the SPCA wouldn't consider that abuse probably. But in my mind, something like that is cruel and sadistic and I wish to he!! I could do something. Poor little thing.
 
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yuckaduck

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#24
Doberluv said:
Well, that's really nice that you love these nice men you have. You're very lucky. My post is about a creep who abused his dog and that upset me a lot. I feel helpless to do anything because the SPCA wouldn't consider that abuse probably. But in my mind, something like that is cruel and sadistic and I wish to he!! I could do something. Poor little thing.

Do the best you can within the parameters of the law. I wish there was something else you could do but if the dog has food, water and shelter, then probably unless you see him beating the heck out of the dog there is nothing that you can do. Rubbing the dogs nose in it's poop really is not considered abuse. I know many people who house train their dogs that way and somehow the dogs learn to not mess in the house. I use the crate. Mess in the house in the crate you go until your time to go out. There are many many ways to house train some right some wrong but you will never change some people. My parents are old school and they rub the dogs nose in it. Their dog is house trained and he loves them so it is not the end of the world.
 
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#25
Doberluv said:
Well, that's really nice that you love these nice men you have. You're very lucky. My post is about a creep who abused his dog and that upset me a lot. I feel helpless to do anything because the SPCA wouldn't consider that abuse probably. But in my mind, something like that is cruel and sadistic and I wish to he!! I could do something. Poor little thing.
There is something you can do_Offer to help him learn how to treat his dogs.That poor min Pin being thrown into a garbage can.I hope you can convince him that is not the way to treat dogs.I am sorry for Hijacking the thread on you.Please dont be mad ok.
 

Zoom

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#26
Hey, at least you have the sense to get out while you can and before he starts really turn on you!
 

RD

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#28
OMG, you spent six months with this idiot?
If a guy refuses to treat his dogs as well as he would treat himself or his kids, I think it's a big "stay away" sign. And locking a dog in a garbage can? What in the world is that supposed to accomplish?
 

smkie

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#30
thank you for adding your last post Richie cause i was gonna say..you don't grow up to be one, your born one. and son if there is one thing you are absolutely not going to be when you grow up..it is an idiot. you have shown more compassion, intelligence and sencerity then most of the men i have met up to now. If you were my son i would very very very proud of you. Now all these gurls gonna be checking you out :D
 

smkie

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#31
doberluv i have had to walk away from more then one dog in more then one bad situation and i am sorry. Jim didn't leave instructions for Annie and Garg (mary's brother) the last time i saw them Annie was horribly overweight and so was garg..plus the son was adopting a pitbull puppy when he hasn't a clue how to properly raise one. Garg was such a huge alpha it was never ever going to work but i couldn't tell him or prevent it. Old boss and i got in such an arguement once i threw the flower pots at him (close to him) i begged him for a gun to let me put those parvo puppies out of their misery..he thought they still might come out of it, they didn't. We got hit and didn't even know what parvo was back then (very early 70's) .i was still in my early teens and had watched 25 puppies die in 24 hours..i was losing it completely...leaving that kennel of gaurd dogs robbed me of sleep for years. i tried to report and have made sure that anyone with ears knows what i think of this man's breeding and training program..i am glad that you saw the red flag of personality and got out before it was you treated like that in some different situation cause a jerk is a jerk and they just don't change.
 

Doberluv

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#32
GSgurl, don't worry about it. I do that all the time. It's fun to see how conversations evolve. I just brought it back around because I'm still all tense and distraught over this little dog. I just can't seem to shake it easily. So, I'm bugging you guys, I know. I'm such a weah weah at times. I know I sound tough but I'm not really when it comes right down to it or something like this.

Yeah, it's not the rubbing the dog's nose in poop. That, he did when they were pups. That's mean and nasty but this garbage can thing just happened a couple days ago and that was it. HUGE red flag. No empathy and I'm out. No, I couldn't convince him of anything. He knows it all and yelled at me and scared me (I'm chicken about stuff like that) for saying that I thought it was animal cruelty to put his dog in a big garbage can for so long. I did say to keep the garbage out of reach and the dog won't get a payoff and won't develop that habit, that it's natural for a dog to look for food and she doesn't know that she's doing something wrong. And he yelled, that she did know, that she looked guilty. Duh...of course, when he comes in with whatever reaction he had, she can see he's pretty scary and she's probably going to get in trouble. So she looks worried. Ignorant people like that make me sick.

I didn't see him do anything to his dogs the whole time, but not pay that much attention to them and just order them with a very stern voice. Nothing really too awful. But he told me about the one time he hit his Lab. Ok...so lots of people hit their dog once in a while. I let it go because he never did it again, at least while I was around. I told him then, how disturbed I was about that and that the dog didn't know she wasn't suppose to leave his property. After all, the neighbors give her attention and that's nice for her, so she goes again. And that he didn't do anything to teach her to stay home. Hitting her hours later means nothing to the dog except he's not to be trusted.

So, boring as he was, he seemed pretty nice in a lot of other ways, but over all, not my cup of tea personality wise anyhow. But I thought I'd give it a chance and see if I might grow to like him better. LOL. Go figure.... So, I don't want to see him again....on purpose. I will out of necessity because this town is tiny and he's my neighbor. Ugggg. But his horrible yelling at me is verbal abuse and I'm not accustomed to being treated that way...never was by my parents or my ex. So hmph! LOL.

Thanks guys....just needed to rant and rave or lose my mind.
 
Y

yuckaduck

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#33
Doberluv said:
GSgurl, don't worry about it. I do that all the time. It's fun to see how conversations evolve. I just brought it back around because I'm still all tense and distraught over this little dog. I just can't seem to shake it easily. So, I'm bugging you guys, I know. I'm such a weah weah at times. I know I sound tough but I'm not really when it comes right down to it or something like this.

Yeah, it's not the rubbing the dog's nose in poop. That, he did when they were pups. That's mean and nasty but this garbage can thing just happened a couple days ago and that was it. HUGE red flag. No empathy and I'm out. No, I couldn't convince him of anything. He knows it all and yelled at me and scared me (I'm chicken about stuff like that) for saying that I thought it was animal cruelty to put his dog in a big garbage can for so long. I did say to keep the garbage out of reach and the dog won't get a payoff and won't develop that habit, that it's natural for a dog to look for food and she doesn't know that she's doing something wrong. And he yelled, that she did know, that she looked guilty. Duh...of course, when he comes in with whatever reaction he had, she can see he's pretty scary and she's probably going to get in trouble. So she looks worried. Ignorant people like that make me sick.

I didn't see him do anything to his dogs the whole time, but not pay that much attention to them and just order them with a very stern voice. Nothing really too awful. But he told me about the one time he hit his Lab. Ok...so lots of people hit their dog once in a while. I let it go because he never did it again, at least while I was around. I told him then, how disturbed I was about that and that the dog didn't know she wasn't suppose to leave his property. After all, the neighbors give her attention and that's nice for her, so she goes again. And that he didn't do anything to teach her to stay home. Hitting her hours later means nothing to the dog except he's not to be trusted.

So, boring as he was, he seemed pretty nice in a lot of other ways, but over all, not my cup of tea personality wise anyhow. But I thought I'd give it a chance and see if I might grow to like him better. LOL. Go figure.... So, I don't want to see him again....on purpose. I will out of necessity because this town is tiny and he's my neighbor. Ugggg. But his horrible yelling at me is verbal abuse and I'm not accustomed to being treated that way...never was by my parents or my ex. So hmph! LOL.

Thanks guys....just needed to rant and rave or lose my mind.


Any time, I wish there was more I could do to help! Sorry!
 

Doberluv

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#34
Oh Smkie, I missed your post there. That had to be horrible....all those puppies. Way too traumatic for a anyone.

Yes, I'm quite relieved to be rid of this. He almost reminds me of this other guy I dated who turned out to have NPD. You should read all about it. It's horrendous! This guy has some traits, but I'm not sure if he has NPD. It's not easy to recognize at first. It took me 6 months of constant reading and studying to understand this mental illness. That's how weird and freaky it is. But even if he's not, he's still a jerk. How could I have anything in common with someone who is so mean to animals? That was a red flag that I pushed aside. I have to learn to listen to myself the first time. You younger people need to listen to me too. LOL. Look at me as the older, woman who will look after you. Only do what I say, not what I do. LOL.
 
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Richie12345

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#35
Smkie- Thanks :D

Also, that's horrible that you had to see 25 puppies die

Doberluv- Sorry! But yeah, I would just be as mad as you in that situation. It sucks that there are people like that in the world...
 

Doberluv

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#36
Thanks Richie. You're right. I like men who are into animals. I thought he was cuz he has parakeets too. But he doesn't take the greatest care of them either. I bought them some toys and a cuddle bone and mineral block. He doesn't give them gravel for their gizzards...only seed and sometimes it looks like it's empty and the water is all gross. He's just a collector, they're some sort of possession to him... not an animal lover.
 
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#37
This guy sounds like a selfish, narcisstic, controlling BRAT!!!! Kudos for you for getting OUT! And even though I don't know his animals, I cringe at the thought of someone like that owning animals and not even knowing how to treat and train them. Hunter, too, gets into my trash. So now it's kept out in my garage away from his being tempted. Duh...
 

Angelique

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#38
Good for you in recognizing the warning signs, AND heeding them.

This guy was setting his dog up to be "vented" upon. I've run into people like this from time to time. One in particular did this very same little "tap-dance" over the daily garbage mess he came home to, due to his "bad" dogs.

Putting the garbage out of reach was too easy. I think he actually needed an excuse to come home and vent on someone after his "hard" day at work.

I can just hear him now, "Those @$%&?! dogs! Everyday I come home, and there's garbage all over the place! AND, you should see how "guilty" they look, the minute I come through the door!"

Not guilt, Einstein! They just know what's coming as soon as you get home...can you say "submissive body language?!"...great, big DUH!

Angelique

PS "Four legs good, two legs baaaad!"...you go girl! :)
 

Doberluv

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#39
You're good Eli. Some things are hard to train out of them unless you want to sit there and teach them to leave it and reward with something better than what's in the trash. You'd have to sit there for a long time and actively teach the dog. It's easier to just keep some things out of their reach and leave it at that. If they're not self rewarded, the behavior usually won't develop into much of a habit. Lyric use to jump up with his front paws and steal things off the counter when he was a very young pup. (he was already pretty tall in a short time) I learned to be careful and not leave ANYTHING for him there. He would jump up and find nothing good. I didn't tell him anything...let him jump and find out there was no payoff. Soon, he stopped jumping up there and now, even if I leave food there, he still doesn't jump up. Partly because he didn't get a chance to develop that jumping up into a habit and partly because he's just matured and has figured out by getting to know me that that just wouldn't do, that it's not meant for him. LOL.
 

Fran27

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#40
What kind of trash is it? Does it have a lid? There's always that baby proof stuff you can put on them so they can't open I think...

But yeah, I think you were totally right to break up with that guy...
 

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