because children are different...they are not dogs. right and wrong is learned, yes...but not by the parents alone. if you tell your child, "don't do that, it hurts other people and it's wrong" and the child does it again, and again you say no....how many times do you take the blame for your child not listening? a child can not be "trained" like a dog can. they can, and will, listen under the right influence(s) but they can also choose to disobey regardless of if the influence is good or bad. as the child gets older, he will disobey more and more. whether it's because his parents can't or won't "lay down the law" is beyond the point. either they are scared of the child because he's been violent from the begining or because they don't care about discipline and will let him do what he wants. in this case it is probably the latter of the two. but, for arguments sake let's say the boy has a mental problem...bipolar, manic depressive, etc. it is not the parents fault because the child is bad/violent/mean towards another living being...it is a "defect" that has nothing to do with how he is raised.
What's causing this rage in our children? The risk for violent outbursts in children is a combination of many factors. Here are some of the things that can contribute to violence:
* Having been a victim of physical or sexual abuse
* Having guns in the home
* Being exposed to violence in the home and neighborhood
* TV violence
* Using drugs or alcohol
* Brain damage or head injury.
Many times parents see aggressive behavior in young children and think they will grow out of it. "Violent behavior always should be taken seriously," said Beth Ann Brooks, M.D., chief of psychiatry at Children's Hospital of Michigan in Detroit. "Kids who have intense anger have frequent blow-ups. They are irritable, impulsive and easily frustrated. Early treatment by a mental health professional can help kids learn how to control their anger and accept responsibility for their actions," said Dr. Brooks
all i'm saying is, you can't blame the parents for everything that is, or can be, wrong with a child. most 4 yr olds know the concept of right vs wrong. they may still do wrong, but they knew it was wrong when they did it. at least the 4 yr olds i've met have known right from wrong (at least the basic concept of "hitting is wrong" or "sharing is right"). it seems that this boy either has a mental disorder that is being exacerbated by the parents lack of concern OR the parents have been abusing him and he's taking it out on others OR he is acting out for attention and knows what he's doing is wrong but doesn't care.