If I leave, I can't re-enter (not sure for how long). That's partially what's stopping me. Also, if I do go back, I have nowhere to live. :\ That's the other big obstacle. I'd have a place if I were going for just a week or two, but if I leave now, I'd have to be gone for months, and nobody can take me in that long as of right now, unfortunately.
I am going to sit down and have a talk with him tonight. If we can get SOME things squared away (the animal situation, both me having them, and the roommates taking care of theirs and not talking to me as if I am stupid when I try to help them when they have questions; the money saving/spending and buying of unnecessary things like wall art and vinyl collectible toys, as much as I know that, as an illustrator, he thinks he NEEDS these things, he doesn't; our future together and how long this roommate thing is really going to last) then, I think we'll be okay. But he has GOT to actually sit down and listen to me. His biggest issue, the one thing I hate, is that when we try to talk, he has a bad habit, purposely or not, of making it seem like he is the victim because I need to talk to him about something, whatever it be. I do not like walking away from a civil conversation feeling like I am the bad guy, when I'm the one with the crap on my shoulders to begin with. He has got to understand that we're in this together, that I left my entire family to be with HIM, not his friends.
I will admit, after a huge talk with everyone a few weeks ago, things HAVE been better overall. These are, down to it, nice people. The girl, I've become close with. Close enough that she comes to me to talk about her problems, for advice, and I appreciate that she is comfortable enough with me to confide in me for things. As lovely as that is, as much as things have gotten generally better with the cleaning and the complaining about trivial things, it still isn't enough. I don't think I'm being picky. Things like 6AM bird screaming (YES, we CAN hear them in our bedroom, so PLEASE be respectful and keep them covered until Ryan has to get up for work at least!!!), telling me what I am not allowed to own when I take care of your animals all day to begin with, making decisions without me and telling me to risk myself here by getting a job under the table just so they can respect me more, talking to me like I don't know what I'm talking about despite the fact that I can prove to you that I do....these things haven't changed, they need to stop.
A vacation sounds lovely. I intend to take one as soon as I possibly can.
(HUGS) and thanks so much for listening to my venting. Sometimes, I feel like I really have no one else to talk to. My friendbase here is limited to Rockefeller, my boyfriend (he doesn't want to hear it most of the time) and a few people that I rarely ever see because they are so busy. And, I hate feeling like a burden to people so I usually keep it bottled up. I know that's horrible for me but, meh, I am only just learning that it is okay to speak my mind, but I'm not that good at it yet, heh.