So much for just a few more months...

Discussion in 'The Fire Hydrant' started by ravennr, Mar 6, 2012.

  1. Dekka

    Dekka Just try me..

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    Can you move out and live with different roomates? I know lots of people living in TO who have room mates they weren't friends with first. My brother has done that. Its more 'proffessional' you don't need anyone else's permission or planning.

    It just sounds rude!
     
  2. ravennr

    ravennr ಥ⌣ಥ

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    If I could get over my anxiety about leaving alone, I could probably do a day trip into the city. But just thinking about that sends me fluttering :\ I have some issues, ugh.


    He did feel bad, or seemed to, that I wasn't included in it.

    We've thought about moving into the city, but he hasn't been able to find a job there. He works currently at the college here. He's been unable to find any transfers though. I know he ultimately wants to move to Ottawa down the line, which I THOUGHT was the plan after all this was over, but plans change I suppose.

    I just sent him a message explaining some things, asking him to try to see it from my viewpoint, and to please please not get upset at me for being upset. We're both stressed but we need to be able to talk! We've just never had to before, not like this.


    I used to think living where I was in Virginia was expensive, but whoa at the prices in Oakville, and Toronto.

    I can't wait to have health care so I can see someone about this anxiety. The city gives me the panic attacks, the sickness in my stomach, all of that. It's a lot for me, considering the most city I'm used to is a bunch of buildings by the oceanfront. Toronto might as well be NYC to me, haha.


    I hope he answers my message soon. I know he's at work, but he gets a lot of down time and his break is soon. I hate waiting for replies, always makes me so anxious. I need a good smack in the face maybe, lol.

    I'm about to call my parents and let them know what's going on. I know they won't be happy about it, it's not what they thought I was coming here for either, but maybe talking to them will help ease my mind some more. You guys have helped a lot. Didn't even need to take a valium today, which given the anxiety I've been feeling, that's a big step for me.
    I sound like I should be in a padded room or something, sheesh.
     
  3. JessLough

    JessLough Love My Mutt

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    Ottawa's awesome. You should totally move here. Further from Toronto :p. plus, I'm here LOL
     
  4. ravennr

    ravennr ಥ⌣ಥ

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    It'd be nice to have a friend!! Also...ferrets ^_^

    Ryan's art business does really well up there. They seem to buy him like crazy. I've never been yet, but I've google street viewed it. :cool:
    Even if it were just the outskirts, I wouldn't mind. It's a bit farther from home, but this is my country now so I gotta get used to that!


    If I had the money, and had it my way, I'd move to the Rideau Lakes area where his dad lives. That's just like where I grew up. I love it there.
     
  5. Dizzy

    Dizzy Sit! Good dog.

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    Tough one isn't it.

    My view is that things have got a bit better (you said), things are improving (slowly). Maybe you're just feeling hemmed in because you CAN'T leave, rather than actually wanting to leave. Like claustrophobic.

    They haven't signed anything, so the decision actually won't be made for another 3 months (june yes?). That is PLENTY of time to talk things through and assess how the land lies.

    I think you described someone you actually love a lot (failings and all ;) ) and that you're in panic mode about the future.... sometimes you have to focus on WHY you're doing it, suck it up and get on with it.

    I am sure it'll be worth it. And if it all goes tits up, you will find a plan B. I am sure.
     
  6. ravennr

    ravennr ಥ⌣ಥ

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    We sat down and talked about it tonight. I feel a lot better. We still need to talk to them together, but he understands where I'm coming from, and that this next year is fine as long as some of these things change.

    I think claustrophobic is a good word for how I'm feeling.

    On another note, I went out by myself tonight and walked around. I was anxious the whole time, but I DID IT. Then came straight back home, ahaha. It's a step, albeit a small one.

    We'll see how things go. We agreed, if we want a dog, or another animal, we aren't going to stand around and be told no, and we're not going to tolerate the bossing me around stuff and expecting me to care for their animals 24/7. Either way, I feel a lot better.


    Now I'm just eating massive amounts of chocolate to recover from the day's anxiety/stress.
     

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