I don't think you're being sarcastic or rude at all..
I teach an Emergency Recall in every class and every private session. When puppies graduate from my 6 week session, they all perform an emergency recall with staged competing motivators. The only puppies who fail this recall are the one's who's owners didn't have the time to practice.
I still practice an emergency recall with each of my dogs at least once per week. No matter what the distraction, they spin on a dime and are to my front without pause and without ever using any form of punishment.
It's taught using an emergency recall ER (a word or series of words) to call the dog (when he/she's already coming to you) and then reinforced with a full 30 second feed (tiny treats delivered slowly and in very small pieces) while repeating the ER and praising profusely. My ER for Sophie is Duck-Duck-Goose. Its practiced 3 times a day for the first week, 1 time/day for the next week, and so on until you use it at least once/week to keep it proofed and working. It does work. I'll try to remember to post the "how to" handout that I've made for my clients to better show you how it works.
I get at least 1 call/week from clients with stories of how their ER saved their dog from certain demise...:yikes: