My heart hurts. Physically.
I just got back from seeing Shiva. She is still the ginormous puppy she has always been, not fazed in the least by anything. She wasn't using her front leg and her paw is dangling, but Charley says she has been using it some and putting weight on it sometimes. There's no swelling in her leg anymore, but there is a hard mass right on her shoulder. That's what's interfering with her use of her leg.
She wriggled from one of us to the other, found all the spots in the grass at the store where Kharma's peed and marked over them, was thrilled at the attention. She snuggled up with her head in my neck and listened intently while I whispered to her. I had a nose to snout and told her to drink her tea, as much as she can, that it's good for her. I told her to never give up because I would never give up for her, and that I love her and she will always be my puppy, no matter what.
I don't know. I can only hope because I don't think I could stand giving up. This is a really nasty, evil, fast moving cancer. On the plus side, she doesn't seem to need pain meds during the day, just at night.