really upset

[joce]

I guess me and chaz are over. We have been together seven years.

this is a horrible rant and I know I sound whiny but I really need to talk to some people or I'm gonna lose it. I jsut feel so alone.

He's been acting funny lately and not coming home at the right times or jsut being odd and I try to ignore it becuse I don't want anything to be wrong. I tried telling him it was making me really upset and I was scared and he said I was exagerating and he loved me.

We spent last night at his place jsut watching tv and cuddling

I started a new class today and saw him on my way to it. Big stupid me was so happy to see him and his stupid car I pratically hung out the window waving and there is some girl in his car.

I can barely breathe now. I love this guy so much,I cna't even begin to explain it. I keep thinking of the scars on hi hands and I love to run my fingers across them I love him so much.

I called when I got to school,I couldn't even sign my name on the attendence sheet and everyone looked at me like I was jsut going to drop adn I am really shocked I didn't. He didn't answer. I left a mesasage asking why he would ignore my call if it was somethig innocent and I told him if it wasn't he needed to get his stuff out. I called two mroe times and he didn't answer. I stopped by his place again and almost collected up my stuff but then I jsut started praying it was his siter or roomates girlfriend and I tried to calm down. I called when I got to my place and he turned off his phone.

I don't know how to get through this. I literally hoped a truck would veer off and hit me on the way home. I have never felt pain like this.

I can't even sleep without him. I jsut don't knwo what I am going to do. I have all my hopes and dreams built around us. It jsut feels like everything is over right now.

I know I'll get through it but its jsut so hard. I don't knwo what I am going to do. He was my best friend. I have always felt the best when I am with him. He's been my life for so long I don't even know what to do anymore. I feel so completely and utterly lost.

 

[bubbatd]

Grammy is totally confused !!! You are in Ohio ...he in Florida !! Please explain !!!

 

[joce]

No he's here. Apparently out with some girl

He's in my sigs everywere too,I jsut want him to come home and make it better but he cna't

 

[Fran27]

Oh gosh I'm so sorry Hopefully you can have a serious discussion with him soon and find out the truth... I totally sympathize, I don't even want to imagine how it would feel like... Keep us posted.

 

[iluvdogs]

I'm going threw that right now. Its hard. I didn't see him with another girl, he just told me that he wants to see other girls, and have one night stands and stuff.

Its hard. I still love him and I always hope hes just going to come back and knock on my door, but I know that wont happen.

It will get better, everyone here helped me out ~thanks guys~

All I can say is stay strong ~hug~

 

[Brattina88]

I'm sorry to hear that Joce. I know its hard, but just remember we're all here for you. Keep us posted, and take a break and walk a dog or two to get away and clear your head. Things always get rough before they get better

 

[joce]

I'm going to go over and pack up my stuff. I'm guessing he won't show up there anyway and he'll jsut go to a frineds.

I jsut need to do something I guess

He's put me through a lot before and I've always forgiven but I cna't do it anymore. I am literally at the point were I hate myself for letting him put me through this. I love him more than I've ever loved anyhting befoe but he knew that and he has repeatedly not cared.

 

[Fran27]

It's probably a good idea... I'm sure you will find someone better who at least respects you.

 

[LabBreeder]

i know this will truly sound stupid to you right now...but i swear there is truth in it. i've been where you are and i know what you're feeling.

have you ever heard the phrase, "if you love someone you've gotta let them go, if they come back they are yours forever" (or similar)

i had the same prob with Tony. we met in october '03 and he was going through a divorce. he decided he wanted to try and make things work one last time and i told him go ahead...i know a marriage is important and you SHOULD try...he did and it didn't work so i got him back (that's the FIRST time)
his "friend" david told him, while we were having an argument, that he could "have one of his online women". tony talked to one, then went to her house 4 hours away and was gonna stay for a couple days to "think about things". he called the next morning, said he realized he'd been a hard headed ass and that i was a great woman and he was coming home and we'd talk. i grilled him about what went on (he's a terrible liar, btw) and came to the conclussion that nothing more had happened than what he'd said. (this made the SECOND time) david is no longer a friend, btw.
the last time was another couple getting in our business and they had no right to. i had to move out and he was welcome to stay with them. we talked every day and saw each other each weekend for 2 weeks until the other couple realized what they did was wrong because we did love each other (regardless of stupid arguments). THIRD time not as bad, huh?

the same couple tried to get Tony to cheat on me 2 weeks ago. called him, had him talk to her, said they'd come get him and lie to me about why. he TOLD me about it...didn't call them back...and obviously didn't go either. i got my revenge online and they haven't called since.

MY POINT IS THIS - if i hadn't let him try with the divorce he'd have held it against me forever and blamed me for the "what if" questions.
if i hadn't packed his bags for him and told him to go see that woman 4 hrs away, he'd have blamed me for the "what if" questions again.
if i hadn't been forced to move out, we'd still be with that couple arguing almost 24/7 and having a bad relationship.

because of all of these times i had to LET HIM GO and TRUST things would work out because WE LOVED EACH OTHER we are closer than ever, have our own place, our own vehicle, he's got a good job, we have 2 dogs and are getting married.

if you really love this guy...and he loves you...let him come back in his own time. keep trying to call him but be supportive and understanding. tell him you understand that he wants to make sure you're "the one" and that he's not making a mistake. when he realizes that you love him enough to let him figure it out on his own, he'll come back (as long as he loves you like he says he does). he'll realize he was stupid, broke your trust and that he wants to only be with you and will you please forgive him? as long as it doesn't become a "habit" for him you'll be o.k. in the end.
my guy did it once on his own with my permission....once due to friends influence and with my permission (he was also still worried about making a mistake with another woman so soon again)...the last one didn't happen, but could have.
each time he grew stronger and learned that i am always there for him and will let him make his own decisions. he also knew that if he EVER cheated on me while "thinking" about things i would leave him at the drop of a hat and never look back.

 

[LabBreeder]

however, if your guy has made a habit of doing this to you... "letting him go" is the best option for you. maybe he'll come back and be different, maybe not...every man acts a different way in different situations and has a different attitude. he just may not be the one. on the other hand, he may see the error of his ways and come back to you for good and never treat you like this again.

 

[JennSLK]

I hope everything works out. If you need to talk PM me. John and I are having our problems too. Im here if you need to talk.

 

[Wigglebutts]

You know what? You deserve better, a leopard never changes his spots. You want to know how it would be to be married to him? You now know. Tis hard you will survive and all for the best.

 

[Julie]

I know it is very hard to let go.........but....... a cheating man will most likely always be just that. I would never stoop to the level of accepting a man back into my life after he cheated on me. I am better than that. And so are you. I hope that you find the strength to do what is right for yourself. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Lol.

My cousin just took back her husband that left her.......living with another woman for several months. Divorce procedings started and almost complete. She just couldn't bear to live "alone". I told her exactly what I thought, "You take him back, your family will eventually suffer again." Only this time you might be 47 instead of 37.

Maybe it's just me, but I can deal with ALOT of things.........but I will not tolerate cheating from my husband/longtime boyfriend for any "reason" they will be left in a cloud of dust!!!!!! I am better than that.

 

[LabBreeder]

i agree 100%

if your b/f, man or whatever you're calling him HAS cheated on you...and has been doing it for awhile...you really do need to leave him. Cheaters never change...ever!!! if he's done it once, he'll do it again.



*i know i've never been cheated on by Tony. let's just say i had my ways of keeping tabs even when he was gone. *

 

[GlassOnion]

have you ever heard the phrase, "if you love someone you've gotta let them go, if they come back they are yours forever" (or similar)

i had the same prob with Tony. we met in october '03 and he was going through a divorce. he decided he wanted to try and make things work one last time and i told him go ahead...i know a marriage is important and you SHOULD try...he did and it didn't work so i got him back (that's the FIRST time)

Isn't that kind of contradictive? I mean the woman let him go, he came back to her, yet he still left her again and is with you?

 

[MomOf7]

Breath!!
Deep breaths slowly in and slowly out through your nose. I could not imagine what I would do if that happend to my with Jim.
I do know that whatever happens all will work itself out. It always has and always will. Time will help the pain.
Remember that if you ever have another in your life I want you to remember this one thing.....
That other person is not the same guy you were with. Never will be so let go of the past and have hope for the future.

If it turns out to be some mis understanding..which is what I am hoping for...what a big releif that will be!

 

[SummerRiot]

Hey Joce,

I can understand how you feel - but definately not fully.
I have had a "cheater" in the past and it does hurt very much, especially when they lie straight to your face.

Maybe he is just with a friend? Did you notice anything "sexual" about what they were doing?? Perhaps he is just helping one of his friends?

I can't believe that some girls will be with a guy when they STILL have a gf regardless. Some girls just dont have any self respect I guess.

IF he is cheating on you, do not give him a second chance and dont look back.
I know it will be extremely hard and you feel horrible about this situation, but each time you look back - you lose a step ahead of you.

We are all here for you!! Not to mention your pups!! They will definately be needing you as well!

 

[Jules]

Before you go and pick up your stuff- have you talked to him at all?
I mean...I totally understand you, but maybe it IS harmless and he's freaked out about how much you trust or not trust him.
I would definitely talk to him first...I mean, he has to come home at some point. If he is cheating on you- scrrrrew him! It's tough...but we're here for you!

((((hugs))))

 

[LabBreeder]

Isn't that kind of contradictive? I mean the woman let him go, he came back to her, yet he still left her again and is with you?

and he didn't leave her...she left him

what? either you're confused or you're trying to confuse me. his ex let him go, he went back to her, he left her and is with me...if that's what you mean.


otherwise, it goes...he was with me, tried to get back with his ex (cause they were seperated/going through divorce), left her, back with me, had argument and friend introduced him to another, he went to see her, came back to me...that's it. the only one that was actually me letting him go was the second due to argument and friends intervention.

 

[Zoom]

(((HUGS))) Joce!!

I would give it a day, tops, to see what happens. If there isn't a DARN GOOD reason behind his actions, and that has to be a reason you believe with every ounce of your being, then I'm very sorry to say that you are going to have to move on.