I've found that the best way of teaching a dog, especially a stubborn one, is to commit before ever starting the session to taking the time, no matter how long it takes.
I waited bella out over an hour making her come in through the door. she was shivering, and pawing, and looking SOOOOOO sad, and barking, and making these almost howling sounds... and I waited... and waited... and waited... and waited... but I was there with the treats and lovins the moment she came through
I waited almost half an hour to get her to go out the first time (the non "success" time). she'd push right. I'd block. She'd push left. I'd block. She'd sit. I'd lift her hind quarters back to standing. She finally went out and came right back in. Lovins and treats and freedom.
And while bella is not stubborn, per se, she's SMART. So I have to teach her that when she does what daddy wants daddy does what she wants. She's learning how we can deal. She gives, I give.
I realized with buddy a long time ago that dominance is not a parasitic relationship. Buddy doesn't (and shouldn't) serve hand and foot. Buddy gives because he knows that whenever possible I'll give back. and he knows that when I don't give it's just got to be that way (for whatever reason daddy sees.)
I probably had it lucky, getting buddy and then banzai first. Buddy is wicked smart and dominant. So we had to learn to deal with that. Banzai is forever patient and stubborn. So we had to learn to deal with that.
Of course for those very reasons I treat the dogs a bit differently. I'm harder on buddy than banzai, because buddy (if given too much room) will take over. And I'm softer on banzai because banzai just doesn't push the boundaries like buddy does, so I don't have occasion to push back as often.
I expect bella will be more sophisticated in the give-and-take than buddy, and more insidious with the patience. But we've had good practice.
Oh. And when the time comes... daddy "barks" with the best of them. (not literally, but I can be very forceful -- and loud -- when I need to be)
When Bella was reacting poorly to her vaccinations. I "barked" at banzai and he ran upstairs and jumped into moms arms. I simply needed some non interference while bella was dealing with a really bad diarrhea night. And I got it.
Afterwards banzai came down, and we made up (puppy kisses, and pets, and snuffles). He hasn't once acted fearful because of the incident because of my normal behavior. This wasn't normal, something was different, and banzai just submitted that dad had to do what he had to do, and that it wasn't personal.
I like to think that I have a strong hand, backed by a soft heart. And I think thats why almost every dog I've ever met has responded well to me.
Wow... I just got WAAAAY off topic