One night stands.

[Pam111]

I see nothing wrong with it as long as you are mature about it and understand what you're getting into and are careful.

But like Fran said, part of that is knowing people will talk because not everyone will agree, so you need to keep it quiet or have a thick skin. If you can't stand the talk, maybe you aren't ready for it

 

[MPP]

If she hadn't told everyone and his pet donkey, nobody would be saying anything! I don't say "lie," because that leads to many times more trouble. But for heaven's sake, go look up "private" and "personal" in the dictionary.

I don't like the idea of a one-night-stand. I think it tarnishes your soul. That said, it's YOUR soul, so tarnish away if that's what you want. Spanish proverb: Take what you want, says God. Take it and pay for it.

 

[-bogart-]

If she hadn't told everyone and his pet donkey, nobody would be saying anything! I don't say "lie," because that leads to many times more trouble. But for heaven's sake, go look up "private" and "personal" in the dictionary.

I don't like the idea of a one-night-stand. I think it tarnishes your soul. That said, it's YOUR soul, so tarnish away if that's what you want. Spanish proverb: Take what you want, says God. Take it and pay for it.

i agree.

and i say i have done it and regreated it , but to each there own.

 

[mrose_s]

You don't always have to be running your mouth off, I live in a small town and I work at the local pub, not a single local or staff member can look sideways at another person without gossip spreading like wildfire. We often joke that less people would hear about things if you stood on the bar and yelled it.

 

[Samantha's pet]

I will be thrilled if my daughter waits until she is in college to have sex! I guess what I am saying is 18 is not too young IMO. Especially these days, it seems like no one makes it out of high school a virgin. I didnt, nor did anyone I know. Of course, the later the better when it comes to my kid but I plan on talking a lot about sex w/ her when she can understand. I will be happy if she can be open and honest w/ me, waits until she is in college, and it responsible about it.

One night stands at 18 do bother me a little. I have never had a one night stand. My husband is the only person I have ever slept with outside of a committed relationship (it was the first date) but, as you can see that did not end up being a ONS. I really hope my kid saves it for committed relationships only but she is in charge of her body and her sexual decisions, I can only give advice, not pass judgement.

 

[milos_mommy]

Without reading the whole thread:

It's not something I would personally ever do. I don't really think it's a good idea in most situations, because I think it's something the average 18 year old girl would regret. I'm sure for some people it's perfectly okay but I think most girls who have one night stands do it because they are insecure and want to think guys like them, even if it's just sexually, or they think the guy is going to fall for them and want to be with them, or a million other wrong reasons.

And I think whichever girls are doing it FOR the right reasons (they don't take sex very seriously and only want some physical gratification or a rush from doing it) have to be very, very careful that they aren't hurting anyone else. Like, for example, the guy. Or any of the other girls he might be doing this with.

But in general, if someone has a one night stand, I don't think they're a slut or a bad person or it's anybody else's business whatsoever.

 

[4dogs3cats]

Whats everyones logic on why 18 is too young but 21 isn't? Age is just a number, and if you're mature enough, I don't see a problem.

 

[xpaeanx]

Whats everyones logic on why 18 is too young but 21 isn't? Age is just a number, and if you're mature enough, I don't see a problem.

you're right, age is just a number... but no one has time to look at every individual on the face of the earth to decide who is mature enough and who isn't, so we generalize.

However, when you're young, 3 years is a LOT! When I was 18, I was very mature for my age... when I was 21 I was very mature for my age and even then I thought back to things I did when I was 18 and thought of how I was too young to do them and that some of my actions were very childish. Now, I think about when I was 21 and have the same thoughts. Even a year can be a world of difference when growing up.

 

[MandyPug]

Whats everyones logic on why 18 is too young but 21 isn't? Age is just a number, and if you're mature enough, I don't see a problem.

This^^

I've noticed that the people saying 21 are in the states. Is it because that's the drinking/gambling/smoking age?

Baby and I are in Canada, where the drinking/gambling/smoking age is 18 or 19 depending on what province you're in. Perhaps it's a cultural difference since Canada seems to be more laid back in general, probably stemming from being far less conservative and religious. Despite 21 only being 2-3 years older than the drinking ages here, it somehow makes a difference...

Also the running her mouth thing i doubt. If i do recall, baby lives in a very small town... The kind where everyone knows everyone and everything they do (which again if i do recall is how many of the maritime towns tend to be, it's fun until the gossip is about you).

Anyways to me, it's a personal choice. If they don't have it in them to get emotionally attached to everyone they sleep with all the power to them to have one night stands, what they do with their genitals is their choice as long as it's legal (and preferably safe, ALWAYS GET TESTED REGULARLY IF YOU SLEEP AROUND).

 

[Laurelin]

I would never have a one night stand, I'm just not that kind of girl. Hopeless romantic maybe? lol I think sex is something special, something between me and a person I love. I wouldn't be able to do it any other way..

Oh and I agree, if shes telling people about it. she should expect to hear everyone elses opinion...
you air your dirty laundry out in public, and somebody is gonna come around and wanna wash it lol

I agree 100%

 

[xpaeanx]

I think 21 is a general age of "adult" because you generally move out of your parents house at around 18. So at 18, you don't have that much "real world" expierence, yet at 21 you have(presumably) been running your own life for a few years and are a little more level headed and a less emotionally driven.

 

[milos_mommy]

I know people who've moved out of their parents house at 16 and people who are 25 and still living with their parents and have never lived on their own.


I also know 18 year olds that are married. Should they not be having sex? And I know plenty of 26 year olds who have sex incredibly irresponsibly.

It's like the drinking age...you can get married at 18 but can't drink champagne at your wedding. you can go to war but can't come home and have a beer. but if you're 21, living at home, and have never had any responsibility in your life, well, you're an adult, so it's okay to get drunk and have sex all over the place.

 

[xpaeanx]

I know people who've moved out of their parents house at 16 and people who are 25 and still living with their parents and have never lived on their own.


I also know 18 year olds that are married. Should they not be having sex? And I know plenty of 26 year olds who have sex incredibly irresponsibly.

It's like the drinking age...you can get married at 18 but can't drink champagne at your wedding. you can go to war but can't come home and have a beer. but if you're 21, living at home, and have never had any responsibility in your life, well, you're an adult, so it's okay to get drunk and have sex all over the place.

So I guess the whole, individuals are obviously different, but no one has time to go through every single one so we create generalizations... just what? flew out the window?

 

[Fran101]

Im 18. I had sex with my boyfriend of 3 years on prom night
*gasp* lol im such a cliche.. cheerleader prom queen and football player on prom night

anyway, I was safe and well prepared. I don't regret it at all and think I was mature enough to make the decision

BUT I certainly don't think all 18 year olds are lol but its up to that 18 year old to think about it and decide, not up to some adult to preach "Your not mature enough! your 18"
maybe you weren't at 18. but I was.

Im not sure what "real world experience" has to do with it.. I don't need to be out of my parents house or whatever to know the potential consequences and reality of what sex is nor did I need it make a mature decision on wether or not it was right for me and him to do it.

to say "18 is too young for sex!" IMO is a bit ridiculous..
then again, im not a fan of blanket generalizations.

hate to break it to ya'll.. but id feel safe saying atleast 83.5% of 18 year olds these days are having sex lol
and the more adults push the "your not old/mature enough to do it!" onto teenagers, the more they are gonna wanna do it lol

 

[Paige]

My opinion on sex has totally changed since getting pregnant. I met my baby's dad in a drunken blackout and slept with him without even knowing his name. We ended up staying together for over a year but regardless I got pregnant and he's out of the picture. Before I didn't think sex was a big deal at all. I was safe about it but now am rethinking how I could have sex with someone so easily. Eighteen does seem young to me (I am 18) now that I am facing one of the very real possibilities of sex.

No I wouldn't judge her. I probably wouldn't think twice but for myself I know that I won't be doing that ever again.

 

[Laurelin]

Wow Paige, for some reason I always thought you were a bit older. (Like around my age)

You guys make me feel old.

 

[noludoru]

I don't really think it's a good idea in most situations, because I think it's something the average 18 year old would regret. I'm sure for some people it's perfectly okay but I think most girls who have one night stands do it for [snip] a million other wrong reasons.

And I think whichever girls are doing it FOR the right reasons (they don't take sex very seriously and only want some physical gratification or a rush from doing it) have to be very, very careful that they aren't hurting anyone else.

Good posting, MM, and in all seriousness, I agree. Yes, I'm generalizing about the age thing, but I really don't think most 18 or 19 year olds can handle ONS maturely.

 

[xpaeanx]

Fran, real world expierence is what happens when your parents aren't there to bail you out from every mistake you've made. It has nothing to do with the sex itself. In fact, no where in any of my posts did I ever actually say anything about sex, or 18 year olds or 21 year olds having sex. I was talking about the whole maturity thing.

I hate to point to people(but since she pointed herself out), look at paige. 18 with a baby. Guess what, condoms and birthcontrol are NOT foolproof. Accidents happen. Are you prepared to deal with them?

Also, you may *think* you know something will not affect you, only to find out too late that it actually does.

Guess what, when I turned 16 I moved to Germany(by myself), I have more or less been on my own since then. Even before that, I was doing pretty much everything for myself. Most people thought I was 25 at 18 because of the way I handled myself.

Can I tell you something? I'm a lot less comfortable wih the thought of having sex, then I was when I was 18. I look back at the people I have had sex with(and all of it was during actual relationships, not one night stands) and I wish I had been more selective about who I shared my body with. What happened in between now and then? Life happened.

And it wasnt' even the whole, taking care of yourself, day to day type stuff. It was just a general overall mental maturity. I bet in another 5 years, I will look back at myself now and pick out things I'm doing now that I consider childish.

I've seen lives get ruined by sex. yes, simple "safe" sex. It has very real concequences, and they can be very scary. now imagine trying to deal with these with someone you barely know? Its hard on anyone... but I think it's really hard when you're so young.

 

[Fran101]

Good posting, MM, and in all seriousness, I agree. Yes, I'm generalizing about the age thing, but I really don't think most 18 or 19 year olds can handle ONS maturely.

Oh I thought we were talking about sex in general..

in the case of one night stands, yes, I agree.. 18 might be a bit young for most to handle a one night stand maturely. To be able to do something so..intimate without feeling attached or perhaps doing it for the wrong reasons (like for attention, or just to feel loved for a lil while) or to deal with the consequences.

I had sex at 18 with my boyfriend.. we'd been together for 3 years, there was love and trust there. We were very safe but when we discussed it we knew that whatever happened, we knew how we would handle it and we would support each other. he wasn't just..some dude. that would've stressed me out into a coma lol

 

[jammer]

Personally, I find that those who have sex out of wedlock to be horrible hellbent sinners who deserve every STD that they will inevitably get by having unprotected devil sex. They should be shunned and called every name the Good Book allows.

Nothing good can come of it. Premarital sex is one thing, and a one night stand is the epitome of this type of sin. Those who partake in it need to have Satan beaten out of them, and need the guidance of a good pastor to get them back on the path to holiness.

Are you being serious?