I've been following the forum. Mark has lots of friends. No Minion friends, though.
Mark wanted me to tell you...
Your dog crawls and slinks to you... but you think he just wants a belly rub.
Your dog isn't showing you that he loves you, he is TERRIFIED of you.
You can't even read your own dog's body language, that's how airheaded you are.
I am sure "Airhead" is a permissible term.