My parents are getting divorced

Discussion in 'The Fire Hydrant' started by skittledoo, Oct 16, 2012.

  1. skittledoo

    skittledoo Crazy naked dog lady

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    I'm just... I don't... I don't know what to say or how to feel about it.

    My mom and step dad have been married over 20 years. My step dad and I are close.

    My mom just called me today to tell me they are getting divorced. I guess I should have seen the clues. My mom recently bought a convertible, has been tanning a lot and is obsessing over losing weight even though she is already skinny. My step dad is military and only home every other weekend now and my mom's job has her traveling a lot so they don't see each other much anymore.

    Still, maybe I'm just in shock, but I feel so upset over the whole situation and I feel like I'm about to lose my step dad.
     
  2. Fran27

    Fran27 New Member

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    I'm sorry :( You don't have to lose your stepdad though... send him emails, whatever it takes to keep contact.
     
  3. Taqroy

    Taqroy Active Member

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    (((((((somanyhugs))))))) I'm sorry Skittle. Will it upset your mom if you stay in contact with your step-dad?
     
  4. release the hounds

    release the hounds Active Member

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    I know it's a shock, but you do not have to lose your step dad. you're both adults and can continue any relationship you'd like from here on forward. Things will be different, but it doesnt' have to end.
     
  5. ACooper

    ACooper Moderator

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    (((((((((((HUGS))))))))))) I'm sorry sweetie, but you know these things happen and you should want them to be happy if they can be.

    Honestly, I wouldn't take my mom's feelings into account in that situation. If she wanted me to handle the divorce as an adult, I'd expect HER to handle an ongoing relationship with my step dad as an adult *shrugs*
     
  6. yoko

    yoko New Member

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    This. This isn't a small child the mom has to actively stay in touch with him so her daughter can still visit or talk to him. I don't see a problem with her staying in contact. And it sounds like he's been there almost her whole life.
     
  7. Taqroy

    Taqroy Active Member

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    I completely agree - it's just that when my grandpa got re-married (a couple YEARS after my grandma died) my mom and aunt acted like immature teenagers over it. People do weird things sometimes. And while I'm comfortable telling my mom she's acting like a brat...a lot of people aren't. And no matter how old you are, parental disapproval generally still carries some weight. :p
     
  8. skittledoo

    skittledoo Crazy naked dog lady

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    My mom said she doesn't care if I talk to him. Who knows. That may change, but no matter what she thinks I will always talk to him as long as he wants me to remain in his life. Thing is he has been my father figure growing up and I want to still consider him my dad.

    I know things happen for a reason and they probably will be better off in the end, but it doesn't change the fact that it feels so weird right now.
     
  9. JacksonsMom

    JacksonsMom Active Member

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    I'm sorry ((hugs)) Divorce is so hard, no matter how old you are. My mom was shocked when her parents got divorced, she was in her early 30's, and they had been married for over 30+ years. It changes the whole dynamic of everything in a family (at least in our case). When they divorced, it seemed like the whole rest of the family was different... suddenly their house wasn't the place we went anymore for holidays, and get togethers, etc. It's an odd thing.

    But my parents divorced when I was 10 and it was just as hard. It's a sucky thing all around, but generally works out for the best in the end. I'm sorry you have to go through it!
     
  10. -bogart-

    -bogart- Member of WHODAT Nation.

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    Amber , he IS your dad. Nothing will change that! Just keep on how you are contacting him and stay in touch . It will be awkard as you let it . so dont let it.

    HUGS and just remember THERE problems are THERES and to leave you out of it.

    HUGS
     
  11. NicoleLJ

    NicoleLJ PSD Partner

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    First (((HUGS))). THis type of thing is never easy. But keep in mind he is your DAD. I just found my first step dad. And he has welcomed me back into his family after no contact for 26yrs like no time has passed at all. Paper does not change feelings. (((HUGS)))
     
  12. ACooper

    ACooper Moderator

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    True enough, I often forget that, LOL I have ALWAYS felt comfortable telling my mom exactly how I feel about things.......whether she liked it or not, I knew she'd love me afterward so I always just blurt it out and move on.

    I never understood people who couldn't, but now that I have inlaws, I at least know what holding your tongue with family feels like, LOL Still can't imagine ever biting my tongue towards my sisters or mother like I do with my MIL or SIL, LOL
     
  13. SarahHound

    SarahHound New Member

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    I'm sorry :( what a horrible thing to go through. *hugs*

    You won't lose him, just make sure you stay in touch.
     
  14. SarahHound

    SarahHound New Member

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    I'm sorry :( what a horrible thing to go through. *hugs*

    You won't lose him, just make sure you stay in touch.
     
  15. Barbara!

    Barbara! New Member

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    Sorry. ):
     
  16. LindaJD

    LindaJD New Member

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    I'm sorry, I guess it still hurts at any age.
     
  17. Baxter'smybaby

    Baxter'smybaby swimming upstream

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    I imagine your step dad would want to continue to be in your life too--sorry, you are going through this. Life always throws things at us--we never know why or what the outcome will be--you will figure this out.
     
  18. Sweet72947

    Sweet72947 Squishy face

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  19. Snark

    Snark Mutts to you

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    Sorry you were hit with this... He's still your dad, though, regardless of whether he's married to your mom or not. It's how you feel about him and he feels about you that counts.

    I hope your mom and step dad will stay civil with each other, but if they don't, do your best to stay out of the middle of it.
     
  20. StephyMei1112

    StephyMei1112 Blackout

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    Aww I'm so sorry - You really won't lose him. Regardless of his relationship with your mom he still is whom he is to you - that won't change. *hugs galore*
     

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