Marriage that important?

[SisMorphine]

For everyone on here who has shown a distaste for marriage or no excitement for marriage, were your role models happily married growing up?

Though I am not super crazy "I NEED TO MARRY NOW" kind of lady, I look forward to a wedding. Marriage is on my list of things to do within the next 20 years. But if you look at my role models, you would understand why. My parents have been absurdly happily married for almost 29 years. My mother comes from a family of 9, 7 of them being married, and all of the married ones are happily married, no divorces. This is the way that I grew up, marriage is the ultimate commitment for a couple who loves each other.

Oh yeah, and I can't WAIT for the party

 

[ToscasMom]

I'm not a fan of marriage myself. Been there. Done that. I prefer being single. It's not that I have anything against marriage. I don't. It's just not where I want to be. So I can't add much to this discussion. But I will say that it wasn't my primary thought when I was young either.

 

[PWCorgi]

I was more interested in playing ball and working on school, my family thought the same thing...I must've been gay

Exactly, between keeping my grades up, sports, dogs, work I have enough on my plate. Even if I wanted a boyfriend I wouldn't have time, but of course that's just a cover-up

For everyone on here who has shown a distaste for marriage or no excitement for marriage, were your role models happily married growing up?

My role models growing up were my grandfather and my dad.
My grandparents got married right out of high-school and are still married.
My parents divorced when I was in 1st grade but my mom and dad always had a really good relationship after they seperated (no bashing, custody battles, child support issues, and we would all still go places together).
It used to amaze people that at sporting events my mom, dad, and step-mom would all hang out and talk, and *gasp* be civilized towards each other!

 

[ToscasMom]

For everyone on here who has shown a distaste for marriage or no excitement for marriage, were your role models happily married growing up?

This is a very amusing question, because it is so conditioned into people's heads to think that. It implies that only people from terrible homes with terrible parents can see joy the way they want to instead of the way someone expects them too. Absolutely. I had a very close, intact family and it encompassed grandparents, aunts, uncles etc. as well. My mother was my driving force. She grew a small company into a large "nontraditional" company long before men thought it was ok and she garnered many friends and respect for it. She taught me I could do anything I wanted to do and be anything I wanted to be, and she was living proof. My father was a wonderful man and they were good together in many many ways. Their marriage lasted till death and there was never even a hint that it wouldn't. I did always believe that my mother could have been anytihng she wanted had she not gotten married, but obviously I was glad she did. lol. The "terrible side effect" of this type of family is that I grew up thinking on my feet, making decisions, learning things that many people didn't learn till later in life, such as how to manage money, how to cook for twenty people, how to assess situations, work ethics, investing, well the sky was the limit. And so you see I never needed another person to make me feel whole. I think relationships and marriages are only happy when two people who are happy on their own get together and don't stifle each other's dreams even if they aren't the same as their partner's. I think marriages fall apart often because what a person wants in a partner when she or he is 22 is not the same as what they want in a partner when they are 45. I have a great relationship with my ex husband. It's far more fun knowing him now than it was before. It wasn't horrible for either of us, it simply wasn't a way in which to pursue happiness at another life-phase, so to speak.

I do not have a "distaste" of marriage. That is a term of inadvertent disdain designed by people who think I "should" want it. As I said before, I have absolutely nothing against marriage, it simply is not what I want. And that is ok whether someone else likes it or not. I support myself very well, have achieved things I had as goals and am very satisfied with my life. And since I am the only one who needs to be satisfied with it, and since I am not on entitlement programs and have happily made my own way, I simply shrug at the thought that it is bad to prefer not to be married.

 

[tessa_s212]

For everyone on here who has shown a distaste for marriage or no excitement for marriage, were your role models happily married growing up?

You know, that is a VERY good question and I think if most everyone answers there'll be some neat observations.

I was one of the ones that never though much of marriage. My parents are not happily married. My mom practically hates my dad. I grew up hearing her talk badly about him all my life. I've even seen my mom go as far as threatening to punch him, she's spit on him in front of me, and talking badly about him to us kids. And my dad can't stand us or my mom. My dad is never home and sometimes I don't see him for days at a time because he avoids the house by working all the time, and when he is home he's hiding in his room on his computer.

I do now have some people that I look up to that have happy marriages. Seeing them I didn't think so horribly of marriage anymore, but I certainly never thought I would have a happy marriage ever in my life.

My surroundings growing up certainly taught me to not think very highly of marriage.

 

[sparks19]

For everyone on here who has shown a distaste for marriage or no excitement for marriage, were your role models happily married growing up?

My parents were divorced when I was very young but they always had a good friendship.

My grandparents on my fathers side are still married though.

But I can honestly say that those situations did not shape my feelings about marriage what so ever. I never experienced having an "unbroken" home but I still think very highly of marriage.

 

[Juicy]

My sister is the total opposite of me. She's 27 now but she says when she was my age, she was obsessed with baby names. Every single boyfriend she had, she thought he was the one she'd marry.

I'm like that!! As a child I LOVED playing house & doing M.A.S.H. And baby names, thats my pastime!! Right now for a girl I like Neveah Genesis & a boy Elijah Isaiah. The boy I'm with now, I've already asked homy many kids he wants & what sexes. He would want a girl & name her Destiny. I like that name too!! He thinks if I name my girl Neveah Genesis, she'll be picked on in school, esp. if she turns out bad. Which most bible name children do, somehow.

 

[Charliesmommy]

This is a very amusing question, because it is so conditioned into people's heads to think that. It implies that only people from terrible homes with terrible parents can see joy the way they want to instead of the way someone expects them too.

I think relationships and marriages are only happy when two people who are happy on their own get together and don't stifle each other's dreams even if they aren't the same as their partner's. I think marriages fall apart often because what a person wants in a partner when she or he is 22 is not the same as what they want in a partner when they are 45.

I do not have a "distaste" of marriage. That is a term of inadvertent disdain designed by people who think I "should" want it. As I said before, I have absolutely nothing against marriage, it simply is not what I want. And that is ok whether someone else likes it or not. I support myself very well, have achieved things I had as goals and am very satisfied with my life. And since I am the only one who needs to be satisfied with it, and since I am not on entitlement programs and have happily made my own way, I simply shrug at the thought that it is bad to prefer not to be married.

Couldn't have said it better myself.

 

[96 GTS]

I always thought that someday I'd be married, no real plans to, but I just thought I would be. Then as I got older I kinda doubted I'd be married, simply because I'd never met a girl that I liked, and that liked me, and that I wanted to spend time together with.

Then along came Caitlin, and BAM! My whole world changed. I honestly knew, from the moment we met, that I wanted to spend the rest of our lives together, everything just clicked, it was absolutely perfect. We've been so far apart for so long, but I still have no doubt everything will work out. I'm still absolutely madly in love with her, and I know I will be until the day I die.

So anyway, that wasn't my original thinking, but now I'd say marriage is 100%

 

[Zoom]

For everyone on here who has shown a distaste for marriage or no excitement for marriage, were your role models happily married growing up?

I used to really want to get married when I was a kid and yes my parents were happily married and still are. But as I've gotten older and had some serious talks with my parents about their marriage and finding out things about other relative's marriages and things...it kind of scares me now. Who is to say that the person you wed at the alter will still be the same sort of person 6 months from then? That happened to my grandmother, she was voted least likely to get married in high school, then she met my grandpa who seemed like a nice, laid-back type of guy. Then they got married (it wasn't rushed) and he turned out to be a closet control freak who had to have things exactly his way. I know other people like that, that the person they dated was not the person they married. After having my own long-term relationship and having that end badly because we just grew to be too different and it made us both miserable, it really makes me leary of doing something legally binding that will cost me huge bucks to get out of if it turns out that it happens again.