Marriage that important?

[noludoru]

If it is wrong move on life is way to short to waste your time in a bad relationship.

That's EXACTLY my philosophy, Aussie!!! I get verbally bitch slapped for it by people who think that it's very important to try and make the relationship work (even if it's not marriage) because they feel obligated to... I just don't feel that way. If I have to drastically change myself or another person to get along, what is the point in staying?

 

[Buddy'sParents]

I enjoyed reading everyone's responses! Thanks for contributing everyone.

I was brought up that you find your mate , marry and then have a family . I'm old fashioned . Marriage to me was your commitment together in front of God and the world . I took my vows very seriously . It's a different world today . And I think it's because of this that the divorce rate is so high .

I took (take) my vows very seriously. Of course I want to have a family but it just wasn't the number one thing on my list of achievements when I was younger. So, it was important to me that I find my soul mate to live my life with but it was more important that I know me first.

 

[ACooper]

I took (take) my vows very seriously.

I do too BP.........and fortunately for me, so does Kevin. That is one reason our marriage is so strong & good.

Until death do us part (even if I have to kill him) :lol-sign:

 

[shazbot]

I can't honestly say that I grew wanting to get married and have a family. I was more interested in living my life. If I found some one to share it with great. I did get married how ever, and took my vows very seriously. Unfortunately he didn't. I did everything to save out marriage, spending a ton on counseling for us and him (he had some serious head issues that showed up after his grandfather passed) etc. In the end I realized that it takes 2 to make things work.

 

[Saje]

I always wanted to get married. I thought I'd be married by my early 20s. Thankfully I got out into the world and realized that was my parents dream. Not mine. That doesn't mean I dont' want to get married. I do. And I'm sure I will. When the time is right. Steve and I are comitted to each other. A wedding just seems to be a way of showing everyone that and I don't really feel like I need to prove it. When we do it it will be for us.

 

[Zoom]

I always figured I would get married sooner or later, I always figured I'd be hitched by 25 and that thought plus societal expectations almost made me settle for something less than the best. 6 years ago when we met, nothing would have made me happier, but times changed, we changed and I would probably be in divorce proceedings if we had gone through with it.

I still figure I'll get married at some point, but it's not a huge driving force. I have bigger things on my mind right now besides forking over a bunch of cash to throw a very expensive party and then go get preggers, namely my burgeoning business and training career. Whoever ends up with me is going to have to realize that, because I'm not giving up my independence easily.

 

[sparks19]

NO lol when I was a kid I did NOT want to get married and I did NOT want kids. I think my greatest ambition was to have dogs to be honest lol.

but that all changed. It was never anything that i really strived for..... I didn't try to make every relationship into one that could lead to marriage. But I did find myself thinking later (from my first really long term relationship) "Do I really see myself being married to this person and/or starting a family?" and the answer was NEVER yes. and then I figured if I couldn't see any of those things happening with that person.... what was the point of this relationship? It wasn't going to be anything more than it was at the time and it just showed that I wasn't happy ENOUGH. If I couldn't see spending the rest of my life with them.... then there was no point in spending another year or another month or another week or another day with them.

Then I met Brian and I knew within the first few WEEKS that I could definitely spend my life, marry and have a family with this man.

The only "expectations" I put on myself were that if possible I wanted to start having kids before I was in my 30's.... and that was simply personal preference. if it happened... great.... if it didn't.... thats ok too.

 

[Buckshot]

Marriage is almost as important as a prenup.

 

[Rosefern]

I was never interested in the whole husband, kids, house in the 'burbs, white picket fence sort of thing. And I'm still not.

I'm with an amazing man, who I want to be with for the rest of my life. He doesn't want children, and neither do I. We can devote our lives to each other, our animals, our careers - without having to worry about children. Whether we get married or not is up in the air right now...if we do it won't happen for a long time, but hey...

I firmly believe that life can be whatever you want it to be! Living by other people's standards on what you should do is no way to live your life...

-Rosefern

 

[PWCorgi]

I think most people are raised with the idea that getting married and having kids is just what you do.

I was raised quite the opposite, lol. My mom is very much anti-male/anti-marriage and was always telling my sister and I not to get married.
I have never wanted to get married or have children. What I look foreward to in the future is a job that I want to get up every morning and do, and a home full of pets. Seriously, that is it.

I too have had friends/family ask me if I'm a lesbian because I have no interest in having a boyfriend. They think it's wierd that I have never once thought about having a wedding. I remember when I was a little kid and we used to play "house", I was always, always the dog
If I should happen to meet a guy and fall in love I may consider marriage, but I'm not going to actively look for it.

 

[bubbatd]

Basically it's commitment to the love of your life and the children you produce . I believe every child born should have a birth father of the same name .

 

[mrose_s]

my mum thinks that her failed relationships we both my and my brothers fathers (and my stepdad) will effect how we go later in life.

my sister wants to get married, she wants kids and all that.

but i think i'm a lot like my mum, she never wanted to have kids (nor do i - i relaly hate them) and her first marriage was in her backyard in a red dress with green palm tree pattern.
i think if i ever did get married, i'd like a plain silver ring and to sign the papers all done, i can think of better things to spend my money on then my wedding. lol but i do understand how people would like to make it a big deal. for a lot of people it is, but to me, marriage is just signing papers, i'd also like to keep my last name.
considering my brother decided to take his father last name and when my mum and dad divorced i decided to take her maiden name when she did. so, technically, if you followed all the rules of society, didn't give birht out of wedlock, get married etc, then my mums name, my grandparents name would be gone, plus i love my last name. its so unique
my dad had a huge winge last year when i finally asked him to sign the papers to get a birth certificate with my mums name, not his. he said all this stuff like "its the last part of you i have left" and "i feel empty inside, i lost you, and your sister and my marriage and its like my name was all thats left"
there was a big email about it. i ended up having it on my boirth certificate that my name is my mums name but it does state that at one time i did have his last name.

i was thinking about trying to talk my best friend into marrying me. lol when i turned 16 and relised i could get married with mums permission i thought it would be fun just for the sake of it.

I have never wanted to get married or have children. What I look foreward to in the future is a job that I want to get up every morning and do, and a home full of pets. Seriously, that is it.

that about sums it up, little hermit in the mountains with heaps of animals

 

[Rosefern]

Basically it's commitment to the love of your life and the children you produce . I believe every child born should have a birth father of the same name .

Wouldn't that be wonderful? But that's not always how it happens...I was raised by my father. My mother was never around - and I don't think I'm any worse for the wear...I had an amazing role model in my life, who, through no fault of his own, had to be both parents, all the time. And he did a great job. But I'm biased.

-Rosefern

 

[~Jessie~]

When I was in elementary school, I always said that I wanted to get married when I was 23 years old. I never played with dolls when I was younger, but I had an insane stuffed animal/ plastic animal collection. I always loved animals and I couldn't wait to be out on my own so that I could have my own pack of dogs

I'm 22 years old now, and I've been engaged for 2 years. We wanted to wait to get married until we both had our undergrad degrees. My fiancee is a year younger than me, and we would like to get married next year.

I used to never want to have kids... but as I'm getting older, it doesn't seem like such a bad idea. It's funny how much things change... and it's kind of scary at the same time. I always figured I would just be married and we would have a ton of pets. I guess we'll just see what the future holds

 

[blue]

Honestly, I have never thought that far ahead, I still dont.

 

[Southpaw]

I don't want a huge wedding. Well okay, the ceremony itself can be amazing lol...but the thought of a reception does NOT appeal to me. I'd like a small one, after going to my brother's and sister's receptions...I just don't want one like that. Even though they made a bunch of $$$ from the dollar dance. :lol-sign:
I think I'd rather splurge my money on a sweet honeymoon.

My sister is the total opposite of me. She's 27 now but she says when she was my age, she was obsessed with baby names and she wanted like 15 kids LOL. Every single boyfriend she had, she thought he was the one she'd marry. She probably had her wedding planned YEARS before it happened. I'm not a huge kid person so I don't totally fawn over my nephews when I see them, and it makes no sense to my sister because she *loves* babies and can never put them down.

I don't think marriage has ever been "pushed" on me, my mom just always tells me to find someone who will treat me right, and to settle for no less. I don't think my parents would care if I didn't get married, unless that meant I was alone but that wouldn't necessarily be the case.

 

[Paige]

Getting married has never been on my mind. I remember being younger and all my female friends (which were few seeing as I was always with my twin brother and his friends) when asked what they wanted to be when they were older they'd say they wanted to get married. I said something about being a fire truck. Not a fire fighter.... a fire truck.

 

[Buddy'sParents]

Basically it's commitment to the love of your life and the children you produce . I believe every child born should have a birth father of the same name .

A name means nothing. I didn't have my birth father's name nor would I have wanted it. I also did not have my "step fathers"name even though he was the man that raised me. Doesn't make any difference.

But, I do see your point and children Mit and I have will have his last name.

 

[Lizmo]

I don't want a huge wedding. Well okay, the ceremony itself can be amazing lol...but the thought of a reception does NOT appeal to me. I'd like a small one, after going to my brother's and sister's receptions...I just don't want one like that. Even though they made a bunch of $$$ from the dollar dance. :lol-sign:
I think I'd rather splurge my money on a sweet honeymoon.

My sister is the total opposite of me. She's 27 now but she says when she was my age, she was obsessed with baby names and she wanted like 15 kids LOL. Every single boyfriend she had, she thought he was the one she'd marry. She probably had her wedding planned YEARS before it happened. I'm not a huge kid person so I don't totally fawn over my nephews when I see them, and it makes no sense to my sister because she *loves* babies and can never put them down.

I don't think marriage has ever been "pushed" on me, my mom just always tells me to find someone who will treat me right, and to settle for no less. I don't think my parents would care if I didn't get married, unless that meant I was alone but that wouldn't necessarily be the case.

Haha, you basically summed up what I was going to say

 

[shazbot]

I was raised quite the opposite, lol. My mom is very much anti-male/anti-marriage and was always telling my sister and I not to get married.
I have never wanted to get married or have children. What I look foreward to in the future is a job that I want to get up every morning and do, and a home full of pets. Seriously, that is it.

I too have had friends/family ask me if I'm a lesbian because I have no interest in having a boyfriend. They think it's wierd that I have never once thought about having a wedding. I remember when I was a little kid and we used to play "house", I was always, always the dog
If I should happen to meet a guy and fall in love I may consider marriage, but I'm not going to actively look for it.

I was pretty much the same when I was a kid. My family thought I was crazy because I didn't want kids. I have never wanted kids. When I was in high school I was never boy crazy. I was more interested in playing ball and working on school, my family thought the same thing...I must've been gay
But my family is a bunch of cookie cutter kids. They all needed to have kids and families, and thought that any body that didn't want that for themselves was strange.
They couldn't believe that I didn't want kids and thought it was unatural to not want them.