I still have Broni's little bear. I just never could bring myself to give it to Victor. When that idiot at the guild threw away the lion rug i took for Victor to lay on while we were there i was just sunk. That was Bronki's favorite. The guy knows not the pain i had in my heart when i realized it went out in the trash. Tuck em away in a special place. No other dog needs to play with them, they will have their own special stuff in time. Shoot i even felt bad when i turned over the car for AAron..this is reaaaallly going to sound lame, some of those white hairs in the nooks and crannies were Bronki's. Aaron was careful to vacuum every trace of my dogs out of that car, he thought i was rediculous when i said but cant you leave just a little. sighs....i know exactly how you feel i do. I wrote a poem about Bronki, that helped alittle. i finished my drawing of him, that hurt in ways i cant describe, but finishing it brought a little closure. I still miss him, and think of him daily as i know you do Lucas. The only thing that changed with time is tears fall less now.
Mary was my greatest concern, she wouldn't eat, she had lost every bit of zest she had in her and i thought i was going to lose her too. I wasn't ready for another dog, it seemed to be so wrong but Vic was the right choice. He gave us no peace, he exhausted us trying to exhaust him, and i think he healed our hearts, especially Mary's...ok me too. When you have lost so much in life it gets harder to handle losing anymore. My ordeal with mary showed me i am more post- stress then i thought, i didn't handle that at all and when the time comes, i don't know what i am going to do. She is the last of a whole lot of my life, Bronki included. Bronki was my healer, he helped me through so much illness and pain. I got to thinking, my first dog was my protector, Bronki was my healer, Mary is my sister. And Vic, is my motivator. Seems that each dog had just what i needed the most at that time in my life. I know they are angels. i really really believe that. i have no doubt that at the right time the right dog will be there for you. I just wish i could be there to see it happen.