Lord Have Mercy on the little children

[Gempress]

I can remember over 50 years ago what being sent to the principal's office meant.... a strapping .....I never wanted to be sent , so made sure I did nothing that would send me there.

LoL, forget 50 years ago. "Spats" are still used as a form of discipline in our school district. The vice principal in my junior high school kept a paddle hanging on the wall in his office. To my knowledge, he still does.

But I have nothing against people who don't spank their children. As long as time-outs, groundings, whatever are used to maintain good behavior.

The only thing that bothers me is when people don't do anything to try and teach their children. At a McDonald's the other day, I saw a 3-year-old fling herself on the floor and throw a wailing, screaming, kicking, temper tantrum because her hamburger only had two pickles on it. She wanted three pickles. This little girl pointed at the woman behind the counter and screamed "It's all that STUPID lady's fault!" And what does mom do? She goes up to the counter, smiles sheepishly, and asks "Could you please make another burger with three pickles on it, please?"

 

[bubbatd]

Why didn't the Mom just give her another pickle.... That spoiled brat will be trouble. I'm bowing out .... I can't fix today's society . Do the best you can folks ! I still believe that good citizens begin in their nest . Bye!

 

[jess2416]

The only thing that bothers me is when people don't do anything to try and teach their children. At a McDonald's the other day, I saw a 3-year-old fling herself on the floor and throw a wailing, screaming, kicking, temper tantrum because her hamburger only had two pickles on it. She wanted three pickles. This little girl pointed at the woman behind the counter and screamed "It's all that STUPID lady's fault!" And what does mom do? She goes up to the counter, smiles sheepishly, and asks "Could you please make another burger with three pickles on it, please?"

OMG... I know if I would've did that when I was younger I would have been in that mcdonalds bathroom in a second getting a spanking. I'm sorry but I cannot stand parents that can NOT control their children. I love kids and I hope to have some one day but it will be a cold day in he[[ before my kids (if I have any) talks to me or acts that way towards me.

 

[smkie]

grammy this isn't about you and your children and 20 years ago...times were different then, i got spanked too, i also got beat by my husband because i didn't agree with him. Yeah !go hitting, solves all kinds of things doens't it..! but this isn't about you or me..this about a small child being hit repeatedly and hard..those were HARD slaps..i have to wonder how hard to be heard from that far away. The more i think about it the sicker i get in the heart. This isn't a debate about proper punishments.this is about ...would you call..if you heard and saw what i did? OR would you wait until NEXT time you find one or two children out in the street away from home and supervision at the ripe old age of 5.
as to the little girl in Mcdonalds..i will bet my bottom dollar that her tantrum had anything to do with pickles..my guess is something else in her life is completely out of wack..at that age it sounds a whole lot like frustration to me but the puzzle is about what.

 

[tcreed]

I agree with Grammy about the way things were done 20 years ago. If you look at the statistics, juvenile crime has gone way up as well as teenage pregnancy. You're right about it being a different world/time now, I just don't agree it's for the better.

Beating of anyone is never justified. When you call CPS though, they will want to know one thing for sure. Did you see it? Or just hear it. Can anyone else back up the story. It's a shame, but they get tons of calls about children every day, and never have enough time to check them all. If it's her first offense, chances are they'll just call without sending anyone out.

Also, cupped hands sound louder than flat slaps. (Learned that in cheerleading) Hopefully it was more bark than bite.

 

[Debi]

I agree with Grammy about the way things were done 20 years ago. If you look at the statistics, juvenile crime has gone way up as well as teenage pregnancy. You're right about it being a different world/time now, I just don't agree it's for the better.

Beating of anyone is never justified. When you call CPS though, they will want to know one thing for sure. Did you see it? Or just hear it. Can anyone else back up the story. It's a shame, but they get tons of calls about children every day, and never have enough time to check them all. If it's her first offense, chances are they'll just call without sending anyone out.

Also, cupped hands sound louder than flat slaps. (Learned that in cheerleading) Hopefully it was more bark than bite.

I totally agree. you didn't see anything...you heard something. but, sound travels oddly at times and can be distorted. NO, I'm not saying this is 'mother of the year award' material. I'm saying you don't have enough proof to step in. should her 5 year old be out roaming....no, not in my mind of how you raise children. is it illegal within their home bounderies...I sincerely doubt it. it's bad parenting, but it isn't a call to social service. what would you hope to gain from calling social service?? to yank the child from it's home? oh, I can imagaine foster care will be much better. you don't KNOW their family life....mom may have done a bad thing slapping her child, but unless you were right there to witness you don't know for a fact how bad it really was. would you want the neighbors to determine what is going on at your house?? of course not. be careful with this, smkie. I sure don't mean to sound harsh.

 

[Kase]

Smkie, I'm sorry about the whole situation. In my opinion, if I were in your situation I would probably call someone. The kid was unsupervised and it sounds as if the mother isn't keeping track on where her children or the dog is. Too many things could go wrong if the children and dog continue to be out on the street unsupervised. About the smaking, thats just a matter of opinion. I was never smacked by my parents and as far as I'm concerned will never hit a child/animal as I think violence only results in fear rather than love, respect, trust ect but once again that is just my opinion. All I can say is do whatever feels right to you.

 

[mojozen]

smkie - having gone through CPS when i was 15 and being abused I can speak from experience to know even if you are sitting there in that chair with bruises they may or may not believe you. Especially if your parents clean up nice, keep a nice house (or give off the aura that they do) when a home check is done.

I personally believe that the US Child Services is useless.... just because the above happened to me. It didn't matter that I was being physically/emotionally abused on an almost daily basis - because my mom kept a nice house, and was well known in our community - i was "...obiviously provoking the attacks" and i should be "a better daughter to my nice mother."

(all that taught me was to not trust ANYONE in authority - i still have problems with police, firemen, social services etc. i don't provoke them, but i go silent and go into avoidence tatics whenever i see them)

Also again to repeat what others have said - unless you see it, witness the bruises RIGHT after they happen - they won't do jack.

You could maybe call the police the next time the kid is found roaming around - that will at least file a report that the 5 year olds are unsupervised.

 

[katt]

I would call.
It doesn't matter if they even come out, they should now have a record of your call.
The main reason of your call may not even be the 'spankings' but the unsupervised children.
That you did see with your own eyes. You can then related the 'spankings' you heard, but not as your main concern.

I would call, something or nothing may come of it, but at least you tried.

 

[smkie]

Thank you Katt..thank you thank you thank you ..i am sitting here dripping tears of frustration. Maybe i just didn't make clear what i heard..it went like this SLAP SLAP SLAP SLAP SLAP SLAP SLAP SLAP SLAP SLAP SLAP >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>..she didn't stop until her arm got tired.. only a yelp escaped on the second one..ever been hit so hard it took your breath..ever been hurt so bad that you cant even scream..THAT IS WHAT I HEARD..i do not exagerate, or make up tales. With that first slap my heart cramped in my chest. EVer hear something JUST SO WRONG? ANd it is tivialized, i have thought of this all morning..or lessened down, because it is an ugly thing to have to deal with So if it isn't REALLY that bad ,we can just turn our heads and look the other way. Better to do that, then to march in to her house ..yank her into her bedroom.. and have a policeman stand there and do exactly the same thing to her..everytime she hits her child i want a police man to go over there and hit her just as hard as she hit him.

IF it is a swat on the tusshie through a diaper..because a toddler is about to run across the road...with a responding NO ..as a warning of far worse.would such an action be justified.then and only then in MY BOOK..but to humilate, degrade, or even worse grow a ball of hate so big that when they become teenagers they cant stomp it down anymore and so they start to act out..THAT Is where violence comes from. Sorry i am about as wound up as a clock on this. AS shocked from the members here as i am by my mother that says..you better not get your neighbor mad at you>>. that is always her response. THAT is why we have crime...not because enough parents are not spanking or beating their children. arrrrgh i could just stomp and yell.
THis is what i imagine happend..little boy lets dog out by accident..probably cracked open the door and the dog that is as big as he is pushed past him and little boy thouht >NO! because he knows he is going to get hit for letting the dog out again..so he runs out the door to catch the dog and the dog keeps going ..now he is across the street thinking NO ..I GOTTA CATCH THE DOG! BUt neighbor lady comes out and catches the dog..oh Crap thinks little boy so he keeps on running. WHY Else would he run a half block in the opposite direction from home before he finally cam back to me? i called him over and over in a very nice way..HEY SON we need to take your puppy back come one! WE need to get the puppy back. He stopped and came back to me and we walked back to his house. HE seemed quite happy when he was telling me That's MY House.. he trusted me..he knew me, and he knew i wouldn't hurt him. But i did, i took him home and handed him over to what i wrote above. Next time..he wont stop for me or anyone else until he is worn out. THen who will be standing there to take him home to be beat?
I sit here in my living room shocked at everyone.
I will never take him home to mom again..that i promise...i will call and stand there until the authorites arrive and tell them what happened last time i took him home and why i want them to this time.

case in point the girl that shot her mother on the news recently..i said it when she was arrested..there is far more to this story then we are hearing..it is either extreme mental illness or there is extreme abuse. I was not suprised when i heard what her life was like.

 

[Debi]

well for goodness sakes, who knew you were going to get so upset because everyone didn't freak out. I happen to be quite a child advocate. so if you're so rattled, then do something about it already.

 

[smkie]

I have.

 

[Fran27]

Keep us posted Smkie!

 

[smkie]

i called and talked with the ss worker. She gave me a number to call for "next time" i am to call 911 first, and then call this number as well. I told her the whole story as it went down. She said i did the right thing in calling. She said of course all calls are confidential and i said it wouldn't matter they would know who it is..but i don't believe the anger would come to me. We have been down too long of a trail with the onyx saga for them to be otherwise. A fence..what i would give for a fence..just to start. The rest could be worked on. I do know that both parents are receiving therapy. (counciling) .hopefully this will come up there and it will be addressed by people they are going to for help.

 

[bubbatd]

Glad it's behind you and hope the story has a good ending for all.

 

[Puckstop31]

Is it me, or does the world get worse and worse the more "enlightened" we get?

I agree that the situation described is abuse. The parents of that child shopuld be punished.

But... Some of the other stuff in this thread.... Wow. No wonder kids don't know right from wrong anymore.

God bless my parents for the stern and often physical discipline I received as a kid. I deserved it and LEARNED from it. It is going to be an ugly day if the cops ever show up at my house because some nosy neighbor called them because I spanked my kids.

 

[smkie]

if it had been a "normal" spanking i would have not liked it but i would have not written about it either. That is a difference of opinion that i have developed from my own experience. That is why i said in " my book "..meaning not necessarily in a single other person's, but in my life that is what i believe. The rest is what i believe to be true., humiliation, degredation is as painful and abusive as phsyical ..just so much harder to prove, and so much deeper the damage of the individual. A swat swat is mild compared to what i was thinking about, like the girl that killed her mother was forced to undress in front of her parents as a "punishment" as well as other things. That just destroys something deep down inside a child that i don't think is ever repairable.

 

[PixieSticksandTricks]

Hopefully they family gets the help they need. I wish back then someone had spoken up to someone about my family and the goings on that happened that neighbors did witness. I think out of fear or respect of my father no one ever reported him. I never did because I was too scared of being seperated from my family because like I have said I love them with all my heart.

 

[Puckstop31]

humiliation, degredation is as painful and abusive as phsyical

Humiliation, done in a humorous way, works well. A common one my Dad would do is make me tell my Cub Scout pack all the bad things I did. Some of them were funny. The other kids laughing at me was one of the best lessons I ever got. My Dad was laughing too, in a good way. Later, he would always take me aside and explain to me why he did what he did, but only after it had time to sink in. The old "Sunlight is the best disinfectant" routine.

Forcing a child to undress, etc, is of course way too much.

 

[Puckstop31]

deep down inside a child that i don't think is ever repairable.

The is ALWAYS hope.