wow, I swore I was the ONLY person my age that felt like this! I went from being my daddy's little girl to someones girlfriend, to someones ex girlfriend to someones girlfriend to someones fiance and wife. I always "belonged" to someone, from 10th grade on up. I dated 2 guys, the second one is my loving husband. We were engaged after 6 months, 1 month after I graduated highschool. Married 1 year later. 2 years later I am "mom" to 6 juvinille delinquent boys. Well, we're leaving here in 2 months and I am back to being Tim's wife, just us and Sunny. I'm happy about the decision, really happy for the first time in a while. But as much as I treasure every experience, every memory I have made with Tim, I still feel like I missed out a bunch on single girl stuff. Though I am sure I would be lementing the fact I was 23 and unmarried by now if things hadn't happed as they did.
I actually had a chance to get my paramedic training, but twice I tried and for various reasons twice it didn't happen. So I sit here worrying about the future. Tim has a good job that in 1 year we are going to leave, move to Texas and Tim is going to finish his mechanical engineering degree. But where does that leave me? Finding jobs that pay the bills, jobs I may or may not like. But you know what? I love my husband and I know that this means the world to him and can greatly impact what happens with our family in the future. As it sits now no babies are due to enter my life as much as I willingly would caox them.(have to say I am having fun trying
) I find comfort in the fact that if I am destined to be "only" a wife and mother, I am going to do my best to be the greatest of both that I can be. If I am never a mother to my "own" children there are thousands of lost little souls that can use me. That's my purpose, and I find contentment and happieness in that. You have Ellie and Serge, Bassetlover, and everyone else has the ones they love, even if it is their doggies. There is no shame in loving to the fullest capacity and having that as your job. Do everything else in your life based on that . Work in the mundane story because Ellie needs clothes, and Serge and you need a house, and you love both of them so much it doesn't matter how much it sucks to work for a snarky mother in law.
I know that's not the "point" of what you are saying. If you think you can, you can accomplish anything. Don't ever settle. But remember there is honor and blessing in what you do. If you do decide to persue photography,you have your little angel Ellie to practice on.