Life update, finally. (Advice and insight welcome.)

Discussion in 'The Fire Hydrant' started by Barbara!, May 8, 2013.

  1. Jules

    Jules Magic, motherf@%$*#!

    Joined:
    Jan 13, 2006
    Messages:
    7,204
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Occupation:
    3
    Location:
    Indiana
    I also often wonder how often people themselves have witnessed others on assistance get into a new car/hear about bragging to others/ etc.

    While I know that the system isn't perfect and there are people who abuse it.... A lot of these statements seem soooo generalized and exaggerated.
     
  2. Grab

    Grab Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 13, 2005
    Messages:
    3,374
    Likes Received:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    36
    I honestly have never paid attention to what method other people are paying with at stores:confused:

    are there people who abuse the system? Sure. But that's true of pretty much everything. There are always going to be people who take advantage, no matter what source you're talking about. But, I still think that having the assistance available for those who DO need help is much more important than getting indignant about how I'm "paying their way". Because I don't think of it that way *shrug*
     
  3. JessLough

    JessLough Love My Mutt

    Joined:
    May 16, 2009
    Messages:
    13,402
    Likes Received:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    38
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    Kennel Manager
    Location:
    Guelph, Ontario
    Not talking about this thread instance, I think it happens a lot more than people think. Then again, I live in a neighbourhood where 95% are on assistance, and probably 85% of those are abusing it.

    Yah, me neither.
     
  4. Dogdragoness

    Dogdragoness Happy Spring!!!!

    Joined:
    May 31, 2012
    Messages:
    4,168
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    36
    Occupation:
    2
    Location:
    Gillett/Flower Mound TX
    Some folks are ... Uh ... More obvious about it then others, I normally don't notice what people do in the checkout in front of me either ... Unless they make a point to be noticed.

    State aid is a great concept, it just needs more tweaking & now they have this government issued cell phone thing ... Huh? The last time unchecked a cell phone wasn't a necessity
     
  5. sillysally

    sillysally Obey the Toad.

    Joined:
    Sep 20, 2008
    Messages:
    5,074
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Occupation:
    2 dogs, 2 cats, 2 birds, and 1 horse
    Location:
    A hole in the bottom of the sea.
    IDK, I've known a few people with questionable welfare habits. A coworker once offered to buy me lunch with his foodstamps. I have known a couple of people personally who were on assistance while they owned horses. I cleaned houses with a women who was having her trailer remodeled while getting a welfare check. We talked for weeks about the remodeling and new furniture and then she mentioned off hand that she'd gotten her welfare check a few days before.

    This is not generalized or exaggerated, they are things that I witnessed first hand. It should be noted that with the exception of the woman I cleaned with (I haven't been in contact with her for years) all of the above mentioned people are no longer on assistance.

    I have been behind one gentleman in line at the gas station when he loudly announced to the clerk that he wanted a carton of cigarettes and the rest on his purchases on his EBT card (Indiana's food stamp card). Kind if hard not to notice that...
     
  6. Red Chrome

    Red Chrome New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 26, 2006
    Messages:
    1,568
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    It's just my opinion.

    I don't feel babies should be brought into a world of uncertainty. This baby may not have a roof over his head when he gets here. Babies are expensive, diapers, binkies, clothes etc. expensive. But if you count on hand outs, I guess it wouldn't be that expensive. I have never counted on handouts, I was raised that if you own something that requires care or choose to have a child then you WORK and make it happen. Sure, use benefits if you absolutely need too, but try it without them first. I know lots of people on assistance but they don't have DSLR cameras and I pads or computers, they sold those things trying to make it.

    It may not be a popular opinion but it is mine. Take it as I am picking on her, whatever.

    Me, I'd be out looking for a second job instead of on the computer talking about what kind of assistance I can get.
     
  7. sillysally

    sillysally Obey the Toad.

    Joined:
    Sep 20, 2008
    Messages:
    5,074
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Occupation:
    2 dogs, 2 cats, 2 birds, and 1 horse
    Location:
    A hole in the bottom of the sea.
    You guys should have a local chapter of United Way, I would check them out. We have a special phone number here, but I'm sure you could go onto their website and get contact info. Ours has organizations that provide free or low cost child care.
     
  8. Red Chrome

    Red Chrome New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 26, 2006
    Messages:
    1,568
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    I don't know for sure about some. But some I overhear in the line talking about this new car and it's brand new etc. then they say, oh...this is on EBT and I'll pay cash for the beer.

    I've been down and out, borrowed money from parents, paid them back, still digging myself out of student loan debt and other debt from being a dumb young person. I applied for food stamps once when I was super hard on my luck, I was told nope, you don't qualify. I had nothing. But that's ok, I dug myself out and got stuff together. I know hardships and I know I would never bring a baby into them.
     
  9. JessLough

    JessLough Love My Mutt

    Joined:
    May 16, 2009
    Messages:
    13,402
    Likes Received:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    38
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    Kennel Manager
    Location:
    Guelph, Ontario
    What happened to the dogs?
     
  10. Dogdragoness

    Dogdragoness Happy Spring!!!!

    Joined:
    May 31, 2012
    Messages:
    4,168
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    36
    Occupation:
    2
    Location:
    Gillett/Flower Mound TX
    Those were my concerns too ... that she is bringing a kid into this world that she cant afford or take care of or is not prepared to take care of ... I just didnt want to say anything.
     
  11. Grab

    Grab Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 13, 2005
    Messages:
    3,374
    Likes Received:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    36
    I assumed it was a discussion of medical assistance. I have a decent job, but until recently, I had no health insurance. I was, briefly, on my husband's for a few years before (and during) the time I had my son. And thank heavens, because I ended up having a cancer issue that required surgery. But our monthly premiums for me alone were nearly a full paycheck. Thankfully, my work now covers my insurance, and I pay for Clive's. Now, insurance isn't a necessity, but many doctors (here, anyway) will not even take you as a patient without insurance. And with pregnancy, they have you going all the damned time. :rolleyes:
     
  12. Tahla9999

    Tahla9999 Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2008
    Messages:
    1,105
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    36
    I would rather see a single mother with a job and on food stamps, rather than two jobs where she has little to no time at all to spend with her child. If it makes life a little easier for that reason, than I have no probs with it. Barbara, do what you gotta do.:)
     
  13. Barbara!

    Barbara! New Member

    Joined:
    May 23, 2012
    Messages:
    1,457
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    You must not pay a whole lot of attention to what is posted and just interpret things how you wish to. Here, let me at least attempt to clarify for you...

    I hope you never have an unintentional pregnancy. However, there are some of us who did bring a baby into a world that can't quite afford it, and it's a mistake we made just like the mistakes other people make. If you want to sit around and tap dance on the mistakes of others as if you have never made any, go right on ahead, but please gallop your high horse in the opposite direction of my threads.

    I AM selling the laptop. (It actually gets sold tomorrow. Know where the money is going? To a deposit on my own place.) The DSLR is in limbo between my ex and I, as I need to get lawyer advice on it before selling it since that could get me into possible trouble. My iPad is broken in more ways than one, and I would be lucky to get $50 for it. I keep it so I can quickly respond to emails and so I can actually DO job applications and communicate with people I need to more effectively. (And no, I'm not just referring to Facebook.)

    I don't know where you got "This baby may not have a roof over his head when he gets here." as that has NEVER been a concern in this thread... Not even once. WHICH roof was the only thing up in the air. Once again, you took your own interpretation and ran with it.

    You can't say you're not picking on me and then point out things you find to be fishy about my specific situation.

    I am working 45+ hours a week at the job I am at now. It takes a severe physical toll on someone who is 32 weeks pregnant. Regardless, I am in search of a possible bar-tending job or something similar where I can earn tips or immediate money.

    I'm glad you would never bring a child into a situation like that. Again, applause for you. I didn't do it intentionally, either. **** happens. I'm doing everything I can to step up and do what's right by my child.

    My opinion on this?

    I live in America. I pay taxes in America and I am a citizen of America. Which means I can expect a higher quality of life than poverty and expect help if I truly need it. Are there scammers in the aid system? Definitely! Lots of them. But don't spit on all of them collectively like somehow aid programs shouldn't exist. That's what this country is about... A higher quality of life for all. I pay taxes, too, you know. My taxes also go to these programs. You're not the only one who pays for these "handouts".

    Given our past post history, Courtney, I thought we had come to an agreement that we would not post on each others threads. I posted this thread for advice and help and as I stated before, I would like the criticism to be kept OUT so that my thread isn't locked. If you would like to discuss aid programs in America, please start your own thread about it. That's not the purpose of this one.


    Then don't? Ryland will be just fine, I assure you. His care isn't in jeopardy. I could very well just go live with my parents and stay in that hole of a town and mooch off of them... But wait, wouldn't that also be a handout? Is it any different when the handout comes from parents instead of the state? I'm choosing to take state aid that is needed and try to make it out of my parents house in a better community for the good of me and my child.
     
  14. Barbara!

    Barbara! New Member

    Joined:
    May 23, 2012
    Messages:
    1,457
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Penny passed away. ): We rehomed Baloo. (He is doing AMAZING and I get regular updates.) Chevelle is with my ex. Malyk is currently at my parents house, where he will have a permanent home if I am unable to get/afford a place that allows me to have him.
     
  15. Barbara!

    Barbara! New Member

    Joined:
    May 23, 2012
    Messages:
    1,457
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    I'll definitely check it out! Thanks!
     
  16. Dizzy

    Dizzy Sit! Good dog.

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2005
    Messages:
    17,761
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    36
    Occupation:
    Not enough.
    Location:
    Wales
    Ignore them.

    I doubt half these people have an jot of empathy between them, and are completely unable to view the world out of anything but their own grimy depressingly inhumane goggles.

    If even half the parents I work with were doing the things you are right now, there wouldn't be a lot to worry about in this world, and my job would be a delight.

    Keep doing it, sod them. Get straight, get baby here, prove everyone wrong.
     
  17. sillysally

    sillysally Obey the Toad.

    Joined:
    Sep 20, 2008
    Messages:
    5,074
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Occupation:
    2 dogs, 2 cats, 2 birds, and 1 horse
    Location:
    A hole in the bottom of the sea.
    Not sure if I am one one of the unempathetic ones since I commented on knowing people personally who abused the system, but I can assure you that I am not. We went through a heck of a difficult situation with my dad this past year trying to get him government assistance while tapping out our own resouces to help him, so I have a first hand understanding of how this stuff goes. Life doesn't always go as planned, people have hard luck or make mistakes (or both), and I support assistance programs as a hand up as long as they are not abused...
     
  18. puppydog

    puppydog Tru evil has no pantyline

    Joined:
    Nov 27, 2006
    Messages:
    7,500
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0


    :hail: This times a million.
     
  19. milos_mommy

    milos_mommy Active Member

    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2006
    Messages:
    15,348
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    36
    Back on topic...Barbara, I'd be wary of moving in with D (and personally I think I'd go back to my parents before doing that, unless it seemed like marriage was in the near future), but if it's between living with D and sending Ryland to your parents, I think it's better for you not to be separated from Ryland.

    Aside from the fact that if your relationship isn't really solid and well-planned and you haven't known him long enough to know what he's really like for sure, you're risking an unstable family environment for Ryland...if Josh DOES try to get custody, it's going to look pretty bad to the court if you're living with a boyfriend you've been with less than 9 months - even if Josh is doing the same with his GF, unfortunately. Moms still get the upper hand in custody battles, but there's also a big double standard on their behavior.
     
  20. Barbara!

    Barbara! New Member

    Joined:
    May 23, 2012
    Messages:
    1,457
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    No no, I don't plan on it. Any situation where I am in the same home with him will be a temporary situation until a better one comes up. I, too, find it inappropriate to live with my newborn and new boyfriend. It's not fair to Ryland or my relationship with him.
     

Share This Page