Thanks everyone! Sorry it took so long for me to come back... Work and whatnot. I've either been working, sleeping, or eating. Haha. Or sitting and poking my belly.. And that's usually because I'm trying to sleep, but baby boy has other plans!
My stepmom now has a recording device next to the phone so she can record it next time he calls her. I never understand why he calls them anyways... They don't like him. Not at all and they never want to speak to him. Yet he continues to call them as if they will somehow open a door to me.
I did file with the police that he was harassing me so that it could be on file. I'm not sure what that does or if they go and say anything to him, though. I am currently living in a house where I'm never alone... D has two other male roommates and it's a large brick house. I am never without a "man" in the house, so to speak. Wish I could have a good dog, though. Lol. Malyk is back home with my parents until I am able to get a place of my own. I'm not too worried about him there... They feed him a bit too much, but my Dad adores him and he adores my Dad so I suppose that's all that matters.
I agree I don't think he would come here, and I agree safe is better than sorry.
Yeah, that was scary! My second day I made sure I drank tonnnns and kept my stomach with something in it, too. I also went and sat down for five minutes about once every hour and a half. I had a couple moments where I felt lightheaded, but nothing like the day before so I think I just need to keep myself fed and hydrated and don't over exert. Hopefully it doesn't get too much harder from here.
Thanks! I do feel vulnerable to him, which is why I stopped even reading what he sends or listening to his voicemails. I know he's poisonous to me and I'll just get pulled into his lies again, so I'm not even going to listen to him. My Mom said he's a snake perched on my shoulder, whispering into my ear... And that I need to knock him off. Truer words could not have been spoken, and when he sends me dozens of texts, I don't even glance at them, I just immediately delete.
Unfortunately he does know the exact town where D lives, but not because I told him, per say. D is a public figure in a couple circles, so the info isn't hard to get. However this town is still absolutely huge with three Walmarts and I have no doubt that Josh would never find me here, even if he drove around all day. Only a few of my friends know I am here, though, and they all have their lips sealed. None of them know my specific address. Only my parents know that.
I will definitely keep you in mind as having a friend in the area would be nice! Lol. I only have D, and an aunt. My best friend travels here often for work, but it's cool to know that someone else is around.
I have a baby shower at the end of this month with my aunts, and they are supposed to be covering the "big" things, but me needing a crib is a possibility. Thanks so much and I will be sure to shoot you a PM.
It was very similar to that! I felt suddenly like I was going to puke, then the vision thing, and the biggest indicator was I couldn't understand anything anymore. It's like those movies where everyone is going "wah wahhhh" when someone is about to pass out. I was able to keep all of that at bay the next day, though. Keeping hydrated and eating and not over exerting was the key, I suppose. That first day I just didn't expect anything like that to happen, so I went hard all day until I couldn't. Well now I know to take baby steps.
First off, and I'm saying this based on information from before, Josh is abusive. ANY texts, e-mails, etc. that you have documenting the abuse, SAVE IT.
See if you can get your grandma to write a statement about the stuff he said about owning you.
This is serious. He is scary. Guys like him tend to go berserk when they feel like they're losing control of the situation. That's when women get killed.
You take all the documentation down to the Texas courthouse and get an ex parte protection order. They will issue it that day, and the local law enforcement will serve it on him. If he contacts you/continues harassing you after that, he will go to jail.
I'm really serious. If there's a local women's shelter, talk to an advocate or social worker and they will help you do it.
It sounds like you're doing the best you can, making the most responsible and mature decisions with the options available.
Don't worry about school right now. I have two kids 5 and under. There are a lot of schools that offer online degree programs. I'm enrolled in an accounting program in a school that's a few hours away and it's so fantastic. I can stay up and do my coursework, at home, while my kids are sleeping. Babies have less predictable sleep hours, but they do nap. And if you breast feed there are 20 min to half hour intervals of pure boredom where you're just sitting. lol.
(((tonsofhugs))) I think you're so strong for everything you've pulled through. You're already a great mom, Ryland is really lucky to have you looking out for him.
See if you can get your grandma to write a statement about the stuff he said about owning you.
This is serious. He is scary. Guys like him tend to go berserk when they feel like they're losing control of the situation. That's when women get killed.
You take all the documentation down to the Texas courthouse and get an ex parte protection order. They will issue it that day, and the local law enforcement will serve it on him. If he contacts you/continues harassing you after that, he will go to jail.
I'm really serious. If there's a local women's shelter, talk to an advocate or social worker and they will help you do it.
It sounds like you're doing the best you can, making the most responsible and mature decisions with the options available.
Don't worry about school right now. I have two kids 5 and under. There are a lot of schools that offer online degree programs. I'm enrolled in an accounting program in a school that's a few hours away and it's so fantastic. I can stay up and do my coursework, at home, while my kids are sleeping. Babies have less predictable sleep hours, but they do nap. And if you breast feed there are 20 min to half hour intervals of pure boredom where you're just sitting. lol.
(((tonsofhugs))) I think you're so strong for everything you've pulled through. You're already a great mom, Ryland is really lucky to have you looking out for him.
I did file with the police that he was harassing me so that it could be on file. I'm not sure what that does or if they go and say anything to him, though. I am currently living in a house where I'm never alone... D has two other male roommates and it's a large brick house. I am never without a "man" in the house, so to speak. Wish I could have a good dog, though. Lol. Malyk is back home with my parents until I am able to get a place of my own. I'm not too worried about him there... They feed him a bit too much, but my Dad adores him and he adores my Dad so I suppose that's all that matters.
Considering his behavior, I think distance will be to your benefit. I second saving all communication, and having family members do the same. An order of protection would be helpful as well. He likely would not travel to do anything, as sometimes people like himself (especially considering his legal issues) are a bit cowardly. However, you'll want that paperwork just in case.
You might have a talk with your supervisor about being able to sit more, have portable fans on hand, etc. Keep ice water on hand and keep hydrated...it was likely an issue of overheating and dehydration. I'm a vet tech, so I didn't have the benefit that our pregnant receptionists did as far as being able to sit, etc. so I was quite lucky in that I had a pretty problem free pregnancy.
You might have a talk with your supervisor about being able to sit more, have portable fans on hand, etc. Keep ice water on hand and keep hydrated...it was likely an issue of overheating and dehydration. I'm a vet tech, so I didn't have the benefit that our pregnant receptionists did as far as being able to sit, etc. so I was quite lucky in that I had a pretty problem free pregnancy.
Yeah, that was scary! My second day I made sure I drank tonnnns and kept my stomach with something in it, too. I also went and sat down for five minutes about once every hour and a half. I had a couple moments where I felt lightheaded, but nothing like the day before so I think I just need to keep myself fed and hydrated and don't over exert. Hopefully it doesn't get too much harder from here.
I think this is the most coherent you've ever posted
But romy is right. You are very very vulnerable to josh right now. You hit every tick box for escalated abuse. Pregnancy is usually a trigger for worse violence and leaving is also one of the biggest triggers and most dangerous times.
Please stay safe, it is a very real danger. Don't give him any room to do anything stupid.
And well done, you are doing great.
But romy is right. You are very very vulnerable to josh right now. You hit every tick box for escalated abuse. Pregnancy is usually a trigger for worse violence and leaving is also one of the biggest triggers and most dangerous times.
Please stay safe, it is a very real danger. Don't give him any room to do anything stupid.
And well done, you are doing great.
Agreed, save all communication. Things have taken a turn for the seriously scary.
Don't communicate with him other than to keep him updated on your pregnancy/doctor visits, and I would do that by email, not phone. That way you have evidence that you did it, but also you won't get dragged into phone conversations with him.
For the love of god, nobody can tell him where you live or work.
Don't communicate with him other than to keep him updated on your pregnancy/doctor visits, and I would do that by email, not phone. That way you have evidence that you did it, but also you won't get dragged into phone conversations with him.
For the love of god, nobody can tell him where you live or work.
First of all, WELCOME TO TEXAS!!! I live in Fort Worth and this is really a great state and DFW has so very much to offer in jobs, education, cost of living is decent and no state income tax is a plus!
I think as long as you are being honest with your employer, and it sounds like you are, they very well may work with you. They hired you at 6 months pregnant knowing full well you will require a little time off after the baby is born so they know there have to be some physical limitations to your abilities for the short term. A stool at the register would help a lot I am sure. It has been very hot here this week and with all that is going on, you probably just need to slow down and take it one day at a time. That is all you can do. I have a desk job, but I worked with both of my children until the day before they were born.
I think you did the right thing by moving away from Josh as well. Things will only get worse after the baby is born and he thinks he has lost even more control of you so the distance will be a very good thing. And don't think twice about the computer. After rereading, I almost agree with the camera being given up as well. I would do my best not to engage with him about it anymore though than you have to, and keep in close contact with your attorney bc they are the one who will make sure you have dotted all your I's and crossed all your T's.
Good luck to you. I hope all goes well!!! I'm not sure exactly when we are moving our son out of his crib and into a bed, but it might be pretty soon, but will definately be by the end of the summer. If you haven't gotten a crib yet, I would be happy to give you ours when we are done with it. I know I used a Pack N Play with both kids for the first 6 weeks to 6 months. If you end up waiting to purchase one, let me know before you do if you are interested and I will let you know where we stand on it. Same goes with a high chair...which you wouldn't need for awhile anyway. We are close to done with that though too.
I think as long as you are being honest with your employer, and it sounds like you are, they very well may work with you. They hired you at 6 months pregnant knowing full well you will require a little time off after the baby is born so they know there have to be some physical limitations to your abilities for the short term. A stool at the register would help a lot I am sure. It has been very hot here this week and with all that is going on, you probably just need to slow down and take it one day at a time. That is all you can do. I have a desk job, but I worked with both of my children until the day before they were born.
I think you did the right thing by moving away from Josh as well. Things will only get worse after the baby is born and he thinks he has lost even more control of you so the distance will be a very good thing. And don't think twice about the computer. After rereading, I almost agree with the camera being given up as well. I would do my best not to engage with him about it anymore though than you have to, and keep in close contact with your attorney bc they are the one who will make sure you have dotted all your I's and crossed all your T's.
Good luck to you. I hope all goes well!!! I'm not sure exactly when we are moving our son out of his crib and into a bed, but it might be pretty soon, but will definately be by the end of the summer. If you haven't gotten a crib yet, I would be happy to give you ours when we are done with it. I know I used a Pack N Play with both kids for the first 6 weeks to 6 months. If you end up waiting to purchase one, let me know before you do if you are interested and I will let you know where we stand on it. Same goes with a high chair...which you wouldn't need for awhile anyway. We are close to done with that though too.
I have a baby shower at the end of this month with my aunts, and they are supposed to be covering the "big" things, but me needing a crib is a possibility. Thanks so much and I will be sure to shoot you a PM.
I agree with Dizzy, this post is much more rational and healthy-sounding than many of your previous posts, which is great to see!
Congratulations on your move to Dallas! I hope you find a lot of opportunities there, both for yourself and Ryland.
As far as blacking out at work...it probably did have to do with the heat/activity/etc. Make sure you stay EXTREMELY well hydrated, and I agree that asking your boss for things like a portable fan (or even bringing a little handheld battery one) and chances to sit down are important. You probably aren't going to be able to be on your feet all day for much longer. Even if it's just a stool behind the register, you're going to need a few chances to rest throughout the day.
The most important thing is going to be noticing when you're about to black out...for me, I start to feel very hot, and my vision starts to go black, first peripherally and then all over. If I get dizzy/lightheaded, I need to sit, or it just gets worse. At the point where my vision is blacking, it's pretty much too late to find a seat, so I will just sit on the ground because I don't want to fall.
Congratulations on your move to Dallas! I hope you find a lot of opportunities there, both for yourself and Ryland.
As far as blacking out at work...it probably did have to do with the heat/activity/etc. Make sure you stay EXTREMELY well hydrated, and I agree that asking your boss for things like a portable fan (or even bringing a little handheld battery one) and chances to sit down are important. You probably aren't going to be able to be on your feet all day for much longer. Even if it's just a stool behind the register, you're going to need a few chances to rest throughout the day.
The most important thing is going to be noticing when you're about to black out...for me, I start to feel very hot, and my vision starts to go black, first peripherally and then all over. If I get dizzy/lightheaded, I need to sit, or it just gets worse. At the point where my vision is blacking, it's pretty much too late to find a seat, so I will just sit on the ground because I don't want to fall.