Leaving the nest

[Laurelin]

I moved 400 miles away to college at 18. I still came home for the summer all but one year of college. Moved back in for one semester when my mom got sick and died, my dad needed the extra help. Moved back to finish college in TX, then graduated, moved back in with my dad for about 6 months.

Moved out again for the last time in October. I only live 6 miles from my family now. I see them occasionally, maybe once a week or two unless Emily is in visiting. Sometimes I miss the 400 mile distance (never any worry about them just dropping in, but they're good about not doing that) but it's also nice to have each other as built in dog sitters lol. Right now I'm house sitting for my dad and taking care of the dogs while he's out of town. It's also nice to not be completely out of the loop like I was in regards to family. I used to be annoyed when they'd tell me about such and such time when they all got together- except for me because I was too far away. My dad and I also work at the same company and while we were in totally different groups when I started, they moved him in November so now I see him more often at work, which is awkward. I was out with my co-workers and we ran into him at lunch this week. We're also all moving into the same building in May so I think we'll see each other even more. Right now we work in different buildings. But there will still be 11 floors between us so hopefully it's not too bad.

My first time moving out, I was scared and I cried when they left and after they visited the first couple of times. 400 miles seemed like a lot but I quickly learned to love it and the freedom, starting to build my own life. I visited home once a semester and then over Christmas and summer. I NEVER imagined moving back in twice, but it happened. When I moved back home the first time I barely thought of it since I knew my mom had been given less than 6 months to live and that someone in the family was going to have to work and get the kids to school (Josie was only 11, Emily was 16 and had no DL yet). Plus my mom needed around the clock care. It was a good decision I don't regret but it made my life get pushed back quite a bit as opposed to my plan.

When I moved back out to TX, my friends had all graduated and gone and I felt very lonely. Plus I felt like I just wasn't in the same place as the other students so had a hard time connecting. Finishing school was just not fun, the only bright thing at that time was getting Mia.

Moving back in at 24 even though it was only a couple months, SUCKED. It was awful, I felt like a bum and a leech. When I moved back out last year, it was amazing. I am SO SO glad I don't have to live at home anymore.

 

[Tortilla]

It probably doesn't count because it's not permanent, but a few months ago I moved 3000 miles and an ocean away from home for a university study abroad opportunity. I'd never lived away from home before (I commute to school from home, it's in the same city), so it was a bit of an adjustment at first. It's not even the distance, it was the cultural differences and such to adjust to. Also, I knew nobody here. It was rough for a couple weeks, but now I'm absolutely fine. In fact, I LOVE it here. It's going to be really hard to go back home and adjust back to living with my family, but I do miss them from time to time. And I really miss my dogs.

I have a really close relationship with my family, so there are times that I miss them. I usually call my mum once a week or so.

 

[k9krazee]

I moved to college 2 hours away right after high school. For my entire life I planned on going to MSU, which is 15 minutes from my parent's house and last minute decided I wanted to GET AWAY. The 2 hours away was perfect and I loved the freedom and I only came back when I had to or when I missed Jack too much. The first year I didn't call home or visit at all, second year I visited a little more, and years after that I visited more often. This last year when I changed colleges I went back to my parent's house every single weekend. Now I've "moved out for good" but still go back every other weekend. My boyfriend and I live 2 hours apart so we meet at my parent's house in the middle. Plus, Jack was there so I had to visit often.

I do miss my family, but would much rather visit than stay for a prolonged period of time. SO MUCH BETTER.

 

[jess2416]

my story is not the "norm" as I stayed with my parents until I was 30, Ive been out of their house for almost 2 yrs now and I can't imagine ever going back. I only live about 5 miles from them so I can see them basically whenever I want to, and I love that I dont think I could ever move more than an hour from them lol...

 

[*blackrose]

I'm moving out this August...but considering I'm moving a whole 15 minutes away, I don't think it will be that big of a deal. I've been spending about three or four nights a week at my boyfriend's place for the past few months, and that is really what drove me to finally move out. I love my family, but I love them so much more when I'm not around them 24/7. Seeing them once a week at church on Sundays will be good enough for me.

I think what I'll really miss is being so out of touch with "family life". If my younger brother has his girlfriend over to meet the family, if my sisters are having issues, if one of the animals needs something, if my dad makes pizza (LOL) I won't be home to experience that.

Now, ask me how much of a panic attack I'll be having if/when I move out of state/across the country/out of country with Mike due to him being stationed somewhere and I'll be singing a different tune.

 

[Zhucca]

I moved out when I was 17, and I haven't looked back.

I LOVE living by myself. I will never, ever live with my mom again if I have a choice. It's not that we don't get along, because we do... but just no. I do get jealous of friends sometimes because I miss having meals cooked for me, the money saved and all that jazz, but my mom stopped cooking as soon as she could and I was paying rent starting when I was 15/16. I never really had that easy experience to keep me in the nest. I've always been very independent. The life style of being out of your own is just great.

 

[Jules]

I moved out with 20, but lived close until 23. When I got married, we moved 6hours away... I cried for a week. I miss my parents a lot, not gonna lie. It has gotten substantially better, but I still miss them.

 

[Red.Apricot]

I moved out a little over a year ago, at 21. I only live about 5 miles from my parents, and since my dad is retired, I see him all the time. We're super close, though, so we talk on the phone a lot. I just got back from a three day camping trip with my mom, which was great.

I love living away from my parents. I have a much stronger relationship with them now than I did a year ago. We're actually a lot closer without the friction of living in the same house, and I think they're able to accept better that I'm not 16, and I'm able to see them as real people now. The curfews were starting to chafe pretty bad.

 

[LindaJD]

I think I see and hear from my kids more when they have moved out. My son comes by 4 days a week after work, has a quick meal and a cup of coffee with me and then heads off to school. When my daughter went away to school about a 90 minute drive away, she called me at least once a day and came home every other week-end. She is now going to school closer to home and lives here. I think she is the one child that will always live close to us. My youngest is still in high school and I'm not sure where she will end up. I do look forward to the day when it is just me and hubby in the house, but would like all my kids to live within driving distance, we'll have to wait and see how that goes.

 

[elegy]

I moved out for college, still came home the first two summers, spent the next summer with my boyfriend in his apartment, then after that got an apartment off campus with another girl. I did move home briefly after school until I found a job that allowed me to afford rent, and then moved out permanently. I still live in the same town as my parents- that wasn't intentional, just how it worked out.

So I've lived alone for like ten years now. It's never been emotionally distressing. Sometimes it's a little bit lonely and sometimes it'd be nice to have somebody else to do all the things, but mostly it's nice to not have to worry about anybody else's stuff/life.

The first night in my own apartment (well, it was a rented half-house), there was a drunk guy outside singing "Highway to Hell". I'll always remember that

 

[Candice007]

Hmm im 23 and im still at home

Im saving to buy my own house, here in Aus, houses are so expensive so ill be saving for a while, and my boyfriend wants to buy with me too. so saving saving.