Leaving the nest

[HayleyMarie]

What was your first experiance leaving your parents for good?

As alot of you know Im moving away from home. Right now I still live with my parents, and always have lived with my parents. So the whole concept of moving away from them is new to me.

Now Tyler has been living away from his family for the past 5 years of university so he's all used to it.

I'm not nervouse yet, but I'm sure as soon as reality hits that Im leaving my parents I might get a little more figity lol

Don't get me wrong Im so excited to move, so excited to have my own place, start a new life and adventures with Tyler. And the area we are moving is just full of awesomeness. I told Tyler to expect me to be a tad mopey for the first little while after we move because I will be missing my parents, and probably calling them everyday and vise vera ha ha.

So thats my little boo hooing, if you read it you get cotton candy

 

[Renee750il]

I'm no good on this one, lol.

I left when I was 18. Mom hit me in the face again. I told her not to ever, ever do that again. She did.

I don't remember what happened directly after that, except that she has never tried to hit me again . . . and I had 24 hours to get out, lol.

 

[LostAndConfused]

It's fun. Everyone should do it.

 

[~Dixie's_Mom~]

I obviously still live with my parents so I'm no help but I do feel your pain. I'm scared/sad that I'll soon be leaving home (still years down the road, but not many). I love my parents and spend a lot of time with them. My mom is a huge support for me and my dad is like one of my friends. We spend at least half the day if not more together as a family every day. We're all very family oriented so it will be weird. But I'll be moving with my sister so it won't be as bad, and we'll most likely be living in the same town.

 

[Paige]

I left at 19. I didn't spend much time at home before that and was always getting kicked out till I got pregnant. I had Briggs and stayed till he was I think around six months. My mom's drinking problem spiraled out of control. A family friend said I could move in with him and I took the offer. Shortly after that I found my own place. It's been nothing but good things.

I really like living on my own. I could never go back to living under someone's roof again.

 

[sparks19]

It was very difficult for me. I went through a depression and would cry myself to sleep some nights because I was sure my dad was living in squalor without me LOL

It was hard on me. Still is sometimes... I especially miss my mom. If i could
Move her here with us tomorrow I would lol

But i am very happy and it is now the norm

 

[-bogart-]

I wish the 20 and 21 yr olds would hurry and leave my house. They still seem to think I should have to pay for it all. I left home at 19 and never looked back. Best thingy I ever Dixie.

 

[PWCorgi]

I left when I was...20? I think? From Pennsylvania to Minnesota for Ryan/school. I cried myself to sleep the first night, after that everything was easier. I STILL miss home sometimes, and how easy home was/would be, but I know I am happier here in Minnesota.

The worst part for me is that I can't just drive a few hours and go see my mom. I have to buy a plane ticket and plan a whole big trip.

 

[lizzybeth727]

I left for college right out of high school. I lived in a dorm for the first three years so I still moved back with my parents over summer and holidays.

I was actually excited to leave the house. Dad tried to talk me into going to the local community college to save money (I paid for college myself) but there was no way I was going to do that. It's not that my parents were bad or anything, I just was ready to get out on my own. I've always been a bit independent. When I came back on holidays I worked as much as possible. My excuse was that I had to save for college (which I did), but really I enjoyed being out of the house. One summer I worked 65 hours a week at two jobs, commuted over 10 hours a week, AND took a summer class (at that community college ). Best summer ever, LOL.

Now I live 900 miles away, and I really don't mind it. It bothers me sometimes that I miss family events - my niece and nephew's birthdays, cousins' graduations, things like that - and holidays are difficult when I can't go home, but I've just focused on making my own memories, and making a lot of phone calls.

 

[ravennr]

For good, it was my move to Canada. Prior to that, when I was with my ex, I moved in with him twice: once when my mom and I had a bad falling out, and then again after his mom died and his family left him alone in the house where she was found dead (I felt terrible leaving him alone there so I moved in to make it easier for him).

I guess my situation is rather unique, in that I cannot leave the country, and it was a huge, almost kneejerk decision. I didn't get homesick, really, until I got the phonecall about my dad's accident. Since then, I get terrible bouts of homesickness and some days I don't bother getting out of bed. Again though, my situation is pretty unique.

Depending on how far you're moving away, you may or may not have horrible homesickness. I know my mom had a period where she was really depressed after I left. That made me feel even worse. I didn't know about it but my sisters told me. She was happy for me, but she had empty nest syndrome very badly. I never thought she'd be UPSET to see me go! It helps that they're all only a phonecall away.

Phonecalls make the transition much easier. Also, even if it's weird, I think that having my mom's recipes helps to keep me close to her. When I make her recipes for dinner sometimes, it's like she's there with me. It sounds silly but it's just something that comforts me.

 

[JacksonsMom]

No advice, but I know the day for me will soon be here. I am 21 now and often feel like I SHOULD be out on my own by now, but both parents practically beg me to stay, LOL. And I'm also not complaining because it's REALLY helping me out while still in school.

I still split my time between both houses, because I go to college 10 minutes away from my dads house, so I spent 3 nights a week there. I have a sibling at each house (4 year old sister at mom and stepdads, 8 year old brother at dad and stepmoms) and they each miss me greatly when I am gone for the few days that I am - it can be tough, because I love to spend time with them, but then sometimes just NEVER get a moment alone. But I don't want to complain, 'cuz I have it really easy.

Good luck!!

 

[Southpaw]

I still live at home... part of me wants to move out like, at this very moment. But I know it'll be super weird. Plus my mom has worked at home for most of my life so I'm used to her always being there.
We are a close family though and I know I'll never move far away, so it really won't be that big of a deal lol.

Interesting tidbit is that all my siblings that moved out, ended up moving back home at least once. So I guess once you leave, doesn't necessarily mean you're gone for good

 

[GipsyQueen]

I moved out at 19, a few months after I finished school. I come home on weekends because I like hanging out with my parents - and because my mom is doing a weekend course and needs help with the household. I generally don't come home during vacations except for weekends and christmas holidays.

 

[kady05]

I moved out with my boyfriend (we had been together for 4 1/2yrs. at the time) when I had just turned 22. We bought a house together, so it was a pretty big deal.

But, I moved like.. 5mi. away from my parents LOL. I didn't plan it that way, just happened to find a great house that was that close. It's worked out really nicely though, because they come watch my pets if we go to a dog show or something.. and I do the same for them.

But I'm very close with my parents (I even work with my dad at our company), I'm sure some people want to get as far away as possible!

The first few months was just weird for me, but I never really had any depression or anything like that.

 

[Taqroy]

I moved out when I was 18. Went into the dorms in college and cried myself to sleep for the first week. Then I moved back home for the summer and was like, NEVER AGAIN. Lol. I moved 2 1/2 hours away and have not moved back since. We currently live about two hours away from my parents and I think it's perfect. We don't visit very often but I always have the option and that makes all the difference (to me). And I am a very family oriented person - my dad used to worry about me in high school because I didn't go out partying, I worked and hung out with my family all the time. LOL.

It's going to be hard at first. But once you get used to it, it's SO nice to be on your own (or on your own with the person of your choice ).

 

[~Jessie~]

I left for college a few months after I turned 18. I lived in the dorms (I had my own bedroom but shared a bathroom with one other girl) and I HATED it. I ended up going home EVERY single weekend. I was dating my now husband at the time who was still in high school which made the home sickness worse (he lived about 2 miles from my parents). I scheduled all of my spring classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays, so I would be able to pack up on Thursday night and drive 3 hours south to go home until Monday night.

The following year Ian came up to the same college I was at, which made things MUCH better. I hardly ever went home.

Now, after living on my own for 8 years, I could NEVER imagine moving back with my parents and sister. I LOVE the freedom I have.

It's definitely hard at first, especially when you have a good home life and love your family. It gets easier, and soon you'll be sooo happy being on your own!

 

[SizzleDog]

Right after high school, moved to college. Rental house, not a dorm, so I could have Ilsa.

I didn't find it hard at all, but I'm a fairly independent person.

 

[sparks19]

Phonecalls make the transition much easier. Also, even if it's weird, I think that having my mom's recipes helps to keep me close to her. When I make her recipes for dinner sometimes, it's like she's there with me. It sounds silly but it's just something that comforts me.

This.

I call my mom every single day even when we have nothing new to say lol. it definitely helps to be able to talk to her all the time.

it does get easier. it's not a daily struggle to be away from them now or anything but I do miss them. The hardest is when they come here for a visit and then the day they leave I'm a weepy mess. Sometimes I just WANT MY MOMMY lol

I agree too that making things that remind me of her help too. LIke last night I made sort of a shepherds pie type thing (except really not at all like shepherds pie but I don't know how else to describe it LOL) and I made a crust for the top and then hubby laughed and pointed at my pants... I had flour handprints all over my pants. That is such a "my mom" thing lol. when we used to bake cookies together for christmas when i was a kid we would both end up covered in flour and our dogs back (she was black) was white with flour too hahaha

So those moments make feel closer to her too

 

[Lyzelle]

I don't have a happy leaving the nest story. Lol

I jumped out of my mother's house first chance I got, 18. It was an often escalating bomb threat. There was a lot of choices she made about my life, and of course it was always my life and my opportunities that suffered - whether it was a job or school or something as simple as learning to drive. I tried quitting cold turkey, but she would always draw me back, playing "good mommy" and the next thing I knew I was paying out again. Didn't matter if it was my wallet or my time, or she was guilt tripping me about the dogs SHE was supposed to care for. It was always "my" fault. The more I tried to distance myself, the more "hateful, childish, evil" so on and so on I became. Her husband often sent me threatening phone calls and texts, and also - I swear - sabotaged my car.

Last time I went anywhere near that house was to get Zander and get the hell out. Even then, I was obviously evil, spiteful, and selfish because I wanted MY dog.....and I was "so wrong for taking him away from the only home he had known for 7 years". Because, you know, dogs are obviously ruined for life if they actually get the **** out of a house they've been stuck in for years, tormented and lacking even the basic of care.

Ooooh. Blood boiling.

Short story; I'm glad I moved out as soon as possible. And it's done. Her, and the rest of my family, completely cut off from my life. My only regret is that my little brother is still there.

 

[CaliTerp07]

I moved 7 hours away to college when I was 18. Decided that wasn't far enough away to really feel like being away, so after a semester I transferred to a school across the country. I came home the first summer and was bored and annoyed at living at home (despite a full time internship and summer classes at the community college), and never came back again for longer than 3 weeks at a time. My second summer I got an internship on the east coast, and then I graduated after my 3rd year and started my full time job in DC. I now go home once or twice a year for a week at a time.