Leaving children in car seats.....

Discussion in 'The Fire Hydrant' started by Greenmagick, Jun 19, 2014.

  1. Greenmagick

    Greenmagick New Member

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    There was another recent story about a child being left in the care and dying. They are looking at a murder charge. Typical responses tend to be things like "How could a good parent do that?" and "He deserves to be locked in a hot car" etc. Lots of "HOw could that ever happen" and "I would NEVER do that".

    In discussing this, someone posted this article. Its long. Its heartbreaking. Its very hard to get through. It will affect you...but I think it needs to be read. Its from 2009 but that doesnt really matter...

    http://m.washingtonpost.com/lifesty...e0fe3a-f580-11e3-a3a5-42be35962a52_story.html
     
  2. Fran27

    Fran27 New Member

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    I've read so many of those articles... it's heartbreaking. And really not the parents fault. It's just stuff that happens... We've ALL been distracted and gone through the whole 'did I take my meds' or 'did I leave the keys on the door' stuff. ESPECIALLY when overtired, which happens a lot with small children... It's just a brain thing. It doesn't mean that they didn't care or were careless.
     
  3. StillandSilent

    StillandSilent New Member

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    Heres all I have to say about it.

    Last June, I was getting ready to do rescue transport. Leave NC on Friday, drive all night to VT, do adoptions Sat am, spend Sat night and drive back to NC Sunday. It's a crazy weekend. Gambit always goes with me. This was the first time I fostered Quid.

    I never drive my own car, since its easier for my father to drop me off then leave the car at the shelter all weekend. But he couldn't that day.

    I pulled up to the shelter and got Quid out of the car. Went inside and there was a debate over where Quid should be. Everything is in a flurry, we're trying to get all of the last minute stuff together. I was rattled and off balance.

    Almost 20 minutes went by before I happened to glance out in the parking lot and see my car. With Gambit still locked inside, windows up. It's a miracle that I saw him, and that he was not hurt.

    That dog is my heart and soul. I would never intentionally harm him. But all it took was one minute, and a few changed details (ie I drove myself instead of being dropped off, I had Quiddich to worry about), and he could have easily died at my hands.

    So, yeah, I can see how easily it could happen, and how one parent could lose focus for a few seconds. I intended to get both of them out at the same time. I just...didn't.

    If I had been a parent going to work, who wouldn't look at their care the rest of the day...I can't even think about what would have happened.
     
  4. Ozfozz

    Ozfozz Highbread Dingbat

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    Accidents happen, I get that.
    I myself am horribly forgetful at times.
    And in the case of forgetting a child in the backseat of a car, I am truly sorry for everyone involved.

    What gets me is the stories of people knowingly and willingly leaving their children in a hot car while they go to do something like a grocery shop. Children, unlike dogs, are allowed in stores.
    Sure it's more of a pain to unclip the car seat, and bring the kid with. But isn't that part of being a parent?
     
  5. sillysally

    sillysally Obey the Toad.

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    DH and I were at a casino once and there was a sign in the parking lot asking people to please not leave their children alone in the car while they come in and gamble...
     
  6. Greenmagick

    Greenmagick New Member

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    Yeah, intentionally leaving a child in for a long trip is just crazy. I DO actually understand it for a super quick run into the gas station or drop something off though and sometimes that can actually be statistically safer....or that poor woman who was trying to get a job and was homeless with no childcare etc.

    I just get really sad when I see people really believing these parents (the ones who truly forgot) deserve to be charged with murder, or believe it proves they were unfit parents in the first place etc.
     
  7. Ozfozz

    Ozfozz Highbread Dingbat

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    It makes me sad that there's even a need for that sign :(
     
  8. Ozfozz

    Ozfozz Highbread Dingbat

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    Being a parent to a young child especially, must be incredibly exhausting. And these poor people have to live with the guilt of their mistake for the rest of their lives. I can't even begin to image how broken they must feel to begin with, then to be labelled as cold-blooded murderers?
    People sadden and disgust me.
     
  9. ACooper

    ACooper Moderator

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    :( It breaks my heart each and every time I hear a story like this, be it baby or dog.

    There is a reason we have words like MISTAKE, ACCIDENT and TRAGEDY in our vocabulary. Somethings are exactly that and nothing else.

    Prayers for that poor family, I hope the authorities involved can find compassion.
     
  10. Fran27

    Fran27 New Member

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    It's definitely different if they leave the kid there on purpose...
     
  11. Laurelin

    Laurelin I'm All Ears

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    Wow, sad read. I just feel sad for all of them. :(
     
  12. Romy

    Romy Taxiderpy

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    I understand that there are accidents, but at the same time, if a child dies as a result then it seems like there should be a consequence. Maybe not a murder charge if leaving the kid was an accident, but something.

    Maybe that's just me being a rabid mom or a not nice person. I don't know. People get distracted and crash their cars. They're held responsible for damaged property and lost lives in those cases. There are lots of scenarios where carelessness results in a person's death, and that's why things like manslaughter charges exist.

    That said, I can't imagine how devastating it would be to lose one of my children. Honestly, I would want to be held accountable if it was due to a failing on my part. They depend on me to keep them safe, and if I ever made a mistake or poor choice that resulted in such dire consequences for one of them I would hope that the justice system would do something about it.

    Gah. Now I'm going to run around being hyper vigilant about kids in cars all summer long.
     
  13. Locke

    Locke Active Member

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    Thank you for posting that article.

    I think having to live with the guilt and anguish of having killed your child, not to mention the horrific sight of finding your dead child, is punishment enough for these parents. I can't even imagine being in that position. I would never forgive myself, ever.
     
  14. Miakoda

    Miakoda New Member

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    Actions have consequences even if they are "accidental".


    I'm not bothering to judge others, but in speaking for myself, I've been stressed out to unbelievable proportions and going through heaven knows what, yet I have never ever forgotten my child in a car.

    Just because someone feels guilty doesn't mean that they should then be absolved from the death of another human being.
     
  15. Miakoda

    Miakoda New Member

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    This. .
     
  16. Dizzy

    Dizzy Sit! Good dog.

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    I've carried lots of children and babies in my car.

    I have major paranoia every single time I need to stop to do something minor, about how you wrangle a baby/child out the car for a few minutes.

    My point is, it wouldn't even cross my mind to LEAVE a child in a car alone out of sight. I'm completely paranoid about someone stealing my dogs from my car, never mind a child! Unless the child is old enough to be independent for a few minutes alone, there's just NO WAY I could do it. Too many worst case scenarios for my liking.

    And if you're that scatter brained, leave a note on your dashboard or hanging from your mirror that says DONT FORGET THE CHILD!

    Eta - I do feel for the guy in the story, but I kind of also think who forgets that for 9 hours?? Devastating and tragic.
     
  17. Greenmagick

    Greenmagick New Member

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    Maybe people arent reading the article....but its not about being scatterbrained.

    Its not that there are no consequences for accidents...obviously there is a HUGE one here..the persons child is dead. However murder it is not.
     
  18. Romy

    Romy Taxiderpy

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    That's why there are a lot of other potential charges for people who kill someone through neglect. Then there are things like child endangerment, and well, neglect. Whenever someone posts a story about a dog dying in a hot car people here want to lynch the person responsible. I'm kind of baffled about the difference of opinion when it's a child and not a dog.
     
  19. Greenmagick

    Greenmagick New Member

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    If its a dog purposely left vs a child forgotten? THat to me is the huge difference. Punishing someone for making a stupid decision that causes injury is different than punishing someone for doing something they were totally unaware that they were doing. The parents are not choosing to leave the kids in the car (in the cases I am talking about) but have truly thought they already dropped them off at day care. There is no lesson there...no hey, think about this before you make this decision. In a choice yes, ramifications others have faced may make the person think about what they are doing.

    And yes, the story that happened the other day, and in some others, the parent was charged with actual murder.
     
  20. StillandSilent

    StillandSilent New Member

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    Like I posted earlier, Im not calling for a lynching for anyone. I came within an inch of being that person with Gambit. I would have sworn on a stack of bibles that I had taken him out of the car.

    Just like everyone else I sat there with my mouth open that someone could be so foolish and scattered as to forget a living creature in a car.

    No one thinks that they're that person who could do that, right until they are.
     

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