I do know how you feel,and I am so sorry. If you are a crafty person you could make something in memory of your beloved friend. I made a beaded hanging to put in my window, I made it in brown black and tan my Georges colours I look at it daily, when it moves in the breeze I see him in my mind running free at rainbow Bridge. It is an awful time you are going through you will love another puppy again .((hugs))