I've come to the conclusion that people suck

[tessa_s212]

I've got a friend with a dad and stepmom that well, to say it in the nicest way possible, are complete losers that don't deserve the lives they've been given. Her dad is just giving her up and sending to her drug addict mother that lives in a town with one of the crappiest school system around, and the people that go to that school are even worse. She's actually probably better off living with her real mom rather than with those two morons she lives with now, but because she's moving now she will not have my sister to be a constant friend and tutor for her.

Some people should not be allowed to have children. Some people deserve twice the horrible treatment that they give to their kids. I hope when they die of whatever cause they do, they realize how awful they were and feel the most horrible pain in their hearts they've ever felt for what they've done. But only not for what they have done, but for what they haven't done.

Earlier in this week I had said,
"What a awful world we live in when someone can let an animal get into this kind of condition. The pain I feel for this animal, and the hatred towards whoever let him get like that is beyond great.

For an animal lover, those feelings are natural and widely spoken by other animal lovers when hearing about this.

But I now want to point out that this is a wonderful world we live in that these wonderful people will take a chance on this dog, care for it through everything, no matter the vet care, and turn it into a loved and wonderful dog.

Sometimes it is the worst in the world that will bring out the best. And the best are these wonderful people, and all the other wonderful people in this world that dedicate their lives to helping others less fortunate."

I still believe that to be every bit true.. but for this remarkable young teenage girl, she found that one wonderful person that dedicates her life to helping others including this girl, and now she's being taken away. My sister will not be able to tutor her anymore, or hardly see her at all. Not only is this girl going to suffer from it, but so will my sister. One of the worst feelings in the world is wishing you could help, but can't. And soon my sister will have very little ability to continue to help this girl. And she had just FINALLY started to improve!

Right now I'm just completely unmotivated and just can't hardly handle this. I almost started crying two times today. But I don't allow myself to cry, specially not in front of others, so I could at least stop.

My sister and I are coming up with plans to find time to spend with this girl.. but its hard. In the summer we can hopefully kidnap her for half a day at a time where she can just volunteer at the humane society with us to get her away from her mother. But other than that.. we don't' know what else to do. She's taken interest in doing dog training with us a while back.. but I doubt her mother would allow her to get a dog. And all this is only if her mom will allow her out of the house. Who she is living with now have never let her had a social life and she has to BEG to get to go out with friends, even once every three months. I sure hope her real mom isn't like that.

 

[jess2416]

Im sorry about your friend, and I hope that everything works out for all the parties that are involved...

I almost started crying two times today. But I don't allow myself to cry, specially not in front of others, so I could at least stop.

That is one of the WORST things you can do..Trust me I learned from experience....YOU NEED TO CRY SOMETIMES...

Who cares if people see you....crying is NOT a sign of weakness....and I dont care who says it is...ITS NOT

 

[Dizzy]

I am willing to bet a HELL of a lot of money there are reasons that the mother is a drug addict, and there are awful, awful reasons they have become the people they have. Dark, scary secrets.

As a general rule people aren't born bad. Things happen, and its a vicious cycle that CAN pass down from generation to generation. (note 'can', not 'does').

This in NO way gives people any kinds of excuse, but it can help you understand why not everyone is the perfect parent.

People should be punished for their actions, indeed, but you will find that most people that do a bad deed, and abuse, and are drug addicts have really sad, unfortunate events happen to them... They all have a story to tell.

It's a sad, sad world unfortunately.

You can't write people off until you know the full story.... You can severely dislike them, that's natural... but sometimes, you have to actually look past that, in order to see the human underneath, and to help them, and help others around them...

 

[tessa_s212]

Right now I'm more willing to give the real mom more credit than her dad. Her dad, much like mine, has every chance and right to look out for his own daughter. But he simply doesn't. Her mom, much like mine, has some problems that have led her to have her own problems. But her mom also just simply doesn't do mcuh about caring either. The only reason she wants my friend is so that she doesn't have to pay child support anymore.

I lay all blame on the dad's shoulders. He has had chances and chances to do something right for his daughter, but he doesn't. My sister has been nice to this man, trying to convince him and talk to him to do something right. But he doesn't and he wont'. That man needs to grow some balls. My sister has told me that he doesn't want to make her live with her mom, but his thoughts do NOT matter if he doesn't rise to action. If he just lets that God-awful woman send that girl off because that woman hates her.. then he is JUST as bad. He is the FATHER. He should care enough to do something. But he doesn't. He doesn't and he won't and he is a horrible person for it, and I hate him for it. And I don't care how awful that is. I hate him. This same type of "man"/"father" has damaged me, and now this same type is damaging my friend. I hate him, and that will never change until he changes.

I need an escape. But there is snow on the ground nad is impossible to go get it all out by running 1-3 miles.

 

[Dizzy]

Tessa.... all this does is cry out that it's YOU that needs help, not you helping your friend.

You can't help her, when you aren't fixed yourself. That is like the blind leading the blind.

Her dad isn't your dad, their lives may look similar, but no two lives are the same, no two people are the same.

You don't hate him, you hate the person you think he is, which is your OWN father (I assume).

The best thing you can do, is probably the hardest, and that is to stay clear. And concentrate on you.

 

[tessa_s212]

DON'T EVER tell me that my sister and I can't help people. We can and we do. My sister has helped this girl in so many ways. We care a great deal about people, and I'm not about to stop caring.

This thread is not about me. Don't make it as such. This thread is about the sad and frustrating realities that innocent kids have to put up with stupid, awful, abusive parents. This thread is about my friend, who I care and love about, being treated badly. And about my sister, who does everything in her power to help this girl, and now that little power she had is being taken away.

If all you are going to do is try to continue to shove how "blind and troubled" I am down my throat, I ask that you please refrain from posting on this thread. Thanks.

 

[jess2416]

The only thing she was doing was offering advice.....come on now...

and it sounded like the truth....

 

[Julie]

All this talk about how bad all these people are really gets to me.....
This is only one sided.... your side,
And being on the "other" side of a teenage daughter.... I would be thought the most dreadfull person on earth. I have my own stories.... My own daughter wants/demands what she thinks she needs...... She now lives with her father, the man that gives his baby girl all her desires, which I end up somehow paying half for.... I shop at the thrift stores for clothes for my two sons, my husband, and myself, but she somehow deserves the "best". She is living a life style that I cannot afford for the people that do live in my home.... But all her friends hear a dramitized version of how much of a witch I am. She drives a van that her father paid for...., if she lived with me, she would only be driving if she worked a steady job..... she has quit two jobs, and has now stated she will never work in "food" no matter how much she needs something....just not an option.
The situation is sad, because she does not have two parents that are together on the same wave length....
Her dad, the provider........Her mother, the disciplinarian.......
Which would you choose?......No wonder I get such a bad rap, along with other parents that don't choose to give their teenager what they want...when they want it........
I for one "roll my eyes" when I see a one sided story of how bad the other parent is.... because we only see the one side of the way a parent is perceived.

 

[Erica]

*From the sounds of what you post* you sound like you are in a deep deep hole full of denial. If you don't start digging now, the bottom will give out on you eventually. Stop using others as an aide to escape your own problems and start examining yourself.

 

[zoe08]

If everyone only concentrated on themselves because they had problems NO ONE would ever get helped by someone else. Because EVERY one of us has problems of our own. Tessa is not perfect and neither are any of us. But if helping others helps her, then that is exactly what she should try to do. Helping someone else is usually the best way to feel better about yourself.

Tessa I am very sorry to hear about your friend. I truly hope that her mother will take responsibility and will do a better job than her father.

And I have had many friends who in high school choose to live with the parent that let them get away with everything. And that has upset me many times with my friends because I know their father's did everything in the world they could to raise them right. Then they get to be jr or sr in high school and decide they would rather live with their mom who practically abandoned them when they were little, just so they can go out and party all the time. And I have never once thought bad of the parent that actually took care of their kid responsibly.

 

[PWCorgi]

This thread is not about me. Don't make it as such.

Tessa, I think it might help if you look at it through our (other Chazzers') POV. We can only go by what we see, we do not know this other girl, but we do know you (to an extent). Without knowing 100% of both sides there is no possible way that we can have a totally informed opinion. We are merely responding to what you give us. You expect response from us, but then hate what we give you.

With that said, it might help for you to find a mental outlet in addition to a physical outlet, and if you'd like to talk I'd be happy to listen

 

[Mutt Luv]

I'm sorry to say this but I think your over reacting, this kind of stuff happens everyday and your getting VERY how do I say, well angry at the fact that others are posting their opinions. I think you started this thred JUST to have other people agree with you, that doesnt always happen, you have to be ready to see both sides and I dont think you are in this problem. I agree with Dizzys first post.

Its good you are helping people, we need more people like that but you cant help eveyone and I think you need to accept that, its a hard think to accept but I think you need to. Its like with shelter dog, you cant save them all, you can do what you can do and try your best. Thats what you have done with your friend, you and your sister have helped her, but it has come to a time where you can no longer help and thats when you need to let go, you have tryed REALLY hard with her and eveything but that is all you can do. I dont see a point in getting all frustrated and upset about it and you are getting by the sound of your second post VERY edgey. And I think you need to calm down.

Sorry if I sounded harsh, but its truth.




P.S there is a really good song called "Runaway Love" by Mary J. Blige and Ludacris(SP?) and its about some pretty sad things kids go through what there life is like.

 

[Zoom]

Maybe having the responsibility of her daughter living with her will make the mother wake up and start making some changes in her life. It's something to hope and pray for anyway.

I think it's admirable that you want to help this girl, but don't try to be a surrogate parent to her. Be her friend, but don't always take her word as concrete truth when it concerns her family. There is always another layer/side to things, as you well know, that stays closed off from others.

 

[smkie]

Have you heard the song i think the title is "Hell is a place called Home"? Sometimes people just do suck big time. I think it is so hard to be a kid under normal circumstances. maybe that song is called runaway love..wonder if we are thinking of the same song i might have the title wrong. Is on the radio a lot right now. I think it is one heck of a good song.

 

[darkchild16]

thats runaway love smkie. It is a good song and so true sadly

 

[tessa_s212]

Ha... its more than just the whole making her live with her mom. It's so much more. And these people, it isn't strict, its mentally and emotional abuse. Its so much more. As of right now I don't know if there's any physical abuse, because my sister does not tell me EVERYTHING, only things the girl wouldn't mind me knowing. I AM friends with her too, but I serve as a friend and a ear, my sister is her major source of advice and help.

We might not be able to help her as much, help her to keep her grades up, and I hope to God that after all the success my sister had with her that she doesn't revert back to harmful behaviors towards herself. But we are NOT giving up. We WILL find ways to still try to help her. We WILL find ways to still spend time with her, and my sister will still be on that phone no matter the place or time if she needs to talk. We're not giving up on this girl. She doesn't deserve that.

As for me being worked up, of course I am going to be worked up. I hate child abuse in all forms, specially when I have to see a younger friend go through it and have nothing I can do about it.. we can't even do as much now because she's moving. She's my friend, I care about her and love her, and I hate to see her hurting, and I hate to see my sister hurting because of this. I will not apologize for caring.

 

[tessa_s212]

If everyone only concentrated on themselves because they had problems NO ONE would ever get helped by someone else. Because EVERY one of us has problems of our own. Tessa is not perfect and neither are any of us. But if helping others helps her, then that is exactly what she should try to do. Helping someone else is usually the best way to feel better about yourself.

Tessa I am very sorry to hear about your friend. I truly hope that her mother will take responsibility and will do a better job than her father.

I've heard some bad things about her mom.. how she will actually come out and tell this girl she wished she was never born, she hated her, etc. I sure hope the mother has changed her behavior. My friend doesn't deserve any of this.

Thankyou so much for realizing this. I was first attacked and belittled for "caring too much about myself", and now I am treated the same for caring about others. In fact, it was many other's advice that told me to go out and help others. I have always done so, even through all the past attacks that accused me of caring too much about myself, and now that I have made a post about my caring and concern for this young girl, I am still attacked and told how blind and troubled I am.

Make up your minds people. But no matter, I'm still going to strive to help others. I'm still going to care about others like I always have. I've come to terms with my past. I can't change it. And I don't care to. It has turned me into the person that I am, and I like who I am. So don't make this about me and how "troubled" I am. I have almost entirely overcome my past, and now I am trying to help others do the same. And I will continue to do so no matter what people on the internet say, because it is my teachers, mentors, and friends that know the real me, and know how much I care about others, how much better I've come out of my past, and how I'm using it to help others.

 

[smkie]

there are so many people out there trapped in lives that make no sense to us as well as no sense to them. Bitter horrible cruel lives and all they can do is hope that someone cares. It is so easy in our society to turn the other way and hope that someone else takes care of it, while the problems remain and the damage is done and another broken person enters society and will either heal thy self or continue on. Sometimes you can make a difference, and sometimes you cant. THe point is do you try? First you have to ask yourself two questions. CAn you handle it if your envolvement makes no difference and secondly will your envolvement make it worse for this person. Only you know the answers to that.
Maaybe your sister will have had more influence then you thought. Maybe this girl will seek out someone like your sister again because your sister was there. She is really the only one that can do it.

 

[tessa_s212]

My sister's involvement has already helped this young girl in so many ways. We aren't quitting now. We are not going to let a little obstacle keep us away. This obstacle is a test, a challenge, and we are going to find a way around, under, or over it some how to continue to help this girl. I cannot and will not stop caring now, and surely my sister is even more set on the idea of finding a way to still help this girl.

 

[smkie]

Good for Sis. I hope the girl manages. Since she is a teen that is a point in her favor rather then being 8 or sobs..5. I know some of those too. I also know a family that grew up with a drug addicted mom and the tragedies that followed, and are still goin on. THree messed up lives from a messed up life. THe sorrow goes on and on. I also know another that through this person's own stamina grew up to be ,,make that two people, amazing, simply amazing successful and brillant people. It can happen.