I'm just so tired of all the crap

[tessa_s212]

*sigh*

It has been a big battle to get the things that our ours from my mom's house. My mom is now saying that I didn't buy ANY of the baby stuff I have stored at her house (which is BS!!! she does NOT have a job, she bought diddly).

Anyway, she's called the cops, claiming we stole tons of things (some things that we didn't actually buy, BUT both my mom and dad were telling us to take it the day we moved most of Tasha's things out of the house).. but most of the things she's claiming are hers or that we stole are things WE bought with our own money. My dad knows this, but he won't stand up for us. We HAVE to have receipts to take ANYTHING else out of the house that is ours. *sigh*... half the things are from garage sales.. hence, no receipt.

Well, we bought at least a few of the large items from a neighbor at a garage sale some years back. She's willing to write a statement stating that she sold us them (computer desk, coffee table, entertainment system). Hopefully the cops will accept that as proof of purchase. I have SO many baby things that I bought from consignment, but the receipts are probably long gone. Dustin's cousin got us a bassinet and playpen, so he's writing that in a statement so we can at least get that. Hopefully I can get my highchair.. hopefully my mom doesn't lie about that too.

ETA: When the cops showed up at the house, my mom had huge butcher knives stuck everywhere in teh wall (stabbing people that talk to her from the walls). The cops saw it, but can't really document as a threat to anyone else they say.. My dad didn't know they saw it yet adn tried to take them down and hide them. Too late. What a f+++ coward and dick. It's like he's doing everything in his power to NOT get mom help.

 

[drmom777]

What does you mom want a bunch of baby stuff for anyway? I am sorry you have to go through this.

 

[Saeleofu]

If your mom is that ill, she needs to be checked into a mental hospital. I don't know if laws vary from state to state, but I would think if she's that bad right now, you might be able to get her admitted against her will. The active phase of schizophrenia is a crisis, and it needs to be treated appropriately. Find someone who will support you in trying to do this - a sibling maybe, or a friend?

 

[tessa_s212]

I cannot admit her against her will, neither can my dad. It is illegal in OH. Cop, social worker, etc has to do it. Cops know about it.. they aren't doing anything. They saw the knife in the wall, they were told she tries to hit peopel when she drives. THey aren't doing anything.

My aunt knows about some of the things going on.. I haven't yet asked if she'd stand up and try and get her some help her not. It is about time I send her another email.

She is probably keeping the baby stuff 1) to hurt me and 2) incase my brothers ever have kids (ya right, I sure hope not)...

 

[ACooper]

I know it's hard Tess, she's your mother.........but my best advice is to STAY AWAY form all that. Yes, it might be your stuff..........but it's just stuff and not worth it IMO.

As far as getting her help, there is nothing wrong with trying to do so, but if you've already tried, your dad is no help, and the cops/doctors are no help, what else can you do?

If you want to stand on principle and attempt to force her to do the "right thing" by giving you what is rightfully yours, you are going to have to be prepared for the aggravation and sometimes even danger that comes with standing on principle

I doubt there is anything there that you and Dustin can't replace eventually.........just stay away from all of it.

((((((HUGS))))))

 

[Brattina88]

I am sorry you're going through this ((((hugs)) and {{{+++++vibes+++++}}}

(and I got booted of FB earlier, my batts were dying in the laptop lol and I didn't realize it until it was too late)

 

[Debi]

I think you had a post about it before...like when are you just done. the time is now. she's your mom, you love her. but you can't help her, and you know that. 'stuff' isn't worth any of the drama. don't go there...don't get involved in it...don't let your sister drag you in to it (no matter how much you also love her). it rests with YOU. only YOU can decide that you don't want to deal with the stress from people you simply can't help. you are an adult now. you have a family of your own. don't let emotion rule you, but rather step up and GET OUT of it.

 

[Bailey08]

I think you had a post about it before...like when are you just done. the time is now. she's your mom, you love her. but you can't help her, and you know that. 'stuff' isn't worth any of the drama. don't go there...don't get involved in it...don't let your sister drag you in to it (no matter how much you also love her). it rests with YOU. only YOU can decide that you don't want to deal with the stress from people you simply can't help. you are an adult now. you have a family of your own. don't let emotion rule you, but rather step up and GET OUT of it.

:hail:

I couldn't agree more.

 

[smkie]

Consider it the same as a fire and start clean. From someone that had to start over from scratch three times, i know how hard that is. Nothing is worth going through this.

 

[tessa_s212]

We're hopefully going to be able to go over tomorrow or Tuesday evening with the statements to get some of the stuff.. though we won't be able to get all of it. We'll have to get the cops before we can even go on the property. From the sounds of it, the cops ARE on our side... its just that legally they can't let us have our stuff now that she's accusing us of stealing her things.

I've already emailed my aunt, asking for details, if/what she's been diagnosed with, and pleaded for her help to get my mom help.

My mom has been harassing both of us through email and facebook. I have not responded not even once. I talk to her only on my terms, and right now not at all. There's no point.

My sister is not dragging me into anything. My mom is treating me badly, just the same. My sister is LIVING with me, and does not have a car. I'm not throwing her out, and I'm not going to refuse to drive her over to get her stuff either. I'm not going to throw my sister out of my life just because it'd supposedly be easier on me. Whatever I'm going through, she's got it 10 times worse right now and I will not do that.

It is just a matter of as soon as we can get everything we can, and then we can go about seeing what we can do to make her get help. Long shot,.. but we'll try anyway. And from there on, if she won't get help.. well, she just won't have any part in my life. Like I said, I have not and will not respond to her. When I get my stuff, I'm going to leave a letter for her explaining to her that I love her, but she needs help, and she won't have her grandson in her life ever again until she seeks help.

"everybody falls sometimes, gotta find the strength to rise from the ashes and make a new beginning. Anyone can feel the ache, you think its more than you can take, but you're stronger, stronger than you know. Don't you give up now, the sun will soon be shining" God is keeping me strong. Tears are shed, but I've got a baby, a husband and a sister to dance around with and learn what it is to actually have a real, happy, good holiday season.

 

[joce]

Call the local mental health centers/hospitals and ask for a crisis line or who does assessments. This is the only toldeo number I can find
(419) 255-9585


Call. Explain what has been going on. The knives in wall,any hallucinations, threats etc. They may or may not be able to help but it is worth trying. Here they will send out people to assess and write a pink slip and then get them taken in.

Stay away from her. Its awful she has your stuff but it might not be worth the fight.

 

[tessa_s212]

Thanks so much Joce! I'll give thema call.

 

[JennSLK]

good luck. Let us know how you are doing?

 

[Saeleofu]

Yes, do call - I'm glad you found a number Joce!

It's pretty apparent to me that it's schizophrenia. Nothing else is really associated with delusions and hallucinations to that extent. I hope someone can help you with her.

 

[ACooper]

Call the local mental health centers/hospitals and ask for a crisis line or who does assessments. This is the only toldeo number I can find
(419) 255-9585


Call. Explain what has been going on. The knives in wall,any hallucinations, threats etc. They may or may not be able to help but it is worth trying. Here they will send out people to assess and write a pink slip and then get them taken in.

Stay away from her. Its awful she has your stuff but it might not be worth the fight.

Awesome Joce!

I sure hope you can find someone to listen Tess.......I will pray that you do.

 

[Samantha's pet]

I am not 100% sure about this idea but what would happen if you were to just go in and take the stuff? Maybe when no one is home? I mean, isnt possession nine tenths of the law? That is why you are having to prove it is yours b/c she is currently in possession of it. If you just took it wouldnt she have to prove it was hers to get it back?

 

[tessa_s212]

We called cops.. they said we could file a theft complaint. We suggested them to call my dad instead first - to save them even more trouble. They did. My dad allowed us to take ALL our stuff. He surely wasn't going to put up a fight (because the cops told them we had statements from others saying it was ours and that we bought it or were given it as gifts).

So... we have EVERYTHING we need. There are things that are there that are mine, but I'm allowing them to keep it (spray nozzle & shower house so they can continue to easily bathe the dogs)... I'm very, very pleased. I even got my mom (very angrily though) to give up Marq's framed show winning photos. I almost cried just to have them.

And tonight.. my sister supplied me with a more local number that her social work teacher gave her. I called in, told them what was going on, that she was a danger to herself and others. They said that on their recommendation, they could call the local police and they could take her by force to the hospital. She asked for my phone number, and said she'd be in touch with me.

I feel like a huge relief.. but also guilt. My mom won't go in easy.. I'd feel really badly if a cop got injured, or if she had to be tazored. *sigh*

 

[Beanie]

I feel like a huge relief.. but also guilt. My mom won't go in easy.. I'd feel really badly if a cop got injured, or if she had to be tazored. *sigh*

Wouldn't you feel even worse if she hurt herself? Or hurt your dad? Or hurt some completely random, innocent person?
She is NOT in a good place and she needs help to get better. You should absolutely not feel guilty that you are doing your part to get her that help.


Glad you got your stuff, including some sentimental stuff like Marq's photos - did you get everything your sister needs, too?

 

[mwelling757]

Oh too bad you have to experience that from your own mother... She's really sick... My sister is a bit psycho ... But we just let go of the things she is claiming hers, it's really going nowhere... Among us, God knows everything, those are just material things... I know you love your mom... But sometimes letting go and forgiving is best... It's up to you though... well, best wishes to you and your family...

 

[tessa_s212]

I know what I'm doing is right. This is just a huge thing.. something I've thought about my entire life, but was always too scared to do anything. As a child, I would have done anything to keep my animals - including enduring the abuse we did. I always thought that when I was grown and had a place of my own and could keep all my animals, then maybe we could get her help....

And almost all of that has happened.... except I'm giving up my animals. Of course, it is best for them. I'm happy and glad Marq is back with his breeder. I know Cocoa will be in good hands. But, all this is best for my mom too. My mom may never be able to understand just how much I sacrificed to get her help. Cocoa may as well be my own flesh and blood. I may as well have carried her in my stomach, just hte same as Mason. That wonderful little dog is the sole reason I am alive today. But somehow I've found the strength to let her go for a little while, so my mom can get help.

My sister got my loveseat, bookshelves, her corner chair/couch thing, her entertainment system, etc, etc.. everything, even Spookie's grave stone/cement block.

My sister also spoke to a family member from my dad's side. She actually knows about my mom's illness, and told my sister that at one point she actually was on meds once. She was "normal", and happy. Thinking about has got me crying and SOOOO Angry... I hate him. I hate my dad. He's let my mom be SOOO unhappy ALLL my life, ALLL these years that she has missed out on, because HE'S too **** selfish to spend some money, to seek out government aid, to **** prideful to let anyone else know what is going on in his own home. I just don't get it. *I've* always questioned whether or not meds would actually make a difference.. if it'd all be worth it. But he KNEW They made a difference. He KNEW she could be happy and "normal" and he didn't even TRY.. I'm not even crying for myself right now. Right now I'm crying for my mom.. for all that she's suffered, when she didn't have to all those years.