To anyone on Chazhound that has ever said they want Holden, I have to reply with a very serious "Are you sure?".
It has come to my attention that Holden must have a mental disease, as that is the only way my mind can fathom the amount of refuse this dog shoves down his gullet at any given moment.
I've compiled a list in the past of just a few items he has consumed, but for those just chiming in, I'll give a quick recap:
- Garbage
- Dead animal carcass
- Vomit
- Slugs
- Tampons
- His own infected eye discharge
- Every banana peel to ever exist
- Pencils
... and not last and certainly not least: Poo. Feces. Excrement. Whatever you want to call it, he will eat it in all its varieties, from the steaming hot, fresh logs straight out of Zero's fluffy behind, to the cold, sloppy pile of plop of the mysterious creature outdoors in the bush. Now comes the part where I must stress that he doesn't just eat it, no, he EATS it. You walk by a stray poop on a walk and you've got a brawl on your hands, you against H-dog, to get away from it before it almost inevitably gets consumed with seemingly drug-induced obsession and vigor.
This dog will make a mental note of every pile of crap he can find if he can't get to it right away and will dive bomb it hours later if we happen by it again. My poor roommate made the mistake of taking Holden for a walk on a beautiful sunny day. He took note of the glorious pile of awesome at the very beginning of the walk and, on the way back, sprung on it with amazing urgency. It wasn't just any heap of poo - it was...
... hold your breath. Squeamish, leave now.
Runny, slimy, likely disease ridden human s!#@.
And just when I think I can't hate him any more, he then has the nerve, the AUDACITY, to deny something so delicious as a fresh shrimp.
Someone remove this dog from my presence immediately.
It has come to my attention that Holden must have a mental disease, as that is the only way my mind can fathom the amount of refuse this dog shoves down his gullet at any given moment.
I've compiled a list in the past of just a few items he has consumed, but for those just chiming in, I'll give a quick recap:
- Garbage
- Dead animal carcass
- Vomit
- Slugs
- Tampons
- His own infected eye discharge
- Every banana peel to ever exist
- Pencils
... and not last and certainly not least: Poo. Feces. Excrement. Whatever you want to call it, he will eat it in all its varieties, from the steaming hot, fresh logs straight out of Zero's fluffy behind, to the cold, sloppy pile of plop of the mysterious creature outdoors in the bush. Now comes the part where I must stress that he doesn't just eat it, no, he EATS it. You walk by a stray poop on a walk and you've got a brawl on your hands, you against H-dog, to get away from it before it almost inevitably gets consumed with seemingly drug-induced obsession and vigor.
This dog will make a mental note of every pile of crap he can find if he can't get to it right away and will dive bomb it hours later if we happen by it again. My poor roommate made the mistake of taking Holden for a walk on a beautiful sunny day. He took note of the glorious pile of awesome at the very beginning of the walk and, on the way back, sprung on it with amazing urgency. It wasn't just any heap of poo - it was...
... hold your breath. Squeamish, leave now.
Runny, slimy, likely disease ridden human s!#@.
And just when I think I can't hate him any more, he then has the nerve, the AUDACITY, to deny something so delicious as a fresh shrimp.
Eat the shrimp, Holden.
HOLDEN, EAT THE FRIGGIN SHRIMP!!
HOLDEN, EAT THE FRIGGIN SHRIMP!!
Someone remove this dog from my presence immediately.
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