Help Please! Having Nervous Breakdown Over New Puppy

[Bomgardner]

One thing that can help at night is if you put a blanket over his crate. We were having a problem where he would cry and cry at night because he could SEE us and wanted to be where we were. When we put the blanket over his crate, he couldn't see us anymore, so he was much more content to sleep because he didn't feel like he was missing out on anything. Maybe this will help you sleep a teensy bit more. I have no idea if this is recommended by experts, but it worked well for our puppy.

I was emotional as well when Snickers came home at 8 weeks. My husband got him for my birthday and wanted to know why I wasn't happy. I was like "I AM, I'm just TIRED!" He didn't quite understand then, but he can see that I'm much happier about it now (Snickers is now 4.5 months old). Good luck with your little one!

 

[uliaire]

Wow, a new puppy would be a lot to deal w/ without any mental preparation. I'm gonna try out the blanket when we leave him this evening.

Another thing is we're gonna set up an x pen for him at the office and I'm a little worried that he's not gonna take to it very well. (At home if he gets left behind the baby gate there is usually a fit) Right now I have his crate by my desk and he wanders in and out but stays pretty close and content. He does a lot of napping. But I need to juggle keeping him happy and quiet without making him too needy/clingy. I'm afraid if I put him on my lap too much I'm make him spoiled, which I def. don't want. But sometimes I have to do that to get him make in sleepy mode.

 

[Lizmo]

Putting him in your lap will not make him spoiled

Trust me, it get's a LOT better! You are doing great. He sounds like a great puppy! And is a cutie too.

Having your fiance help you will take a LOT of stress off you too. Also, don't be afriad to put him in the crate for 5-10 mins so you can have some "you" time.

Good luck! Don't worry!

 

[Whisper]

Like everyone else has said, it will get better. I have gone through the "puppy blues" as well. It can be difficult and overwhelming, but it is soo rewarding. It just takes lots of time and patience.
He is so adorable!
Good luck with everything!

 

[uliaire]

I guess I'm worried that if I let him in my lap too often he won't be content in his crate/bed and will always want to be in my lap.

 

[McKenzie]

I definitely agree with IliamnasQuest, take some sleep aid and see if your partner will take one night of puppy sitting. I went through the same feelings you have

stomach is always in knots, I have no appetite, I can't really sleep well, I wake up nauseous, I'm so emotional I start crying at any little thing.

I even went to the doctors for it and she told me that lack of sleep was a huge part of why I felt that way. After a few nights of good sleep I felt way better.
Also remember that it doesn't matter if you don't have a perfect puppy or your not a dog expert as long as you keep at it everything will work out.

 

[whatszmatter]

I"m sure there's been some good advice already, i didn't read past your post, but just take a deep breath, take another one, and relax. It isn't easy at first, as you're learning. Things get easier. As with anything, it takes time and patience, and maybe a few encouraging words. You'll get thru it,and dont' feel alone, lots of people feel the same things you are right after bringing a puppy home, they feel in over their heads.

There's lots of good info here, lots of shoulders to lean on and keep you on your feet, and once you get in the swing of things, you won't even remember feeling this way cause puppies and dogs have a way of bringing a lot more into your life than they take out. Good luck

 

[Sean5033]

It gets better.

I remember 20 minutes after we brought Domino home she squatted, and there was a quarter-sized puddle on the floor when she got up. I said "Well, it's started..." The late night whining, the keep-away games with hair-clips and underwear, going through a jumbo roll of paper towels in one day... it all fades away...

At the time, I didn't really think it was that much fun. But looking back, I appreciate Domino that much more because I know what she used to be. I can't wait to see what we go through tomorrow.

 

[Jessiep]

Glad to hear you are feeling a bit better about things. I would say those first 2 weeks I had sleep deprivation for sure! I as a total zombie, it was all about take the dog out...

how did the 1st night out go?

 

[uliaire]

The first night out was not the greatest. I filled his puppy kong and put it in his crate, covered his rate partially w/ a blankie and then we split before he started barking. When we got back I snuck up to the door closest to his crate and then heard him barking like a maniac. Not sure if he heard me or if he had been barking the whole time or if he started cuz he needed to go potty (he went really quickly once I took him out). We got back at 9:30. Normally he goes to bed at 10:30 and doesn't cry or bark too much, but last night his bedtime was extended to around 11:45 and he resorted to his his initial (first night's) loud crying/barking bedtime behavior. Then when I took him out at 3 he cried and barked when I put him back. So I had a pretty bad night's sleep.

He really hates being left alone. I think I'm doing what I should to train him out of this behavior (ignoring, then praising when quiet) but it sucks because I really can't let him keep barking b/c I don't want to bother the neighbors, etc. And at work I can't really get a chance to practice leaving him alone b/c he would definitely start crying and my business partners wouldn't be very happy. If he didn't have this issue a lot of my stress would be alleviated. Will he definitely grow out of this? Also, is it important to have him crated at regular times throughout the day, or is that unnecessary if he is supervised?

I'm hoping once I can train him to walk on a leash a lot will fall into place. He'll get in some playtime before work, a good walk into the office, a walk at lunch, and a walk out of the office.

So on account of my sleep deprivation and what seems to be a bit of a setback, I'm not really having a good day, not quite as bad as the other day, though.

 

[Scooter]

Personally, I don't think you can "spoil" a dog. They are the embodiment of joy and unconditional love. It will get better! Once your pup is trained you will see it's all worth it! Try to relax and enjoy the experience more. They're like kids, they don't stay young for long!

 

[uliaire]

Thanks so much everyone for all the support. It really does help.

Will it be huge deal if he doesn't do puppy kindergarten until 6 mo? The vet decided she wanted to wait until then to finish his vaccines (b/c of his size and the fact that he had a reaction to his first vaccine). Not that I would endanger him, of course, but I'm really bummed about this b/c I want him to be a well-adjusted dog who is calm with other dogs. I was also looking forward to some help w/ the training.

 

[Lizmo]

Ask if you can sit in on the training class and learn, then use what you have learned to teach your puppy. Then after your pup has finished his shots, start taking him to class.

Also, ask people that you know to bring there dog over to play with your puppy (make sure that dog is current on all shots and healthy and is well mannered and not aggressive.) Maybe your trainer could bring on of his/her dogs over for a small play session?

 

[wookie130]

I don't have much to add...sounds like your typical case of PPD (no, not post-partum depression...post-PUPPY depression!!!)...which are probably very similiar beasts. You have not made a mistake by caring for a puppy. You've done something that in time you'll wonder why you didn't do it sooner...because with hard work, and dedication, owning a dog can be one of life's most rewarding experiences. Once your pup is trained, and has matured, you'll never regret a single moment you've spent (even the sleepless moments!).

 

[uliaire]

Sorry to be going in circles here, but I have a new concern. When I got my two cats years ago, I felt a very strong connection with them after just a few days...We've had this little guy for about a week and a half and I'm not yet feeling a very strong connection or bond with him. It seems like there's something wrong with that. How long did it take you guys to form a close bond with your puppies?

 

[SisMorphine]

I didn't wait until Athena was done with her vax to begin socializing her. Some people disagree, but the prime socialization period ends at 12-16 weeks (depending on what expert you're reading) and I didn't want to miss that. To me it was worth the risk to be sure she was well socialized with dogs, people, and different environments.

As far as the screaming, it will hopefully subside. My pup (now 17 weeks) was a HORRIBLE screamer in her crate at first. Definitely grated on my nerves. Now the only time she'll scream is if she is done with her meal and wants out of her crate (I make her spend an hour in her crate after each meal to be sure it gets digested), and sometimes she will scream in the kennel at work when she hears her brother scream (he has SA issues). Otherwise she has grown out of it.

Oh, and for her at around 12 weeks she began to sleep through the night, and she now sleeps around 9 hours straight.

It gets easier, but puppies do suck! I truly can't stand puppies (I just want her to be 2 years old right now) but I got a puppy because I wanted to be sure that I could be the one raising her as the "baggage" of getting adult rescue dogs has taken it's toll on me and I couldn't deal with another at this time. I continuously have to remind myself of her good qualities, and really remind myself that she will be a fantastic, well adjusted, well behaved dog when she is full grown and THAT makes all of the puppy sucky-ness worth it. Drink a couple of glasses of red wine before bed. That'll knock you out cold for a few hours. At least it does for me!

 

[Lizmo]

I honestly didn't form the bond we have now, till about 6 months to a year old...and I had her since she was 5 weeks old.

Just give it time

 

[Zoom]

Puppies are kind of formless blobs personality-wise, at least some of them. My friend's dog is about a year old now and they're JUST starting to really bond and she's had him since he was 9 weeks old.

 

[otch1]

Hello Uliaire! This was great for me to read. As a trainer, I'm like Iliamnasquest. I'd have a puppy around all of the time, (and usually do) if I had my choice. The key is it's important to have help, the right equipment and to know when to take a break. Just as if you were dealing with an infant. This also helps with the bonding proccess you're talking about. It's very easy to become resentful or impatient when you're exhausted and you have a little "furry being" standing at you feet barking and barking for attention. If your fiance wasn't entirely on board with this, it's easy to be sensitive to any annoyance he might express, as well. Getting out there and enjoying your puppy, with other puppy owners is a wonderful way to get thru this period. As you've heard, everyone goes thru this. Having a very consistent schedule for the puppy, using your crate and x-pen, going thru your puppy class with others in your position, will make a world of difference. Be careful about an x-pen with this breed. Bar spacing is important when you choose the size, so there's no possibility of a leg getting hung up.

 

[otch1]

Oooops, sent this before finished. Also wanted to reccommend a few good books. Dr Ian Dunbar, Karen Pryor, Dr. John Wright all have books out specifically addressing raising a puppy. Also, "How to Raise a Puppy You Can Live With", and is a nice one to start with. Your puppy is toooo cute by the way!! Good luck!