Help Please! Having Nervous Breakdown Over New Puppy

[uliaire]

Hi everyone,

I'm a first time dog owner and I'm feeling completely overwhelmed. I've had my puppy for about a week and feel completely stressed out. This wasn't a rush decision...I had been thinking about getting a dog for years and had this one picked out a few months in advance. But now my stomach is always in knots, I have no appetite, I can't really sleep well, I wake up nauseous, I'm so emotional I start crying at any little thing. I can't help but feeling that I've made a huge mistake and there's nothing I can do about it. I feel like my life is over...all I want is to go back to my pre-puppy days. I put on a happy and confident face for my puppy, but inside I just feel terrible. Is this normal? Is it just a period of adjustment or is it more than that?

 

[jess2416]

I do believe its quite normal, there are a few of us here that have had the "puppy blues"...

 

[Maxy24]

Hi, What kind of problems are you having right now with the pup? What's stressing you out the most? I'm sure we can help you here and make everyone feel better as long as you are willing to do some work. I hope you find what you are looking for here and get right to work on asking any questions in the training or puppy forums about training.


-Erin

 

[uliaire]

Hi, Thanks for the responses. My puppy I'm sure is just you're average puppy with the normal issues that go along w/ not being trained yet. There's nothing in particular that's troubling me, it's just the overall experience and the changes and stress it's brought to my life. I'm definitely willing to do work. We've been crate training and he's getting pretty good about being in the crate and night. We've started w/ come and sit and the leash. I will bring him to puppy kindergarten once he has his vaccines all squared away. It's just that in general I feel extremely worn out and depressed.

 

[Maxy24]

That's normal and will eventually go away, I'm glad your crate training and very glad you are gonna do puppy kindergarten! Don't worry it will get better. i wish you and your puppy luck in this new life you have

 

[showpug]

Your feelings will go away. You are adjusting to a major life change. It's almost like having a baby. Getting a puppy changes a lot and requires a lot of time and attention and at times can make you feel like you have lost your freedom and sanity. BUT, the puppy will mature, you will adjust, and things will get better, I promise!

Eventually your dog wont be so demanding and require as much attention as a new puppy does. After about 2-3 years, you will probably be glad you put the time and effort in now. I started with 1 puppy many years ago and now I have 4 dogs. Just try to take a deep breath and relax. Pat yourself on the back and take it one day at a time!

So, any pictures? What breed of puppy did you get?

 

[Barb04]

Please hang in there. Take a deep breath and as others have said, it's a new experience for you and will get better. Try to enjoy playing with your pup and experiencing all the funny things your pup will do. We're here for you whenever you need to ask questions, etc. There's lots of help in the puppy section. Ask away, that's what we're here for. I can't wait to see a pic of your new pup.

 

[uliaire]

Thanks for the encouragement. I'm glad to hear these feelings will pass. He's a pomeranian and he's just about the cutest little guy I've ever seen. And a total sweetheart. Really there aren't any problems that you wouldn't expect... whining and barking when separated from us, play biting. Other than that he's really a great little guy. The problems aren't with him. It's just that everything is so much MORE than what I was prepared for. When I've taken care of grown, trained dogs in the past I just love it...I go about my life, but they're with me and part of it. But this puppy is just consuming my whole life at the moment. When do you think it'll pass? People say after a year it becomes so much easier but that seems like an awfully long time!!

 

[bubbatd]

What a sweetie !! Before you know it , you'll look back at this and laugh !! Just remember , this too will pass !

 

[Brattina88]

Welcome to Chazhound!

Ditto the others, its normal and it will pass. It takes longer for some people, but give it a couple of months and I bet you'll feel better

Cute pic!!

 

[showpug]

Give it two more months and it will be easier by then. By three years you'll be in heaven! Sounds like you are doing everything right and did your homework. Hang in there!!

 

[very_vizsla]

when i first got my vizsla puppy, after a week i wanted to throw her out the window! vizslas as a breed are known for wanting to be with their owners ALL the time. in the bathroom, in the kitchen, in the bed, i mean EVERYWHERE! i wasn't prepared to have a chewing, wiggling, squirming real life shadow with me 24/7. It was really like having a baby. but after a few months, we got used to each other. now i can't imagine life with out my little 'shadow'! don't worry, things will get better!

 

[Cheza]

I went through the same thing. The day after we got Cheza I sat in the shower and cried because I felt like i'd made the hugest mistake, it was just this sick feeling. I promise they will go away, and everything will get better! Your puppy is such a honey! Good luck!

 

[Zoom]

Wow, you guys are making me not want a puppy anymore... :yikes:

 

[Cheza]

Hahah well I feel stupid now about it
It was mostly getting used to the watching her constantly, the sleepless nights, the potty trips every half hour... Essentially getting used to my time not being mine anymore

 

[Jessiep]

Oh man oh man, we went through the same thing...I feel for you. My dog is 8 months old now and at about 6 months things got much much easier. I would say the 1st month was hell (he was 10 weeks when we got him), then it got better after that with a few rough patches.

Hang in there, it WILL get better as long as you stick with the training.

 

[RD]

Showpug is right. If you keep it up, you'll get used to it and in a few years you will have a wonderful, well-adjusted companion for years to come.

I regretted getting my first Border Collie. He was awful. Cute, yes, but he chewed things, he barked nonstop, he got into everything, he was clumsy and acted like a bull in a china shop. He had to be watched and protected at all times or he'd hurt himself or something else. If he couldn't be watched, he had to go in a crate where he would bark until my eardrums rang. I can't count the days I spent crying because he was SO difficult.

He's 2 years old now and honestly, all of that seems like it never happened. He crates silently, he sits politely for petting, he is careful not to destroy anything, he protects the house and amuses himself while we're gone. He's an intelligent, sensitive, playful, protective dog and I never would have expected that such a responsible creature would emerge from that obnoxious puppy.

It really will get better. Hang in there!

 

[IliamnasQuest]

Oh man, I LOVE the puppy time! I would have a puppy all the time if I could! *LOL*

I expect that what the original poster is going through is primarily sleep deprivation. That can really get to you when you're used to having undisturbed sleep. A young puppy needs so much extra time until they learn to sleep through the night (just like a human baby!) and it's very draining. And when you're tired everything else seems to be SO much more stressful.

Luckily that will ease once the pup learns to hold his urine longer.

What I would encourage you to do is be sure to spend time every day - numerous times if possible - just snuggling and playing with the pup. Watch everything he does and think about all the things you LIKE. Note how cute he is (and he IS!!) and how he makes you laugh at times. Hold onto those feelings! Try to get a nap in once in awhile when he's sleeping. Use puppy pacifiers - like a tiny kong stuffed with a small amount of squeeze cheese and some kibble or pieces of biscuit - and give him one of those in his kennel to help him relax when you kennel him. That will also help him fade off to sleep more quickly and allow you to do the same.

You may want to pick up an over the counter sleeping aid to help you relax and get some sleep since you said you weren't sleeping well. And give yourself the opportunity to take a break from him on occasion if you need to. Put him in his kennel, and go for a walk or a short drive and leave him home. Go shoot a game of pool or visit with friends. You may want to only try a short time at first but gradually you can increase that so that you can be away a few hours. Keep in mind that it is good for him to develop the ability to handle things with you gone, too. The "puppy pacifier" can help with this experience.

I became very sick right after I got my last puppy and it was a struggle .. but I found that the benefits FAR outweighed the disadvantages in the long run, even though it was a huge struggle to take care of my new puppy and deal with my illness too. I have never regretted it for an instant!

And if it remains overwhelming for you, just pack that little guy up and ship him to me! He's GORGEOUS and I've always kind of wanted a pom ..



Melanie and the gang in Alaska

 

[carlar]

Just try to relax and enjoy the puppy. They can be so much fun and create so many wonderful times. You're trying too hard and need to step back and enjoy.

 

[uliaire]

I really appreciate all of the responses. I'm doing a little better today. Just talking about it is really helpful. I probably am suffering from sleep deprivation. And I haven't had the time to make coffee so I'm probably going through withdrawl from that as well. Also, my fiance wasn't totally on board with the idea of a puppy so feeling completely responsible for all the added stress in our home and life is pretty hard.

The puppy is coming along with sit and is getting better on the leash, which is very rewarding. We're gonna leave him alone tonight for the first time (for 2 hours) and hopefully that will go well. He's really good during sleep time (about no barking) but he barks a lot when he's separated from me at other times. I've been ignoring and then praising...it hasn't really caught on yet, but I guess it's early. I guess if he was content to be by himself whenever needed, it would make it a lot easier.