Bear with me - I almost never post anything remotely personal online and I'm even second guessing myself now, but I'd really like some random opinions that are hard to get from family and friends.
Dilemma is as follows:
I have an apartment-mate (not a roommate, mind you). We each have our separate bedrooms, but share a living area and kitchen. She has a separate half-bathroom, but we share a shower.
Boyfriend has been coming over regularly for the past several weeks and started spending the night a few times a week. I've also had some friends over here and there. No parties, never more than four people at a time. Usually just movie nights/talking or even study groups. No alcohol ever. Roommate told me that the regularity of "visitors" was stressful to her (although she is at least acquaintances (if not friends) with every one of my friends & boyfriend) so we agreed to an 'every other day' policy (i.e. I'll only have anyone over every other day at most). I was okay with that. Not thrilled, but it seemed like an even compromise. Newest dilemma is that she recently told me that the overnights are bothering her. And that's where I need opinions. We've agreed to an 8x/month policy, but all of these restrictions are starting to make me feel like I'm living with a parent, not a roommate.
She even brought up the rent in her argument, which struck me as odd since he doesn't use any of the "amenities" here besides my personal space and sometimes the couch in the living room when it's free. Nothing I wouldn't be using by myself.
She goes to sleep early and gets up after me during most weekdays, so often she won't see the boyfriend at all. We haven't been keeping her up, I asked. I think she's just extremely introverted and me having someone here weirds her out to a degree. It's just frustrating. I'm sticking to my word because I know that it's important to be a good roommate, but I'm really starting to feel like I'm not living in a normal college situation. In almost every other situation living wise, we get along great. And don't get me wrong, there's been no passive aggressiveness or anything of the sort. She's been extremely good about telling me if/when something is up which I'm extremely grateful for. I just don't necessarily like what she has to say. Unfortunately going to his place is not an option because he has a legitimate ROOMmate.
Opinions/advice? Is our compromise reasonable or am I getting the short end of the stick?
Dilemma is as follows:
I have an apartment-mate (not a roommate, mind you). We each have our separate bedrooms, but share a living area and kitchen. She has a separate half-bathroom, but we share a shower.
Boyfriend has been coming over regularly for the past several weeks and started spending the night a few times a week. I've also had some friends over here and there. No parties, never more than four people at a time. Usually just movie nights/talking or even study groups. No alcohol ever. Roommate told me that the regularity of "visitors" was stressful to her (although she is at least acquaintances (if not friends) with every one of my friends & boyfriend) so we agreed to an 'every other day' policy (i.e. I'll only have anyone over every other day at most). I was okay with that. Not thrilled, but it seemed like an even compromise. Newest dilemma is that she recently told me that the overnights are bothering her. And that's where I need opinions. We've agreed to an 8x/month policy, but all of these restrictions are starting to make me feel like I'm living with a parent, not a roommate.
She even brought up the rent in her argument, which struck me as odd since he doesn't use any of the "amenities" here besides my personal space and sometimes the couch in the living room when it's free. Nothing I wouldn't be using by myself.
She goes to sleep early and gets up after me during most weekdays, so often she won't see the boyfriend at all. We haven't been keeping her up, I asked. I think she's just extremely introverted and me having someone here weirds her out to a degree. It's just frustrating. I'm sticking to my word because I know that it's important to be a good roommate, but I'm really starting to feel like I'm not living in a normal college situation. In almost every other situation living wise, we get along great. And don't get me wrong, there's been no passive aggressiveness or anything of the sort. She's been extremely good about telling me if/when something is up which I'm extremely grateful for. I just don't necessarily like what she has to say. Unfortunately going to his place is not an option because he has a legitimate ROOMmate.
Opinions/advice? Is our compromise reasonable or am I getting the short end of the stick?